If I ever divorce Hubs, it will most likely be over movie preferences

After being nice enough to let Hubs use the 52" television in the living room all day to play Xbox basketball, I suggested he turn it off so we could all watch a movie together (ie: something everyone in the family would enjoy).  I thought he would play awesome hubs/dad and pick something fun.  So did he pick a Disney film or a cheesy family movie?

Oh, no.  He picked The Fifth Element. 

REALLY?

First of all, I am not a sci-fi fan at all.  Well, minus a very few exceptions such as X-Men, Terminator 2 and Jurassic Park.  Even Star Wars was pushing it for me.  Hubs, however, is a true nerd.  His DNA strands probably wear tiny pocket protectors.  He owns the original Star Trek movies as well as the entire Deep Space Nine television series.  He plays World of Warcraft.  He has little models of the Enterprise.  He even had a custom-made Jedi costume that he insists on wearing EVERY SINGLE HALLOWEEN.  Sheesh. 

Despite all of this, he's a pretty cool dude.  He's a great hubs and a wonderful father, so you'd think he'd understand that I do not care to watch anything involving robots (except for Wall-E) and/or futuristic costumes (as if everyone in the future would really wear those hideous silver jumpsuit things). 

Let's analyze sci-fi films for a minute.  I can give you perfect examples of why they suck. 

• Plot lines - I know people like stories about things that normally wouldn't happen, but some of these are so completely out in left field it's ridiculous. 
• Ex:  Fifth Element (obviously), The Matrix
• Costumes - not at all realistic, especially when based in the future
• Ex:  Demolition Man, Star Trek
• Villians - generally the same villian in every movie - either a creature, aliens or some really ugly guy with weird hair
• Ex:  Alien, Predator, X-Files
• Dialogue - It's like they try to make up as many words/races/worlds as possible. 
• Ex:  Star Trek, Star Wars, Total Recall

Right now there's this hideous dude (presumably the villain) with some kind of clear plastic thing on his head and his hair showing on one side, complete with creepy oily comb-over.  Said dude also has an accent equal to Dallas, Texas.

If you're a sci-fi fan, I hope you'll forgive me for my feelings of the genre. 

As for me, I guess I'll just Facebook until this ridiculous movie ends.

The Great Return

Hey y'all!











No, I didn't die.  Some of you were concerned and checked on me, which I appreciate. As for the rest of you.....FOR SHAME. 

Just kidding.

Seriously though, sorry for my extended absence.  I have SO much reading to do.  I have to catch up on what you guys have all been up to lately.  I've just been so busy the past few months that I've barely had time to catch up on my DVR'd shows.  That's busy. 

So, what have I been up to all this time, you ask?  (Even if you didn't ask, just go with it)

Well, in January I volunteered to be on the committee for my ten-year high school reunion, and that has taken up an enormous amount of my free time - way more than I originally thought it would.  It's a very involved process, much of which the majority of my former classmates have no idea.  There's venue selection - which is ridiculously expensive and a contract must be signed for several THOUSAND dollars - which is no easy decision, then there's the food, band, decorations, theme, keeping up with the Facebook page (my job), people-finding (which thanks to Facebook is impressively easy now) invitations, t-shirt design (another of my jobs), pre-reunion functions, blahbety blah blah.  I'm starting to think I should be getting paid for this.  Whoever made up the word "volunteer" should be shot.  With a bazooka.  Or a cannon. 

Anyhoo, I also started the Spring semester in January, which is going extremely well thus far.  I have some pretty interesting classes, such as Early American History, Art History and Sociology; and some not-so interesting classes, such as Early Civilization (BORING) and Geography of US and Canada (not so bad, I just hate maps).

Aside from that, I've just been busy with the usual - hubs, kiddos, job, etc.  

On a much more exciting note, I have three awesomely fantastical and fantabulous events coming up:

March 13:

RASCAL FLATTS

Chicka chicka yeah!  The original date was in February, but the Flatts got stuck in Texas due to snow (I know, snow in TEXAS?!  Come on!) and had to be rescheduled.  This will be my second time seeing them in concert, and they're fabulous, so I can't wait!

As if that concert wonderfulness wasn't enough....

April 9:

LADY GAGA

I say it's a graduation gift for my younger cousin, but I really do want to see her live.  It's going to be freaky and kinky and dirty and I can't wait!

Despite my excitement over the two concerts, neither can even come close to the absolute, six-year-old-on-Christmas-morning, Richard-Simmons-workout-video, over-the-top, complete and total anticipation over what's coming in May:

WASHINGTON, D.C.

I cannot accurately express my excitement over this trip.  Five days and four nights in my nation's capital.  I will have the opportunity to be THISCLOSE to the original Declaration of Independence (among other historical documents), walk through the Library of Congress (a bookworm's dream come true), stand in front of the White House, the Lincoln Memorial and so many other monuments, as well as explore a few of the massive Smithsonian Museums and see pieces of history right in front of me.  I've already warned Hubs that I may cry.  More than once.

I've always loved history, but my delight over this trip has solidified my decision to teach history.  How can I not attempt to pass on this affection to young, impressionable minds?  I can only hope my appreciation of history will rub off on my future students. 

So, this is a warning, I will be talking about this trip A LOT over the next two months.  I promise I'll try to keep the enthusiasm down as much as possible. 

Also, it's currently Carnival Season in Louisiana (aka MARDI GRAS).  That means lots of king cake, parades, beads and a break from school.  I have the entire week off next week.  I plan to spend it working on two essays (there's no real break from school), Spring cleaning, doing some Washington research/planning and shopping.  Lots and lots of shopping.  (Don't tell Hubs.)


Well, it feels good to be back, and I'm going to try and make a valiant effort to keep up with blogging, because I really enjoy it, especially reading the posts of my BBBs (Blogging Best Buds).  I've missed you guys!

Love, peace & chicken grease, y'all!

Abnormal News Day

I haven't done one of these in a really long time, but I'm not entirely sure why. There's been plenty of abnormal news. Oh well. Here we go again...

First up, can I just say:

WHAT is up with birds falling from the sky and fish suddenly dying in massive amounts?

According to MSNBC, something like 5,000 blackbirds just dropped from the sky a few days ago. All of them dead or dying. Autopsies revealed no illnesses or poison. Odd.

Then in the SAME STATE (Arkansas) over 100,000 fish suddenly died in a river.

A few days later, 500 more birds fell from the sky in Louisiana. Not near me, thankfully. I would have freaked out had massive amounts of birds just randomly begun falling from the sky.

Then today it was reported that more birds suddenly died and fell out of the sky in Sweden and Kentucky.

Is it me or does this seem sort of like a Stephen King novel? Where's Jack Nicholson? If he starts acting weird, I'm building a bomb shelter.

Unkillable Cow

The next time you come across a cow, use caution. According to the story of an elderly woman, her husband was out repairing a fence when he was attacked by a crossbred cow. She heard his screams and ran to his aid to find that he had already shot the cow at least once with his .22 caliber pistol.

In order to help her husband, she hit the cow repeatedly with her husband's truck, which apparently didn't affect the cow. After that she shot it in the face several more times. The cow STILL didn't die. It was, however, contained. The elderly man was sent to the hospital in critical condition.

In my head all I can picture is this:













Close inspection of the cow revealed that it had radioactive chemicals in its bloodstream.






Just kidding.

Had you there for a second, didn't I?

Movie Delight Monday - Tom Hanks Edition

"There's no crying in baseball!"

One of my favorite lines from any movie.  Ever.

Tom Hanks is the epitome of great actor.  He can do it all - drama, comedy, suspense, thriller.  I've never seen a movie of his that I didn't like.  A few months ago I put up a video on here of Tom doing the dance from Big, which is an excellent example of one of the reasons I like him so much.  He's so exhuberant and forceful and RIGHT THERE in your face.  I love it.  With the assumption that y'all love him as much as I do, I'm going to share my most favorite films of this totally awesome dude. 

Big

Young Joshua finds an ancient fortune telling machine at a fair, makes a wish to be big and BAM - he's big.  Tom Hanks was amazing playing a twelve-year-old stuck in a grown man's body.  He was so believable.  Everyone's favorite scene is the big piano scene, but mine is in the stairwell at school when Josh is trying to prove to Billy that he's really Josh, so he does the little handshake song/dance.  Love it.

A League of Their Own

This movie has been a favorite of mine since it came out in 1992.  With a cast like Hanks, Geena Davis, Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell, who wouldn't love it?  Former pro baseball star Jimmy Dugan is drinking his retirement away, and while the men are all away at war, the baseball bigwigs decide to start a women's league.  Dugan is basically forced to coach, and on his team are the constantly bickering Dottie (Davis) and Kit (Lori Petty), loudmouth Doris (O'Donnell) and sexy party girl Mae (Madonna).  As the girls all come together and start winning games, Dugan starts paying attention.  He and Dottie butt heads a bit since she had taken over leadership while Dugan initially refused to take an active part in coaching.  The two eventually form a friendship, and we follow the team through the season. 

There are an abundance of one-liners in this film that crack me up no matter how many times I watch it.  A surprisingly funny character is Marla Hooch (Megan Cavanagh), the shy, really not pretty, really good player.

The Money Pit

Although this film came out in the 80s, I didn't see it until about five years ago after a friend had quoted it several times.  I figured, Tom Hanks, Shelly Long. Can't be bad.  I loved it!  Walter and Anna, after taking their relationship to the next level (and after Anna's rich boyfriend comes back to take over his apartment) and buy a "fixer upper."  From first glance the house seems to only have a few small problems.  Once the papers are signed and they move in, however, the house starts to fall apart - literally - piece by piece. 

The best scene is when Walter falls through the floor but is caught by the rug and ends up stuck in the hole for hours.  When Anna comes home, he shouts for her but when she's standing in the doorway she can't see him in the floor because a chair is blocking her view.  He keeps yelling, she keeps looking.  It's really a simple scene, but Hanks is hilarious. 

That Thing You Do!

I think even if I weren't a music lover, I'd still love this film (although the soundtrack is awesome.)  Many people don't care for this one at all, though I've never been given a specific reason why.   

Guy Patterson is stuck:  he's a grown man (20s), fought in the war, came home and started working for his father's appliance store.  He's dating a hottie (Charlise Theron) who is as superficial as you can get.  He's acquainted with some former classmates who have a band, although they haven't decided on a name yet.  Guy used to be a drummer for a band, but it had broken up.  This band, made up of Jimmy (Jonathan Schaech) the lead singer, Lenny (Steve Zahn) the guitar and backup vocals, Chad (Giovanni Ribsi) the drummer and the bass player (Ethan Embry - his character was given no name other than T.B. Player), along with Jimmy's girlfriend Faye (Liv Tyler), not in the band but always around. 

The day before a big talent show, Chad falls and breaks his arm, leaving the band without a drummer.  They ask Guy to help, and while practicing they come up with the name The One-ders.  The song they're planning to play is a ballad, but when he starts to play, Guy decides to pick up the tempo.  The song is "That Thing You Do" and it becomes an instant hit, catapulting the band to fame.  Enter Mr. White (Hanks), agent for Playtone Records.  White coaches the guys on how to look and act like stars, and leads them through the craze that follows. 

Zahn has the best lines in this film.  They're hilarious and sarcastic, and he delivers them perfectly. 

Forrest Gump

I know I was a Hanks fan early on, because for my 10th birthday instead of asking my mom for makeup or other 10-year-old fare, I asked for Forrest Gump.  On VHS.  I remember it exactly:  I was having my first ever boy-girl party, and I opened those presents eagerly, saving Mom's for last.  When I got to it, it was a medium-sized box, obviously too large to be a movie.  I unwrapped it dejectedly, opened the box and was shocked to see Forrest Gump nestled inside.  She bought it!  I made everyone stop what they were doing, and essentially put the party on hold, until we had all sat down and watched it.

If you've never seen this film, you either hate Tom Hanks or have been living under a rock.  Forrest (Hanks), from a very young age, was different from everyone else.  He walked funny, so he had to wear braces on his legs.  "Them was my magic shoes. Momma said they'd take me anywhere."  Only one person was his true friend, and that was pretty little Jenny from down the road. 

I love how Forrest, as a grown man, sits on a bench at the bus stop, just telling his story to anyone who comes along.  His story is funny, compelling, sad, embarrassing and romantic, all at the same time.  The supporting cast is excellent as well, with Robin Wright as Jenny,  Sally Fields as Momma (Mrs. Gump), Gary Sinise as Lt. Dan and Mykelti Williamson as Bubba.  It's a fairly long film, but you're captivated for the entirety of it, so you don't really care.  Hanks definitely deserved the Oscar he won for this role.

Hon. Mentions: You've Got Mail, The Green Mile, Saving Private Ryan, Toy Story and Sleepless in Seattle

 Did I miss any of your favorite Hanks films?

Face Punch - it's back, baby!

It's 2011, and the Face Punch is back, ladies and gents.



I've had a gazillion comments from you guys telling me how much you loved - and now miss - the Face Punch posts.  I know a catered-to public is a happy public, and also I'm really in the mood to start bashing celebrities again.  So here we go...




Willow Smith
I know, I know, she's what - eight years old?  I can't help it though, because every time I hear that ridiculous, stupid, AWFUL song about whipping hair around, I just want to take the child, place her in an Amish home and leave her there for a good ten years or so.  I guess I should really be fussing at Momma and Daddy Smith, though.  ATTENTION HOLLYWOOD BABIES: Just because you're a child of celebrities does not mean you automatically have talent.  I'm almost afraid of what the Brangelina brood will attempt to do in the next few years.  Let me guess:  Shiloh will start a line of boyish-looking girl fashions, those boys will be a crime-fighting duo and the twins will have a relationship as uncomfortable to watch as Angie and her freakish brother.  Creepy.





Justin Bieber
He hasn't done anything terribly annoying as of late, but I just want to face punch him for taking up so much of the media for the past year.  I couldn't look at an issue of People magazine without seeing your stupid face, Bieber.  Oh, and doing compilations with other stars doesn't make you look cool, it makes them look pitiful.  They just want a piece of the pie.  Bieber fever, my a$$. And cut your hair, for crying out loud! You look stupid.







Reese Witherspoon
Now, 364 days of the year I have nothing but affection for Reese, but I was very much upset with her when I read that she's engaged to some agent guy after dating him for only ten months.  Um, Reese, you dated Gyllenhaal for like FOUR years and never even considered marrying that delicious piece of man, and now you want to marry average Joe?  I'm disappointed.  Now Jake has moved on to Taylor Swift, and she'll eventually be writing some annoying limerick about how Jake was so fake and can't make good cupcakes.  So two face punches to you:  1 for not hanging on to Jake, and 2 for the future song we'll all be subjected to.  For shame.





Jersey Shore Cast

I've never even watched this show, but I know I don't like it, and I know I never will like it.  Seriously, who has names like Snooki and JWoww?  I couldn't even watch MTV's New Year's Eve coverage because that Snooki chick was hosting.  One word:  trashy.  This is one trend I hope dies fast.  Like Superman fast. 

Heidi Spencer or Pratt or whatever her name is now

Just because I can.


Well that's all I've got for today, but I promise I'll make a genuine effort to do more Face Punch posts on a regular basis.  Love, peace and chicken grease, y'all!

Final Thoughts of 2010: A Recap

Wow, 2010 has been a crazy, fun-filled, full-of-surprises year for me.  I've been unbelievably blessed this year and my family has been as well.  I can't believe tomorrow will be 2011.  I remember being in junior high back in the mid-90s and people would say, "I bet by 2010 we'll be driving flying cars and have robot maids."  Not quite.  Although Joan Rivers is fast becoming creepily similar to Barbie - in her 60s.  I bet she'll be the first robot chick.  With lip injections.

I figured the best way to recap the year is to just list the high points of the year for me.  Some of the events are from other people - sports teams, celebrities, etc., but they all contributed to making this year an awesome one!

January 24, 2010 - NFC Championship game at the Superdome in New Orleans with my New Orleans Saints beating the Minnesota Vikings 31-28 in overtime after Garrett Hartley kicked a beauty of a fieldgoal.  Saints going to the Superbowl for the first time in franchise history!

February 7, 2010 -  My New Orleans Saints beat the Indianapolis Colts 31-17 in Superbowl XLIV.  Who dat! Bless you boys!

 

 

 

February 9 - Parade held in New Orleans celebrating the awesome season of our Saints kicks off Mardi Gras Carnival Time.  Attended too many parades and nearly froze to death in the process, but had a ball.  Laissez les bon temps rouler!

February - Winter Olympics are always fun, but the US tore it up this year! I loved watching Bode Miller, Shaun White, Julia Mancuso, Evan Lysacek, Apollo Ohno and Lindsey Vonn do their thing.  I don't care what the sport is, I'll watch it!

March - Took a short four-day trip to Tennessee to visit the fam, and had a great time.  Went to my most favorite place in the world, Cades Cove. 

April - Made the decision to return to school.  Thought I was crazy.

May 6 - My birthday!

The summer was basically spent with me reading People Magazine and US Weekly, watching Friends and Dexter reruns and wondering if they really would send Lindsay Lohan to jail this time....

August 18 - First day back at school.  I was terrified and thrilled.  So glad I went back!

September 1 - Celebrated my three-year anniversary with the Hubs.  Yay!  I also hit my 100th post milestone that same week. 

September 2 - NCAA Football Season began.  Yes.

September 9 - NFL Season officially begins in the New Orleans Superdome with my Boys hosting the Minnesota Vikings.  My boys won 14-9.  Again, Who Dat!

For most of September, October and November I did a lot of studying and watching football.  That's about it.

December 9 - Took the last final of my first semester back at school, finished out the semester with a 3.68 GPA and made the President's List.  Wohoo!

December has been nothing but Christmas, Christmas, Christmas! 

Had a wonderful time with my family this year, as we do every year.  My girls had an awesome Christmas and received way too many gifts.  We were definitely blessed.

In retrospect, the year was kind of uneventful if you take away the sports excitement.  It was still a good year though.  My babies are healthy, I love my husband, my family is well and all is good in my hood!

What was the best moment of 2010 for you guys?

I wish you all a blessed, wonderful and happy new year! Salud!

Also, a huge THANKS to my guest bloggers for the week.  You guys rock my socks off! Love y'all!

Guest Blog Week Extravaganza: Without Obsession Life Is Nothing

Hey guys, I'm off to the winter wonderland that is Tennessee for the week, and some of my very best blogging buddies have offered to guest post for me.  Be sure to comment and then go check out their blogs and become followers - I promise you won't regret it! 

Today is my last guest blogger, and it's the totally awesome Emily from Without Obsession Life Is Nothing.  She writes about a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but mostly about movies.  I love her affection for John Waters and 80s films, and I'm terribly jealous of her because she met both John Waters and Jeff Goldblum this year!  Be sure to go check out her blog - you'll fall in love with her!

When Jess asked me to do a guest post for her my first thought, I won't lie, was "what the hell am I going to write about?". Both of our blogs are fairly varied, from current events to the trashy eighties movies we both adore with a passion, what was I going to write about to appeal to both of our readers? What was I going to write about to get more people to come to my blog? Truth be told I'm a shameless publicity fiend so the chance to get more readers, well who would turn that down? Why have all of
my sentences so far ended in question marks? Ok, let's move on.

I want to talk to you about opinions. About differences. About what makes us who we
are.

So what makes a person? Is it the things we like, the movies we watch, what political party we support? Personally I'm an atheist and a liberal, some people have described me as an anarchist because of my pretty hardcore views on the way the world should be run. But let's not go into politics because first of all I'd be here all Christmas and second of all I'm sure we don't want to hear about the state of the world at the holiday season, depressing much?

What I'm trying to say is there are many factors that make people who they are and there are always going to be people that disagree with you, always. Seriously though, if everyone agreed with each other what a boring world we would live in. Even though you might have a differing opinion to someone it doesn't mean that you can't be friends, Jess is a Christian and a republican, our religious and political beliefs are polar opposites but that doesn't mean we have to be enemies. People are far too quick to make enemies and slow to make friends, when you look below the surface there's usually something there you can connect with.

That's why this Christmas we should forget about religious differences, political beliefs, who's sports team is better than who's and simply come together as what we are. People. People who believe in the true meaning of Christmas and yeah this is coming from the so-called anarchist Atheist, trust me we're not all bad. Isn't that what this holiday is about, spreading love and good-will to all men regardless of race, nationality or opinion? It's a time for forgetting about feuds, forgetting about the things that someone has said to annoy you if only for one day out of the whole year. So here's to you Bill O'Reilly of FOX News, I disagree with everything you say but I really hope you have a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. See, that wasn't so painful was it?

Guest Blog Week Extravaganza: Twenty-Something Florida Wife

Hey guys, I'm off to the winter wonderland that is Tennessee for the week, and some of my very best blogging buddies have offered to guest post for me.  Be sure to comment and then go check out their blogs and become followers - I promise you won't regret it! 

Today's Guest Blogger:  Brandi over at Twenty-Something Florida Wife.  Brandi shares a great deal about the causes she supports, being a better person and doing more to help others.  She also writes about everyday topics, and all of her posts are interesting, fun and great.  Be sure to check out her blog!

 

Autumn and winter are seasons chock full of holidays and celebrations, both religious and secular, but they all share the idea that we should remember our good fortune, and take the time to share our love and wealth (in all of it’s various forms) with others in our community, be it local or global.  It’s all too easy to forget this aspect of the holidays as we all race around stores, some of us relishing, others of us panicking over the commercialism that has taken over, and I’ve often seen a rushed prayer or other expression of gratitude being but a passing moment in the long season.  Hopefully reading this today will inspire you to drag out that moment of appreciation, just a bit longer, and revisit it all throughout the year.  I’ve come up with a list of luxuries I hope you’re fortunate enough to enjoy, and maybe you’ll feel inspired to help spread some goodness along to someone else.

 

Health.  This seems to be the one we most easily take for granted, only realizing how much we cherish it when we (or the ones we love) are ill.  For most of us in America, it’s a minor inconvenience in our time and financial budgets to get a prescription for antibiotics, or grab pain relievers from a drug store.  Occasionally, far more devastating illnesses and accidents occur in our families; but usually, we are somewhat comforted by the knowledge that skilled physicians and nurses are doing their best to ensure that patients are as comfortable as possible during their treatment. 

 

Not all are so fortunate.  Around the world, children can die from things as simple as diarrhea, and several nations are currently experiencing polio outbreaks.  Even here in America, some genuinely cannot afford their prescriptions, or are too ill for current medical technology to assist.  Sending teddy bears or snuggly blankets to hospitals, or making a donation to an organization that provides access to medicines and immunizations in developing nations can make a big difference in someone else’s life.

 

Love & Family.  Hug your children, parents, partners, siblings, and friends a little closer the next time you see them.  The people who make up your support system helped to make you who you are.  I know so many people that I cannot imagine not having in my life, and I’ll bet you have plenty, too. 

 

Maybe you have room in your life for someone who needs a little love and family.  From adopting a pet (or even making a small contribution to a rescue or sanctuary in your area), to children without families (if fostering or adoption is just not right for you, consider sponsoring a child in need or making a donation to an orphanage in line with your values), to the elderly and disabled in nursing homes, many of whom would love to have a visitor come read to them or share some conversation over lunch.

 

Safety.  So many of us forget how wonderful it is to be able to walk outside of our homes without the fear of being attacked.  In many countries, the simple task of visiting a marketplace can be dangerous.  Even in the US, those without a home of their own are left to fend for themselves in the streets, against the elements and against those who would take advantage of them. 

 

Maybe you can contribute to a local homeless shelter, or spend a few hours a month in a soup kitchen to give some folks a little reprieve.  Or, perhaps, you can help support efforts to stop violence against women in children in war-torn countries.

 

I hope that you have much to enjoy in your life, and I hope that you are grateful for these things.  Just as Loren Eisley’s Star Thrower , you can make a profound difference in the life of another. 

 

I’ll leave you with a list of organizations you may find interesting, and wishes for a happy, healthy, safe, and love filled New Year for you and yours!

 

Heifer International

PlanUSA

Women for Women International

Best Friends Animal Society

Kiva

Teddy Bears That Care