Movie Preview Wishlist

Since having babies, I hardly ever have free time to go to the movies, but there are a few coming out in the next few months that I am determined to see. 


Vampires Suck

I loved the Twilight novels, hated the first Twilight movie, thought New Moon was okay and enjoyed Eclipse.  I still can't stand Kristen Stewart, though, so anything mocking her is welcomed entertainment.  Besides all of that, I just love spoof movies.



Eat Pray Love

Although generally I'm iffy about films based on books because half of the time they're just huge disappointments, I love love LOVE Julia Roberts and will watch anything she's in.  The soundtrack sounds like a good one too. 



Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Ah, Michael Cera, how I adore thee.   This movie just looks awesomely funny.  Plus, I love weird.  (NOTE:  The tagline for this film is "An epic of epic epicness."  I love it.)


Red

Bruce Willis.  Morgan Freeman.  Helen Mirren.  John Malkovich.  Mary-Louise Parker.  Need I say more?

Fantabulous Friday

Well, it appears we've survived another week.

Barely.

In celebration of another week gone by, it's time to make note of the fantabulous, and today I'm going with videos. *All videos will be from Youtube.*




First up is one I'm "borrowing" from a gal's blog I follow called It's All Random (it's a really great blog, so you should go check her out and click the "Follow" button!). On Tuesday her post was entitled "Youtube Tuesday" (catchy, isn't it?) and featured two videos - one from television show "The Office" and another that it was based on. Although the video from "The Office" was funny, the original made me laugh - and cry, strangely - and I watched it at least three times. Then when the hubby got home I made him watch it too. It's simply FANTABULOUS.

Next up is the chick who thought she'd surprise her husband with a self-installed stripper pole:

Here is the 100 Best Movie Quotes in 200 seconds. Not that I love all 100 of them, but they got the majority right!

Lastly, a collection of some of Jim Carrey's best moments. He's one of my favorite comedians. (My mother hates him, though she won't give me a straight answer as to why.)

Hope you enjoyed the FANTABULOUS videos!

Peace out.

Backpack Breakdown

Since school starts in twenty days (!!!), I decided it might be a good idea to start thinking about a bookbag.   I thought it would be easy.

Wrong.

Do you know how many options there are now?  It's backpack-a-palooza on L.L. Bean's website, and apparently Amazon also got the memo.  I'm not the most decisive person by any means, and when given too many alternatives, I tend to get overwhelmed. So now thanks to Mr. Bean and company, I have all of these options floating around in my head:

I can get the old-school backpack

 

which now comes in a variety of designs (original, original plus, original deluxe). 

There's the booksack for the student who might occasionally get a whim to go hiking

There's Critter packs (are people bringing their pets to school now?)

Quad packs

Turbo transit packs (makes me think Autobots! Transform and roll out!)

Apex packs

and Messenger Bags

These are all just by L.L. Bean.  I was afraid to look anywhere else.

Since I'd like to think of myself as up-to-speed on style, I'm favoring the messenger bag.  The bag doesn't look that roomy, though, and I worry that it won't hold everything I need.   The kid in me would like the original LL Bean (in a larger size) in that bright red, with my initials in a cute little diamond shape. 

You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. 

Then on Amazon I saw a messenger bag that was super-cute

for $319.  The hubby didn't even say anything when I showed it to him.  He just started laughing.  I didn't think it was funny. 

Decisions, decisions.

I guess I could always just use my daughter's Elmo backpack if need be.

Abnormal News Day

Looks like there's a new type of terrorist in town: ants.

Yes, the little bugs that live in mounds and eat your food at picnics.

According to ecologist Mark Moffett, he has proof that some ants are "suicide bomber" ants. 

I know, I was shocked too.  

Supposedly these ants are fed up with the insect government and have begun strolling into bug banks and schools with sticks of dynamite strapped to their chests. 

I kid. 

What this genius did was find a tree that was home to these angry ants.  He set a trap for other ants by spreading honey along the trunk.  Then he waited.

And waited.

Finally another species of ant and his buddies caught wind of the honey and decided to wander up the tree to find the source.  The first ant made it out alive, but only barely.  To quote the scientist: "That one would live another day."  How dramatic.  The second ant - an idiotic fellow - wandered up the tree next and got a wee bit too close to crazy ant. 

Crazy ant went all ninja and made herself "detonate,"  effectively killing her and the unfortunate dummy as well.  Our scientist was quick-draw McGraw and got a picture of the massacre. 

The yellow stuff is toxic

Dr. Brilliant described the scene: "Just as I clicked the shutter there was a splash of yellow, and both ants were immobilized in a sticky, grotesque tableau." 

Indeed. 

Moffett goes on to describe other species of ant that have the ability to flatten their heads, kill off entire groups of themselves at a time, and make their limbs detach at will.

So, next time you come across an ant, BEWARE.  They just might blow snot on you. 

You can read the entire article here .

Literary Lovin'

I woke up this morning, fixed a cup of coffee and logged into my various internet accounts:  Hotmail, Blogger, Facebook, 20sb.  A new photo album published on Facebook by a young girl from my church caught my attention, so I browsed through the pics, then took a look at her profile.  As I read the lists of favorite movies, books, music, etc., I was appalled.  When did Twilight become the absolute favorite book (series), and all other literary classics (ie: gold) become necessary evils of school reading lists?

(Editor's Note:  I do, in fact, own the Twilight Saga, and have read it numerous times.  That doesn't make it my favorite.)

It's disappointing that kids have no desire to read wonderful pieces of literary art anymore.  When I was a teen, I read classics over and over again, astounded at how an author described the characters in such a way that I developed an image of them in my head.  The stories unfolded like a movie in my mind, and I cherished them all.  Now you can only get a kid to read F. Scott Fitzgerald if their English grade is dependent upon it.

Shameful.

So, in my own form of protest, I've decided to list my ten favorite novels of all time in the hopes that young people will be inspired to go to the library or bookstore and read something other than Harry Potter or Twilight.

NOTE:  I'm not including The Bible in this list, because - in my opinion - everyone should own a Bible and read it often.  

Also, you won't find The Hobbit, 1984, Animal Farm or Of Mice and Men on this list, because although they're considered classics, I hated them.  Every stinkin' page. 

So, here we go....

10. Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice

The book that inspired the movie that started the original vampire craze. No lovey-dovey vampire/human relationships in this book.   

  

9. The Hot Zone by Richard Preston

A true story about the incurable Ebola virus.   Stephen King himself described it as "one of the most horrifying things I've ever read." The film "Outbreak" was loosely based on this book.

8. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Battles of wit between independent Elizabeth Bennet and the charmingly cocky Mr. Darcy.  A lovely literary classic, entertaining from start to finish.

7. Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk

Multiple personality disorders, a secret society and extremist organization run amuck in this awesome book later turned into a film starring Brad Pitt and Ed Norton.

6. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

A story about sisters, feminism, individuality, hardships, love and family.

5. The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer

A collection of short stories - all entertaining.  The movie "A Knight's Tale" is based on one of the stories and two other characters.

 

4. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis 

Investment banker by day.  Raping, murdering obssessive-compulsive 80s music buff by night.

Also inspired a movie starring Christian Bale.

3. A Density of Souls by Christopher Rice

The first novel by Anne Rice's son, a gripping and dark look into the lives of four childhood friends torn apart - and eventually brought back together - by alcohol, sex, homosexuality and tragedy. 

2. The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory

Excellently written story of Mary Boleyn, lover of King Henry VII, and the competition with her sister Anne.  Not completely historically accurate, but still a wonderful read. (Also much better than the movie, as usual.) 

1. The Great Gatsbyby F. Scott Fitzgerald

Bachelor Nick rents a home between two mansions, and after observing the aristocrats inside, becomes wrapped up in a world of unrequited love, mysteries and murder.  The Great Gatsby is considered by many to be a fictional examination of the "American Dream" (the 1920s version, that is).

One of the best books ever written, and my personal favorite. 

For need of sharing, I've also included a few "honorable mentions" for you guys:

That's all, folks.  Now go to your library, check a few of these out and enjoy!

Movie Delight Monday

Yes sirree, it's that time again.  Monday.  Ugh.

Starting a new week, lugging along, just waiting for Wednesday - because we all know once you reach Hump Day the rest is easy peasy. 

In accordance to the previous declaration of a heretofore mentioned appointment of assigned days of blogging (you can be impressed, it's okay), today has been deemed

MOVIE DELIGHT MONDAY.

Just makes you feel all tingly inside, doesn't it?

So, today I present to you one of my favorite 90s movies:

Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep and Bruce Willis star in this delightfully dark comedy about frenemies and the man they both loved. 

Helen Sharp is a smart, plain-Jane woman, who brings dorky fiance' Dr. Ernest Menville to meet her best friend Madeline Ashton, a blonde singer/actress.  Madeline woos Ernest away from Helen, and Helen turns into a fat,  icing-eating slob with dozens of cats.  Obsessed with revenge, Helen makes some changes...

Years later Madeline and Ernest, stuck in a loveless relationship, are reunited with the new-and-improved Helen. An affair, murder plots and hilarity ensue.

Bruce Willis is wonderfully dense as Dr. Menville, and Streep and Hawn are entertaining to say the least.  This film had great special effects for early 90s production, and director Robert Zemeckis did an excellent job.   

NOTE TO PARENTS:  There are boobies shown in this film, and adult humor throughout.

The Wedding Singer....and all that jazz

Last night myself and three girlfriends went to see the musical "The Wedding Singer" (based on the Adam Sandler movie) at Le Petit Theatre in New Orleans.  It was my first time seeing a musical that wasn't a high school or university production. 

Le Petit Theatre

The evening started out with the four of us beyond excited - not only to be seeing the musical, but to be having a girls' night out.  Three of us have children, and the fourth runs a daycare, so it was like a vacation to be away from the kids (and the men) for the night. 

We drove to Metairie - which, if you're like me, is the same as New Orleans (I consider everything south of Lake Pontchartrain New Orleans) - and had dinner at Mexican restaurant Chevy's. Yum.   After that we made our way to the French Quarter, where Le Petit Theatre is located.   We spent about thirty minutes trying to find parking, and ended up almost missing the beginning of the show.  Luckily we made it just in time.

Le Petit Theatre is a charming little place that sits near the famed St. Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square. 

St. Louis Cathedral

The Cathedral is one of my most favorite buildings to look at, so I had to include a picture of it for you.  I could stand out in the square and just admire it all day.  It's especially beautiful right as the sun is setting, and the sky above is varied colors of red, orange and purple.  Amazing.

But anyhoo, back to the theatre.

The full name of the theatre is Le Petit Theatre du Vieux Carre, and it was founded in 1917.  It is currently in its 94th season of productions, making it the oldest continuously operating community theatre in the nation.  Pretty impressive, huh?

When you first walk into the building, a massive - and beautiful - chandelier grabs your attention.  The lobby is decorated in a way that is somehow both current and reflective of its history. Then you head up the creaking staircase, and onto the balcony to be seated....

The theatre was much smaller than I anticipated, but it's not bothersome because you just feel a sense of intimacy about the room.  Someone commented that no matter where you sit - floor or balcony - you have a great view of the stage, and I believe it.  Our seats were excellent.  Second row, center. 

A glance around the theater showed signs of how very old it is.  The vents in the ceiling are stained with black, and pieces of the ceiling are crumbling or missing.  Everything about the place screams old, but it's so absolutely charming that the age just makes it that much better. 

The actors were fabulous, especially characters Robbie (lead), George (cross-dressing friend) and an unnamed black man who at one point wore a strapless silver dress and stilettos - and DANCED in them!  I was impressed. 

It was wonderful. Every song, dance, costume change, set change. All of it was utterly fabulous. I know I must have grinned throughout the entire two and a half hour show, because my face still hurts this morning.


I wasn't expecting to laugh nearly as much, and I certainly didn't expect so much of my amusement to be a result of nearby audience members.  There was a yuppy group, of which "mom" didn't realize that George was a man until about halfway through the show, then wanted to know "why is that man wearing girl clothes, and why is he dancing with the black man?"  To which her son replied, "Mom, they're gay."  "Oh," was her reply.  (Note:  George was obviously a man, and very obviously gay.)

All in all, the entire night was wonderful, and us girls decided to make a tradition out of it.  Every other month or so we will go to dinner and a theatre production.  We've already planned the next outing:  "Hairspray" will be playing at Le Petit in September.  I can't wait!

Face Punch

Happy Saturday, people.  Did you sleep in this morning?

 I did.  It was everything I'd hoped it would be. 

Even though I had coffee this morning and am in a pretty great mood, today still feels like a face punch day. 

I figure you can punch faces and still be chipper.  Not to mention that if I were actually able to punch these people in the face, I'd find myself in an even more cheery mood afterward. 

So, in that spirit, here we go....

KANYE WEST

I know I'm going to have to get in line for this one, but this guy just grates my nerves.   

My first problem with you, Kanye, is that 99% of the time you look like an imbecile.  I know you think you're making fashion statements, but in reality you just look stupid.

My second problem is you thinking that just because you've made money as a singer, that means you're wise and we should all just do what you say, no questions asked.  The biggest example of this is the Taylor Swift fiasco that happened last year, although that wasn't the first time (and most likely not the last) you've made an ass out of yourself in public.  

The last and most important problem - to me, anyway - is that I don't like you.  I don't like your face, your voice, your music, any of it.  You are just a passing phase, and I'm hoping it will fade out quickly. 

LINDSAY LOHAN

I think at this point, you deserving a face punch is the general consensus.

You have had everything - and I mean everything  - handed to you on a silver platter since you were, what, twelve?  Fame, fortune, fans, and every other "f" word associated with being a celebrity.

Then you go and turn stupid.  Drunk driving, drug use, basic downward spiral.  Crash and burn.  It would be quite sad if you weren't so annoying.   You look like an Aerosmith roadie.  Wash your hair.  Put on some clothes that fit.  Maybe eat something once or twice a week. 

Of course, you'll have to make these adjustments after serving time in county lockup.  Maybe a big scary jailmate will face punch you and save me the trouble...

MEL GIBSON

Okay Mel, I've always been a fan of yours.  Loved you in Braveheart, What Women Want, Forever Young,  the Lethal Weapon movies, The Patriot, etc.  So many movies, so many years. 

Then you go and RUIN your reputation by going on racist rants - not once, but twice (that we know of) - in recent years.  What's the deal, Mel?  We all have prejudices, but we don't get drunk and ramble on about them when there's a camera present. Other than The Hoff, that is...

I just have to ask:  are you stupid?  I'm starting to think yes.  Well, we're past thinking.  I know you're stupid.  You've made me lose respect for you, and as such, you deserve a massive face punch. 

BP

You are a major disappointment.  Huge.  Monumental.  Massive.  FAIL. 

Obviously I can't say I want to face punch Mr. President, because then I'd have the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security and MSNBC tracking my blog, waiting for me to make verbal threats and discussing my ability (JUST KIDDING ) to turn household products into items that go boom.  So we'll just say tsk tsk to you, Obama.

As for you, you money-crazed, life-killing, coast-destroying, seafood ruining people:

GARGANTUAN FACE PUNCH.

There, now I feel better.

Fantabulous Friday

That's right, baby.  It's FRIDAY (chicka chicka yeah)  yet again.  I'm psyched.  Are you?

Of course you are. 

My weekend plans are already fantabulous - despite a potential hurricane - and, as such, today is fantabulous. Expectation can be such a mood booster. 

So today (and every Friday, as per last week's post) I will present you with some of what I consider the most FANTABULOUS things/people/foods/places in the world. 

Are you ready for this? 

Here we go.

1.  Friends reruns

This particular episode depicted in the picture is one of my favorite episodes of Friends.  Ever. (The one with the embryos)

It doesn't matter how many times I've seen Ross, Rachel and Joey moving the couch up the stairs with Ross screaming, "Pivot! Pivot! PIVOT!"  I still laugh hysterically.  I've seen the series all the way through at least four times, not counting the hundreds of episodes I've watched on TBS (very funny).

Friends is also great therapy when you're having a bad day (or week).  It's hard to not be in a good mood after watching a few episodes.
 
Now that I've mentioned Friends,  I may have to blog about my favorite episodes sometime soon..... (Note to self.)

2. Pad Thai

 If you've never tried Thai food (or if you have and found it too spicy) I insist you try Pad Thai.  I was iffy about even going to a Thai restaurant, but last summer my bestie insisted I didn't know what I was missing.    Well, since my motto is to try everything once, I had no choice.  Mo recommended the chicken pad thai.  I took one bite, and it was magical.  The sky opened up and light shone down from Heaven.  Angels began to sing softly while little butterflies and fairies flew around sprinkling glitter on my head. 

Okay, maybe it wasn't that dramatic, but close.  I ended up going back again the next day. 

You can also buy the make-your-own boxes of it at grocery stores.  All you need to add is an egg, bean sprouts and the meat of your choice.  It's not too spicy, but still has the Thai flavor to it.  I could live on this stuff alone.  It's delicious.  Nay, it's FANTABULOUS.

3. Michael J. Fox

I started thinking about this eternal optimist yesterday after (finally) watching Teen Wolf for the first time - thanks Sara for recommending it - and how incredibly awesome this dude is. 

Of course, he's cool because he's been Marty McFly, Alex Keaton, Dr. Benjamin Stone (in Doc Hollywood, one of my favorite MJF movies) and even Stuart Little -the voice, not the mouse.

What makes him fantabulous is the way he's dealt with Parkinson's disease.  He's been determined to continue working, as well as raise awareness and money for research on his illness (See his Foundation for Parkinson's Research website here.)  He's got the warmest personality, and even if you've never met him, to watch him on television or in movies is to feel like you know him. 

Right on, Scott Howard.  Right on. 


4..  Demotivational Posters

From sarcastic to raunchy (and even sometimes really offensive), these pictures can keep you entertained for a good hour.  Even longer if you're at work.

I wish there was an iPhone app for these things.  (Maybe there is....I should get on that ASAP.)

If you get bored, search "demotivational posters" on Google. The best I've seen are "mooseknuckle" and anything related to Chuck Norris, emo or ugly.  Please check it out.  You won't be sorry!



I couldn't come up with more today because.....well, honestly, do you people think I have nothing better to do than write blogs? 

Okay, so usually I don't have anything better to do.  Tomorrow is an exception, though - going to see The Wedding Singer musical with three FANTABULOUS girlfriends of mine! - and I'm way too excited to think about much else.  You'll forgive me later, I know you will.  At least I hope so.  If not, I can always buy presents...

If E.T. shows up, we'll be ready. Well, not really...

While perusing MSN this morning, a headline caught my attention: 

"How prepared are we for an alien invasion?"

Really?  On MSNBC, this is considered a top story.  Of course I just had to read the article.

So here's the dealio:

Chinese government is looking into unidentified flying objects that interrupted 18 flights last week.  Obviously, it had to be aliens.

Because of this incident, the writer thought of a question he deemed brilliant (cough -crazy person- cough).  His question:  Do we have an alien-contact contingency plan?

I know, I laughed too. 

First, who comes up with a name like that for a plan?  I'd call it "ET texting plan" or "Alien conversation plan."  (Okay, maybe those aren't the best names, but it's early and I've only had one cup of coffee.  Give me a break.)

According to our conspiracy theorist dependable news source, the U.S. Government actually has a plan in the event of alien contact.  I'm just going to quote the article here, because I couldn't write a summary any funnier than it already is:

"The protocol, adopted in 1989, is that if someone detects a radio signal seemingly indicating that we're not alone, he should get in touch with SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) researchers, who will help him verify whether the signal is really and truly evidence of extraterrestrial intelligence. At that point, he should notify the International Astronomical Union as well as the United Nations and relevant research organizations. On the finders-keepers principle, the discoverer would get to make the first public announcement, but data should be made available to the international scientific community. (Source coordinates, however, would be kept secret, to avoid a situation in which anyone with a radio telescope could start up a conversation.) The next step would be figuring out whether a response signal were warranted and, if so, what message to send—a process that would involve not just scientists but other experts and government appointees. Probably something very simple would be best, like numbers in binary code."


Finders-keepers principle?   Man, I love our government. 

Add a clip from a television show and a quote from Stephen Hawking, and our writer is convinced that if we ever actually do encounter aliens, it will be the prelude to a war that we will effectively lose.  Hurrah. 

Although he did use the term "guerilla warfare," so I have to give at least a little street cred. 

I say if aliens ever show up, we just call Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum and Bill Pullman in to handle it. 

"Now that's what I call a close encounter." 

Abnormal News Day

I read regular news every day, and it's just entirely too depressing. Natural disasters, economic depression, murder, war, blahbety blah.

Sheesh.

Makes you seriously consider want to lock your doors and just stay inside. As long as you have satellite television, a cell phone and internet access, anyway.

And, of course, Doritos and sour cream.*

Which I do.

Thankfully, MSNBC provides a "Weird News" section to their website, and it has become my favorite news source. This giant corporation actually pays people to travel the world, searching for 911-dialing dogs, two-headed animals and really hairy men. It's fantabulous, really.

So, this morning as I was reviewing the weird news of the world, it was brought to my attention - via the large print and slide-show preview to the right of the page - that MSN actually does Weird Science Awards. No. Freaking. Way.

Well, of course I have to share my discovery with you. (I won't show all award-winners here, but check the link at the bottom of this post and it will direct you to MSNBC's page.) Off we go...

BREAKING NEWS:
In a German zoological vote, it has been deemed acceptable for homosexual penguins to adopt and raise babies.


Not really. You did make one of those WHAT?! faces after reading that though, didn't you?


Story goes like this: momma penguin hatches egg but wants to focus on her career and daddy penguin is a dead-beat, so they abandon baby penguin. Concerned for the fetus, zookeepers take a chance and place egg in cage of a known gay penguin couple.

That's right, folks. Gay penguin couple.


And how do they know said penguins are Boy George-ing it? Well apparently the boys were caught trying to mate. Naughty, naughty.


As was hoped, the happy couple incubated the egg for a month, then proceeded to care for the newborn penguin after it hatched.


(I'm not making this stuff up. Well, maybe the part about mom penguin and dad penguin, but the rest is true.)

Apparently scientists have found a way to grow bunny....ahem....parts. (Yes, the x-ray picture above is, in fact, a hare's one-eyed monster.)

I was a tad confused by this one, because 1) aren't there already enough reproducing rabbits in the world? and 2) can't a few competent males handle the existence of baby bunnies everywhere? I mean, the phrase "hump like rabbits" must have had some literal reference.

Either way, cheers to you, Bugs Bunny. Getcha some.

Researchers in Nevada discovered a blob (no, not the Blob. I just wanted to use that picture) of substance-dripping rock just hanging out about 50 miles beneath the surface. It's supposedly 60 miles wide, but scientists aren't concerned with it busting through the ground and taking over Las Vegas. At least, that's what they want us to think....

After decades of believing da Vinci's muse Mona Lisa to be a shy and somewhat unwilling model, a new discovery has us reconsidering. It looks like miss Mona was actually a foxy little thing. Supposedly hidden for almost a century within the walls of a library, the above painting shows a topless model bearing striking resemblance to the famed painted lady.

If these piqued your interest, be sure to check out the 69ing bats, glow-in-the-dark puppies and other abnormalities at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34712701/ns/technology_and_science-science

*If you've never tried Doritos and sour cream, I suggest you stop reading immediately, get in your car, drive to the nearest store, buy some and try it. It will ROCK.YOUR.WORLD.