TOTALLY AWESOME 100TH POST CELEBRATION

Wohoo!

Yes indeedy. This is my

Not the 99th, not the 101st. Nope, it's the Big Daddy of milestones in the blogging world, the big

Not sure what the weird stain on the one is....let's not think about that.

Okay, got that out of my system. It won't happen again, I promise.

Today is also coincidentally my three-year anniversary with the hubs.

I'm not going to get all sappy here because who wants to read that, honestly? I will say, though, that I am married to a wonderful man who is my best friend and a great father as well. Happy 3 years hun! LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE!

Now, I told you guys that this post will be ALL ABOUT ME. So I'm going to tell y'all as much as I can about me in as little space as possible. A mini-autobiography, if you will. (I don't want you guys to be here all day, so some details will be omitted, obviously. If I miss something that you're just determined to know about me, ask me and maybe I'll tell you.

So are we ready? Yes?

Okay. Here we go....

May 1984. Cutest baby ever.

Lots of cousins. Small town. Church. Sunday dinners at Mawmaw & Pawpaw's. Lots of moving back and forth between Louisiana and Tennessee.

Me and sis still super-cute.

'Rents part ways. Step-parents and more siblings follow. Teacher's pet. Singer. Elvis impersonator (the Jr. High kids knew me as "that first grader who does Elvis." No lie). Jr. High - Baskeball and softball player. Gifted art. National Jr. Honor Society.

High school ROCKED.

Lots of school spirit. BOYS. More teacher's pet business. Football games enthusiast (we were undefeated District Champs senior year!). Spanish Club. Student Government Association. Singer in a Christian youth band. Drama team.

LOTS of hanging out at Starbucks and the lakefront with my friends. Greatness.

COLLEGE.

Got my first cell phone. (Yes, I'm that old). MORE BOYS. Slacker. Class-skipper. General waste of time and money for two years.

LET'S TAKE A BREAK AND MOVE TO TENNESSEE FOR A YEAR.

New friends (awesome people). Telemarketing job (don't hate me). New boyfriends (losers). Quality time with Dad & TN fam. Great experience.


Move BACK to Louisiana.


Katrina.

6 (SIX!!) weeks without power. UGH.

Lots of working (attorney's office) and going out with friends (karaoke, bonfire parties and the likes). Losers and more losers. Then, finally...

I...........I'm so in love with you.....whatever you want to do.....is alright with MEEeeeeeeeEEEE. 'Cause YOOUUUUUUU make me feel so brand newwwwwww.

Ahem.

Fireworks. Foot-poppin' kiss. All that jazz.

Lots of late nights, cuddling and general goodness. Eventual Christmas Eve morning proposal. Wedding date set for September 1, 2007.....

May 2007 - SURPRISE! - we're pregnant. (Well, I'M pregnant, but you get it.)

September 1, 2007

Best. Day. Ever. Honeymoon. Planning for baby. Planning for baby. Planning.....

January 14, 2008

Baby Girl #1

9lb 11.7 oz

21 inches long

Spent one week in NICU where the nurses gave her the nickname "Chunky Monkey."




April 2008 - SURPRISE - we're pregnant AGAIN!

Learn to be parents. Plan for another baby. Get better at being parents. Plan for baby.

December 16, 2008

Baby Girl #2

7lb 14oz

19 inches long

"Tinkerbell"





Get our own place (FINALLY). Adjust to being parents of two. Life's grand. Our kids are the light of our lives.

And, of course, y'all know that I recently started back at school after a six-year hiatus. Wohoo.

So, life story completed, I'll give a few little extra tidbits for your entertainment:

LOVES - LSU football, the Saints, 80s movies, humor, art, photography, family, roadtrips, walking on the beach at night, the mountains, history, writing, singing, music, Glee, crawfish, double entendres, the sound of rivers, thunder and rain, puppy breath, flip flops, Christmas, rocking chairs, lazy days, riddles and word puzzles, pad thai, concerts, theater, reading, coffee, my iPhone, sarcasm, corny jokes and pickup lines, tshirts, jeans, Robert Frost, Egyptian cotton, parades, sleeping in, learning and hanging out on my grandparents' front porch, the color pink.

HATES - bridges, extreme heights, spiders, ROACHES, Jon & Kate, the octomom, pretentiousness, liars, severe weather, screaming music, traffic, socks, wrestling, Oprah, dust, ignorance, Speidi, yellow traffic lights, vienna sausages and spam, the dark, Michael Myers, 'isms, hypocrisy, that Borat guy and Michael Vick.

Alrighty, that should about cover it.


Now, on to the

Yay! First, thanks everyone who submitted a story. They were all greatly entertaining, and hubs and I thoroughly enjoyed reading them all! You guys are awesome, and it's so cool to have blogging pals and readers who ACTUALLY READ what I post. I love every comment I get. Basically, you guys rock. So thank you.

So, after reading every funny/awful date story submission, the hubs and I debated, then he thought about it...

and thought about it.....

and thought some more....

He's actually a very deep thinker.

FINALLY he made a decision. So, the MOST AWESOME First Date Story Winner is.....

SERENA from I Left My Heart In London....

Wohoo! Yay! Yippy doo! Congrats to you!

Serena submitted the best - or, rather, WORST - first date story, as per hubs' definite and final decision.

Email me at jessicabparnell@hotmail.com to let me know which 80s tee you'd like, in what size, and also your mailing address and I'll get that right out to ya! Yay for 100th Post Celebratory Giveaway Extravaganzas!

Here's our Most Awesome Winner's First Date Story:


My first year in London. This guy from work keeps asking me out. I keep refusing because of some unfinished business I have (or thought I had) with the boyfriend back in Italy. A couple of months later I cave, and take up his offer to go for coffee on a Sunday afternoon. The guy had always been super nice to me, and he seemed like a genuine and serious guy in general.

Boy, was I wrong!?!

We meet up near my underground station. I take three steps towards him to greet him, he grabs ahold of me, pulls me close and gives me a full blown kiss on the lips. I'm like - OKAY!?? I thought you were shy!!!

But it doesn't stop there. We approach the zebra lines to cross the street, and while we are standing and waiting at the traffic lights he leans over and slides his hand down my back and right into my pants and panties. I turn around shocked and glare at him, biting my lips not to scream and make a scene. Trying to remain calm and be polite, I ask him what's up with the embarassing gropefest, and he says he hasn't been on a date in a long time and doesn't know how to control the excitement. I tell him we are just going to have a chat over coffee anyway, so nothing to be excited about, and that if he doesn't behave I'll just turn around and leave. He begs me to stay, he almost shouts to the point that people on the way stop to look at us and give me concerned looks. We get to Starbucks and we order our coffees and cakes. I sit down on the mini-couch, and he sits down next to me...just a couple inches too close for comfort. The cakes arrive. I take a bite of mine and he picks up a piece of his in his hands..only to go and drop it not down but INSIDE my top. Next thing I know his hand is down my tshirt and his fingers are insinuating themselves inside my bra. Why of course, he's JUST TRYING TO TAKE OUT THAT PIECE OF CAKE HE'S *ACCIDENTALLY* DROPPED DOWN THERE!

I'm angry and outraged, and needless to say our date ends right that second. It freaks me out so much I almost put out a warning about the pervert at the office. Just, eewwww!

So much for trusting seemingly nice guys!

That's all, folks!

Fantabulous Friday

Oh, happy day.

It's CHICKA CHICKA YEAH Friday, y'all. School was great. I think I'm finally getting back into the swing of things (hey, don't judge, it's harder when you get old). Had my first test since starting back and ACED it like the genius my Mom thinks I am (love you Momma!). But enough of that...

I was pleasantly surprised to see stories popping up in the comments of my

post. I also received additional stories in my private email, and have had people asking if they could post a story in my NetworkedBlogs feed on Facebook. Before it's all over with I should have a plethora of stories to read to hubs, which is just FANTABULOUS. Apparently you folks like t-shirts. (But who doesn't?!)

So, although typically I'd make some sort of list of fantabulous things for y'all today, I have massive amounts of homework, studying and a project to work on, which will take up the majority of my weekend, so you'll just have to settle for this:

This dude - and I call him dude because he's obviously smoked something in his life - was out surfing with his buds and noticed

GREAT. WHITE. SHARKS.

swimming around beneath them in the ocean. So what does he do? Does he jump up and run across the water (which I think I might be able to do if I saw a shark - I fully believe Jesus would help me out on this one) to safety, never to return to the water again? Oh, no. Not this dude.

He goes home, rigs a camera to a pole, GOES BACK OUT INTO THE WATER IN THE EXACT SAME SPOT the next day and records the GIANT SHARKS (there's two) swimming around them in circles. For thirty minutes.

I'm convinced this guy is missing brain cells, because honestly, WHO does that?! Did he never see Jaws?

Anyhoo, the video is below, so check it out and form your own opinions of crazy dude.



Oh and hey, if you haven't submitted a hilarious first date story yet, go to my previous post and DO IT (like Nike, but without the cool check mark).

And have a FANTABULOUS weekend!

A Celebration, A Giveaway, An Anniversary & Another Blog Award

First up, let me give a big 'ol

MUCHAS GRACIAS

to Philly Girl over at Confessions of a Philly Girl. I gave her the Awesome Blog Award a few weeks ago, and when she selected her favorite blogs, she picked me as one! So....I have been awarded the award that I made!

HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!

Here it is, in all of its awesome glory:

I'm just uber-excited and feel all warm and fuzzy inside about it .

But enough of that...

There are two - count 'em, TWO - big announcements I need to make today.

Number One:

In a mere six days the hubs and I will celebrate our third anniversary.

Yep, three years ago September 1st we tied the knot, signed our lives away, bought the cow, made the big leap, said adios to the single life....and any/all other marriage-related phrases.

(You don't need to share congrats or well-wishes or anything, I just felt like sharing it with y'all since we're all BFFs here.)

Number Two (and the announcement YOU, THE READER will be more interested in):

In a few days I will hit the milestone of

100th POST!

This is me when I realized I'm nearing 100 (minus the fur and whiskers).

In ridiculously dramatic celebration of this momumentous occasion, I have decided to do a GIVEAWAY.

I never thought I'd do one of these, but we've all gotta cave sometime, right?

So, here we go with the contest explanation and prizes...

I want YOU

(You)

to comment (on this post) your most hilarious first date story. To be specific, it can be hilarious in a good way OR in a bad way (because sometimes bad can be funny). Include details, but don't give me a mini novel. I'll read the hubs all of your stories, and he (in his infinite wisdom) will pick the best story, aka Most Fantabulous.

I decided to go with first date stories partly because of our anniversary, but mostly because I like to laugh and you people are all so wonderfully entertaining.


Our Most Fantabulous winner will get their choice of one of the following AWESOME t-shirts from 80sTees (I will order whatever specific size you need):

(Note: If none of these tickle your fancy, feel free to browse the 80sTees website and maybe we can get you another t-shirt of your choice - be considerate and pick one of the $20 shirts though, please.)

The Most Fantabulous winner will be announced in my 100th Post Celebration (in about five days or so), which will be a post ALL ABOUT ME.

I know, you can't wait. It's okay to be excited.

So, if you have any questions (which you shouldn't because this was pretty detailed) about the contest or my general awesomeness, feel free to comment me or hit me up on the email: jb_parnell@yahoo.com

Love, peace and chicken grease, y'all!