Hollywood Hooplah (with a little bit of Face Punch grouchiness thrown in)

While most of us normal citizens of the world are going about our unimportant little lives, the royalty of Hollywood continuously gives us excellent material for watercooler chats - or, more appropriately, blog posts.  Here's what's happening in the land of the beautiful this week...

Paris Hilton arrested for drugs......again

Looks like Lindsay and Paris are playing Prison Tag.

The infamous hotel heiress was busted last night in Las Vegas with COCAINE.  According to police, a vehicle was spotted with smoke wafting out of it that smelled suspiciously similar to marijuana.  A routine traffic stop revealed Paris and an unnamed male driver enjoying some reefer while they drove aimlessly through the city.  The arresting officer then found a substance in Hilton's pocket that was later determined to be cocaine. 

Wait, don't tell me....she'll use the same line Lohan used: "It wasn't my pants!"

Heidi has a change of......uh.....heart

With the attention from her split with Pratt dying down, the attention whore needed a new subject to whine to the press about, and this is it:  she regrets having her boobs done. 

Heidi has whined to MSN, MTV and anyone else who'll listen about her post-surgical enhancement depression.  She says, and I quote, "I'm desperate to go back to normal......It's heartbreaking. I can't live an everyday life." 

Oh, I'm so sorry that your huge fake boobs make your life miserable, Heidi.  You know, the ones you just HAD to have, along with the new nose and various other alterations.  God forbid you spend your money on a worthy cause, like, say the homeless or starving kids in Indonesia.  Nope, you spend ridiculous amounts of money on surgery to look like a Malibu Barbie, only to change your mind less than a year later. 

On top of this, she's COMPLAINING becauser her plastic surgeon DIED.  Yep, poor Doc dies in a tragic car accident, and all she cares about is that she now has to find a new doctor.  Could she be anymore selfish?

It's the Sean-Jean Battle of Words

Sean Penn is not happy with Wyclef Jean.  Not at all.

Penn made remarks about Jean's attempt to run for President of Haiti when the singer first made his intentions known.  Jean's candidacy bid was refused, which calmed activist Penn down a bit.  Earlier this week, however, Jean announced his plans to fight the decision and do whatever needs to be done to run for President.

Penn has really good points defending his position on the matter - I agree with all of them - which just makes Jean all the more angry and increases the name-calling.  Penn believes that Jean has used his celebrity in a useful way for the earthquake assistance, but that's where it should stop.  He made references to Jean's absense in Haiti during the last six months, as Penn has been there with various other celebrities participating in the relief effort.  Penn feels, as do I, that just because you're a celebrity does not mean you're qualified to run a country. 

Well that's all of the stuff going on in Hollywood right now that's even remotely interesting. 

Toodles!

Lindsay Lohan's going to jail for 90 days. Riiiiiiiiiight.

Lindsay Lohan sentenced to 90 days in jail

Breaking news: another young drunken star sentenced to actual jail time. Lindsay Lohan, Hollywood's resident bad girl for the past few years (well, ever since Paris calmed down and Nicole got knocked up) has finally pushed the legal system to its limit. According to reports, the actress violated her three-year probation by failing to attend a court-ordered alcohol education class.

If we're being honest here, you can't really blame the girl for thinking it would be no big deal if she bailed on the classes. How many celebrities have shirked responsibility and punishment time and time again, only to be slapped on the hand and scolded like a child caught stealing cookies before dinnertime? It's always been understood that if you're famous, the system works differently, more leniently. The rules that apply to the rest of the world simply do not count when you consider the great contribution celebrities make to the world. Ha. Not to mention the exhorbitant amount of money stars pay their attorneys.

We, as the general public, are always shocked to learn about our favorite (or least favorite, in this case) actors, musicians, etc. being sentenced hard time in an actual prison. History shows that usually the star is booked, has a hugely publicized court date/trial and either gets sentenced to "time already served" or around 30 days, of which only 7-14 are served. Not to mention the fact that they never go straight from the courthouse to prison. They get about a month to get their affairs in order before having to report to the correctional facility. That part I never understood. Does Average Joe get to take a month off before turning himself in to Deputy Bob to serve his time? Of course not. So why do all of the celebrities?

Maybe this time the prisoner will actually serve the entirety of the sentence? Doubtful. I'm afraid Lady Justice is not always as blind as she'd like us to think.