Fantabulous Friday

(Caution:  this blog could very well turn into a ranting session.  I apologize in advance.)

Yes indeedy, today was definitely fantabulous.  Personally, I had a great day.  If you had a bad day, here's a big hug from me to make you feel better:

Also, hopefully your day will get better due to the misery of others. 

Misery on Fantabulous Friday, you ask?  Surprisingly, yes.  However, misery for one Lindsay Lohan

makes for fantabulous entertainment for me (and you).  Plus, for once I'm proud of the judicial system in Hollywood. 

After failing a drug test a mere TWO weeks after leaving rehab, Lindsay showed up in court today most likely expecting a slap on the wrist and maybe the judge shaking a finger at her with a halfhearted, "Tsk tsk,"  before being released to rehab for another few weeks.  Much to her dismay, my new hero, Judge Fox, refused to set bail for Miss Lohan and ordered her back to jail until her next court date, over a month away.  My feelings on the matter are simple:

IT'S ABOUT TIME.

I'm sorry, but this whole special treatment for the famous bit is just ridiculous, and frankly I'm glad someone FINALLY put their foot down.  Time and time again these celebrities are given freebies for offenses that would land regular people in prison for months (or possibly years).  Hit and run?  No big deal, just don't do it again.  Arrested for cocaine?  Hey, it happens.  Just take a month off from partying and stay in a luxurious rehab.  Abuse dogs?  No biggie, just spend 21 months in jail, then get out and be paid exhorbitant amounts of money to play football. 

I am sick to death of this crap.  These people are given so many privileges as celebrities.  They have the money to do whatever they want, they can travel all over the world, experience so many things us normal folks only dream about.  Instead of doing something useful, contributing in some way or being a POSITIVE role model for the young impressionable people in the world, they think they're above the law and decide to dabble in drugs, sex tapes and every other scandal they can think of.  They assume they won't be held responsible for their actions because - let's face it - celebrities are hardly ever held responsible.

Don't get me wrong here.  I actually think Lindsay Lohan is talented.  I thought she was adorable in The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday.  I also LOVE Mean Girls.  The girl has a gift, and she insists on wasting it by spending most of her time high or drunk.  It's a sad, sad shame. 

Hopefully she'll actually learn a lesson this time. 

Face Punch

Happy Saturday, people.  Did you sleep in this morning?

 I did.  It was everything I'd hoped it would be. 

Even though I had coffee this morning and am in a pretty great mood, today still feels like a face punch day. 

I figure you can punch faces and still be chipper.  Not to mention that if I were actually able to punch these people in the face, I'd find myself in an even more cheery mood afterward. 

So, in that spirit, here we go....

KANYE WEST

I know I'm going to have to get in line for this one, but this guy just grates my nerves.   

My first problem with you, Kanye, is that 99% of the time you look like an imbecile.  I know you think you're making fashion statements, but in reality you just look stupid.

My second problem is you thinking that just because you've made money as a singer, that means you're wise and we should all just do what you say, no questions asked.  The biggest example of this is the Taylor Swift fiasco that happened last year, although that wasn't the first time (and most likely not the last) you've made an ass out of yourself in public.  

The last and most important problem - to me, anyway - is that I don't like you.  I don't like your face, your voice, your music, any of it.  You are just a passing phase, and I'm hoping it will fade out quickly. 

LINDSAY LOHAN

I think at this point, you deserving a face punch is the general consensus.

You have had everything - and I mean everything  - handed to you on a silver platter since you were, what, twelve?  Fame, fortune, fans, and every other "f" word associated with being a celebrity.

Then you go and turn stupid.  Drunk driving, drug use, basic downward spiral.  Crash and burn.  It would be quite sad if you weren't so annoying.   You look like an Aerosmith roadie.  Wash your hair.  Put on some clothes that fit.  Maybe eat something once or twice a week. 

Of course, you'll have to make these adjustments after serving time in county lockup.  Maybe a big scary jailmate will face punch you and save me the trouble...

MEL GIBSON

Okay Mel, I've always been a fan of yours.  Loved you in Braveheart, What Women Want, Forever Young,  the Lethal Weapon movies, The Patriot, etc.  So many movies, so many years. 

Then you go and RUIN your reputation by going on racist rants - not once, but twice (that we know of) - in recent years.  What's the deal, Mel?  We all have prejudices, but we don't get drunk and ramble on about them when there's a camera present. Other than The Hoff, that is...

I just have to ask:  are you stupid?  I'm starting to think yes.  Well, we're past thinking.  I know you're stupid.  You've made me lose respect for you, and as such, you deserve a massive face punch. 

BP

You are a major disappointment.  Huge.  Monumental.  Massive.  FAIL. 

Obviously I can't say I want to face punch Mr. President, because then I'd have the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security and MSNBC tracking my blog, waiting for me to make verbal threats and discussing my ability (JUST KIDDING ) to turn household products into items that go boom.  So we'll just say tsk tsk to you, Obama.

As for you, you money-crazed, life-killing, coast-destroying, seafood ruining people:

GARGANTUAN FACE PUNCH.

There, now I feel better.

Lindsay Lohan's going to jail for 90 days. Riiiiiiiiiight.

Lindsay Lohan sentenced to 90 days in jail

Breaking news: another young drunken star sentenced to actual jail time. Lindsay Lohan, Hollywood's resident bad girl for the past few years (well, ever since Paris calmed down and Nicole got knocked up) has finally pushed the legal system to its limit. According to reports, the actress violated her three-year probation by failing to attend a court-ordered alcohol education class.

If we're being honest here, you can't really blame the girl for thinking it would be no big deal if she bailed on the classes. How many celebrities have shirked responsibility and punishment time and time again, only to be slapped on the hand and scolded like a child caught stealing cookies before dinnertime? It's always been understood that if you're famous, the system works differently, more leniently. The rules that apply to the rest of the world simply do not count when you consider the great contribution celebrities make to the world. Ha. Not to mention the exhorbitant amount of money stars pay their attorneys.

We, as the general public, are always shocked to learn about our favorite (or least favorite, in this case) actors, musicians, etc. being sentenced hard time in an actual prison. History shows that usually the star is booked, has a hugely publicized court date/trial and either gets sentenced to "time already served" or around 30 days, of which only 7-14 are served. Not to mention the fact that they never go straight from the courthouse to prison. They get about a month to get their affairs in order before having to report to the correctional facility. That part I never understood. Does Average Joe get to take a month off before turning himself in to Deputy Bob to serve his time? Of course not. So why do all of the celebrities?

Maybe this time the prisoner will actually serve the entirety of the sentence? Doubtful. I'm afraid Lady Justice is not always as blind as she'd like us to think.