Face Punch

Hey, y'all.  It's HUMP DAY, and I'm super-thrilled about it because after today I'm on Fall Break until next Monday from school.  Awesomeness. 

For my Face Punch topic today, I've picked something that is just completely appalling to me.  I was so disgusted and disappointed when I heard this story on Kidd Kraddick's show Monday morning.  I found the story that I knew would show up on MSNBC, which only made me more angry.

Here's the deal:

A Tennessee home caught fire after a man's grandson lost control of a fire he had going in the backyard.  The local firefighters were called, and they came to the scene but REFUSED TO PUT THE FIRE OUT. 

Why?

Because the man had failed to pay a $75 "fire coverage" fee. 

Are you kidding me? 

At first they wouldn't even respond to the 911 call, but then they realized the man's neighbors had paid their fees - of course they had to be on hand in case the fire spread to the covered residents. 

The man begged firefighters to put the flames out, telling them he'd pay whatever he had to, but they refused.  His home burned to the ground, and they lost three dogs and a cat. 

The state of Tennessee should be outraged at the county's poor handling of such a devastating situation.  I'd fire every single one of those firefighters, and the idiots in charge of the whole thing.  THEN I'd use state money to rebuild the damaged home. 

You, Obion County fire people, get a gargantuan face punch:

I'm Versatile....who knew?

The awesome John Smith gave me the Versatile Blogger award.

He blogs about writing, and gives great tips and ideas on things like character and plot development, as well as the occasional random post. Check him out, you'll love his stuff! (Thanks so much, John! I appreciate the encouragement!)

The rules of acceptance of this fantabulous award are as follows:

1) Thank and link back to the person who gave me this award.

2) Tell everyone 7 things about myself

3) Pass this award to 15 other bloggers

4) Contact the bloggers that I've picked and tell them about the award

I've already said thanks to John, but again, THANK YOU JOHN! You rock!

Here's seven (7) things about me you never knew:

1. Back in the 90s I memorized the dance to N'Sync's "I Want You Back" and I still remember it. I even
bust it out occasionally when the mood strikes me.
2. I can sing four songs in Spanish.
3. I wish I could shave my head and not look ridiculous.
4. I hate fairs; they creep me out.
5. I once won a spelling bee with the word "hyperbole."
6. I tried to read Helter Skelter three years ago, but it scared me so much that I couldn't finish it (that's the
only book I've been unable to finish). I've since been hesitant to try again.
7. Halloween is my most favorite horror movie, but Michael Myers frightens me more than any other villian.

Now to pass this award on to 15 people....

These are the folks who I feel are the most versatile and entertaining:

Heather
Nicole
Emily
Roberta
Novie
Alice
Cole
Kate
Lydia
Molly
Amy
Annah
Emy
Jumble
Violet

I love reading y'all's stuff! Keep it up, guys.

Also, my BBBF (Blogging Best Bud Forever), Jumble Mash, also gave me an award today!

I just freaking love you!


Toodles!

Movie Delight Monday

Happy Monday, y'all. 

Last week I was having a case of the Mondays, and bailed on my usual Movie Delight Monday.  However, today I'm determined to have a good day, which means we're back on schedule.

Today's selection is one of the most unusual films I've covered, but one of the biggest as far as cult followings go:

The first time I saw this movie I was maybe seven or eight, and it scared the bejeezus out of me.   I mean seriously, if these guys

don't scare a child, then I'd be concerned about their mental health.

So, the film stars a handful of mostly unknowns with the exception of the unfailingly grumpy John Vernon, who plays Chief Curtis Mooney.

Story goes like this:  two young horny kids are getting their cuddle on one night when they see what first appears to be a comet.  Closer inspection reveals a circus tent full of frightening clowns intent on taking everyone captive, turning them into human cotton candy balls, sticking straws in them and sucking their blood out.

I know.

They have quite a few tricks up their sleeves, like shadow puppet talents that can actually kill people and popcorn that turns into freakishly scary mini clown head things. 

CREEPY.

The clowns begin terrorizing the town, killing residents by the handful, all the while Chief Mooney is ignoring cries for help.  (Don't worry, he gets his due.)  Horny couple and deputy Dave are the only ones who can stop the killer klowns, so they take their friends' ice cream truck (again, I know) and begin their counter-attack.

I won't give you details, but it all ends in massive amounts of ice cream toppings. 

If all this post has done is make you thoroughly confused, check out the original trailer below. 



The chaos that is college football.

If you aren't a college football fan, then just disregard this post because it's all about the NCAA.  

Also, if you happened to miss the LSU-Tennessee game today, I highly suggest you go on ESPN or Fox Sports or YouTube (or just watch ESPN's football wrap up later tonight).  Why, you ask?  Because the few seconds AFTER the end of the game were craziness.  Yes, after. 

A little bit of info about my Tigers:

(Note:  I refer to the LSU Tigers as "we" because, like all LSU fans, I consider myself part of the team.  I know it's a bit ridiculous, but you'd have to be an SEC fan to understand.)

LSU is having an awful year.  We are, in fact, undefeated.  It's all a mirage though, because on paper there's no way we should be.  We have an immature, finicky quarterback who tends to be careless with passes.  We also have a coach who is the worst time manager in the history of college football.  Our defense is one of the best in the nation, which is how we've managed to keep getting Ws.  There are a few great offensive players, but they can't do much with an inept quarterback and idiot coach.

Here's how it went down:

LSU struggled offensively throughout the entire game.  Four - count 'em, FOUR - turnovers, an obscene amount of penalties and terrible time management found my Tigers down by four points with about a minute left.  We've got backup quarterback Lee in, and our guys are moving down the field.  For some reason unknown to us, Coach Miles puts Jefferson back in (which prompts a loud "Boo" from the stands).  A penalty against Tennessee puts us on the TWO YARD LINE, and it looks like we're about to pull off a win.  Then the clock starts moving again, and our quarterback is roaming around on the field like a lost second-grader at the zoo. 

The hubs and I are screaming at the television as the clock ticks down...5...4..3... FINALLY our guy snaps the ball, which proceeds to fly over Jefferson's head and he's chasing it down as time expires.  We lost.  WE LOST!?  We were RIGHT THERE.  On the TWO YARD LINE.  What an idiot! 

Tennessee players are rushing the field and the TN coach is making his way across the field for the obligatory handshake with Miles.  LSU fans are making their way out of the stadium dejectedly. 

Oh, I'm mad.  I'm stomping around the living room grumbling about Les Miles being the worst coach in the history of the world and if LSU doesn't fire him I'm going to take my big behind to his house and fire him myself.....

"Wait! There's a penalty!"  the hubs begins swatting at my arm in excitement.   I look back at the tv, not daring to feel any hope that there is some miraculous intervention by the good Lord Himself taking place.  Unfortunately for Tennessee, they can't count.  The commentators freeze the replay and count the number of defenders on the line when LSU snapped the ball before time expired.  They had THIRTEEN guys on the field (for you non-football folks, you can only have eleven)!  This means LSU gets a free play with no time on the clock.  One play.  One opportunity. 

And wouldn't you know it, the skies opened up, angels descended from heaven and our boys made the touchdown.  LSU wins 16-14. 

WHEW.

I'm still in shock.  That was craziness.  Did Tennessee earn the win?  Yep.  Did LSU deserve to lose?  Certainly.  However, we still got the W.  I'll take it.

Fantabulous Friday

I can't tell you how completely thrilled I am that Friday has finally arrived.  This week has been an exhausting one.  Some of the exhaustion was my fault (a Sunday adventure in New Orleans, the Britney episode on Glee - which caused much excitement at my house - a football game viewing at my Alma mater - which they lost. Embarrassingly badly), but most of it was school.  I have yet more exams next week AND the week after that.  I love school.  I love school.  I love school.  I love school.  Nope, still not working...

ANYHOO, on a much brighter -and much more entertaining - note, today's fantabulous topic is the brainchild of one of the coolest dudes in the blogsphere.  The totally fantabulous Cole Garrett over at Dry Humor Daily has thought up a pretty nifty idea, and I'm going to share it with you guys because I was immediately eager to jump on board and join in on something that is sure to catch on like syphilis....er...I mean....like something totally non-STD-related.  Yeah.  Like pogs.  Or the phrase "that's what she said." 

Now that I have your undivided attention, I can share with you Cole's awesomely titillating (that word always makes me giggle) invention.  Are you ready?

Are you?  REALLY?

I present to you:

The Blog Quilt

Obviously this isn't the quilt I speak of.  It's merely for

 entertainment purposes. Click the link above the picture.  Duh.

 

The Blog Quilt so cool, though.  You can add your badge for your blog to the page, then add the badge for The Blog Quilt on your personal blog to refer other bloggers to the quilt. (Hopefully that wasn't confusing, although I almost confused myself.)  The hope is that eventually we'll be a part of one awesome, gargantuan internet quilt.  We can all cuddle up together underneath it in our bond of Blogdom.  Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, doesn't it? 

Warm and fuzzy like these ridiculously cute kittens

So, I beseech you (I've always wanted to use that word in a sentence!) good people to click the link, go see the quilt and join us!  Together we can make a difference!

That really has nothing at all to do with this, but I just had to use it.

Love, peace and chicken grease, y'all!

A Flashback...

The year was 1998. The show was TRL. These five dudes started singing, and it was the beginning of an obsessive crush that would last well into the new century....



Ahhh.....JT, how I drooled over you.

You're welcome.

Case of the Mondays

Yes, someone does indeed have a case of the Mondays, and it's me.  I didn't feel good today, so I skipped school.  I know - I was shocked at myself, too.  I just spent the day hanging out with my babies (which I feel like I hardly ever get to do anymore), watching cartoon movies and cuddling on the couch.  It was great. 

Then later this evening I went to my little cousin's football game.  Since my other little cousin (his sister) is a cheerleader for the peewee team, I decided to dress my girls in their LSU cheer outfits. 

The girls had a ball running all over the place.  It was actually cool when we got to the field, which was a welcomed break from the relentless heat and humidity we've had lately.  By the time the sun went down, though, we were all a little chilly. 

As for my less-than-chipper mood....

I have no exams this week, which is a relief, but they start back up again next week.  I have three exams and a quiz next week, and two exams the week after that. I'm already exhausted and I haven't even started studying yet.  Also, I have an essay due in one class two weeks from today.  Awesome.

I'm determined to make this a good week despite my inner urge to let the mood fester.  My to-do list for this week:

1. Make index cards for my psychology and geography classes.
2. Begin studying for my political science and history exams.
3. Start on practice exams for my math class.
4. Finish locating articles for my essay project (10 down, 5 to go). 
5. Complete an outline for my essay by Friday evening.
6. Stay on top of the laundry so it doesn't get ridiculously out of hand.
7. Refrain from reading my new Dexter book until after exam week.
8. Finish my online math homework (due October 5th).
9. Find time to get a french pedicure because the last one is wearing off.
10. Limit myself to one cup of coffee per day.

Don't know if I'll be able to accomplish all of these, but it's only Monday.  I'm going to be optimistic.

Sorry I didn't do a Movie Delight for y'all today.  I'll make up for it next week, I promise!

A Fabulous Day in New Orleans

If I had to pick one word to describe today, it would be FANTABULOUS.  Myself and three of my girlfriends purchased tickets to see the musical Hairspray at Le Petit Theatre du Vieux Carre when they went on sale two months ago.  Unfortunately one of the girls hasn't been feeling well and had to miss out on today's adventure.  I invited my younger cousin along because she's a huge Hairspray fan, and also because it would be a shame to waste the ticket (we had the best seats in the house - no lie). 

The production didn't start until 2pm, so we decided to make a day of it in the French Quarter.  You know, play tourist (it's fun to do that occasionally). Also, our beloved Saints were hosting the Atlanta "dirty birds" at noon, so we donned our WHO DAT gear in solidarity.  Yes, we're all crazy sports people down here.



First we roamed over to Jackson Square, which is where one of the most beautiful buildings in the world (in my opinion) stands - the St. Louis Cathedral.  I've mentioned the cathedral in previous posts, but today was completely different because for the FIRST TIME EVER, I was in Jackson Square when the doors were opened.  As many times as I've been there in my life - which is dozens - the doors have always been locked. 



Me, my cousin and girlfriends in front of St. Louis Cathedral



So, imagine my absolute delight when we realized the doors were open and we could actually go inside!  I was speechless.  I'm not Catholic, but you can't help but feel awestruck by the magnificence and beauty of it.  I found myself having to control the urge to cry.  You can feel the history when you're inside.  There really aren't enough words to describe it.  At that moment, I could have spent the rest of the day inside, just looking at the stained glass, statues, every nook and cranny.  Unfortunately we showed up in the middle of mass, so we couldn't take pictures or roam as freely as we would have liked. 

From there we strolled through the Quarter looking for someplace to eat lunch.  There are little restaurants and bistros at every corner, but we settled on a place boasting to be the "Original" New Orleans Seafood Restaurant.  I'm not sure how valid that declaration is, although on the menu they claimed to have been opened before the Battle of New Orleans.  So, take that with a grain of salt. 

My cousin and I split crabmeat au gratin with an appetizer of crab cakes.  Although I've had many various versions of seafood in my life, I had never before had crabmeat au gratin.  The coz' insisted I would love it, and I'll try anything once, so I went along with it.  Took me a bit to adjust to the texture and mix of crab meat with cheese, but it was actually pretty good.  The crab cakes were delicious.  All in all it was a little heavy for a lunch, but we all enjoyed our meals.  

The girls playing with Mardi Gras
 masks and me with my awesome new wig!



After lunch we decided to stroll through the French Market, which is basically a collection of tables covered in everything from jewelry to purses, shirts, knicknacks, etc.  Anything and everything you could want.  A thosand people selling you different versions of the same things.  (Think flea market with lots of cajun.) 

My cousin found a Bob Marley bracelet and a new Saints t-shirt, my friend found a new Who Dat shirt and I found the most awesome wig ever made:  a black and gold feathered wig - aka Saints wig (told you we were serious).  We spent an hour or so browsing the tables, then stopping in shops we passed as we made our way back towards the theatre . 

When we arrived at the theatre, we found our seats and waited for the show to start.  When we saw "The Wedding Singer" back in July, I remember thinking no other performance could live up to that one.  I was wrong.

These people did John Waters justice.  The man would be proud.  There was innuendo, raunchy, music and fun.    Surprisingly the scene stealer was a woman who played Penny's mother/matron/warden/PE coach/principal.  She was hilarious.  Also, Tracy's parents were a big hit.  I was actually surprised at how many children were there.  The material was a little too adult for young kids.  I think parents were imagining the remake of Hairspray (with Zac Efron) and forgot about John Waters' version. 

Anyhoo, the musical was wonderful and we had a fabulous day.  I can't wait to do it again!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Fantabulous Friday

(Caution:  this blog could very well turn into a ranting session.  I apologize in advance.)

Yes indeedy, today was definitely fantabulous.  Personally, I had a great day.  If you had a bad day, here's a big hug from me to make you feel better:

Also, hopefully your day will get better due to the misery of others. 

Misery on Fantabulous Friday, you ask?  Surprisingly, yes.  However, misery for one Lindsay Lohan

makes for fantabulous entertainment for me (and you).  Plus, for once I'm proud of the judicial system in Hollywood. 

After failing a drug test a mere TWO weeks after leaving rehab, Lindsay showed up in court today most likely expecting a slap on the wrist and maybe the judge shaking a finger at her with a halfhearted, "Tsk tsk,"  before being released to rehab for another few weeks.  Much to her dismay, my new hero, Judge Fox, refused to set bail for Miss Lohan and ordered her back to jail until her next court date, over a month away.  My feelings on the matter are simple:

IT'S ABOUT TIME.

I'm sorry, but this whole special treatment for the famous bit is just ridiculous, and frankly I'm glad someone FINALLY put their foot down.  Time and time again these celebrities are given freebies for offenses that would land regular people in prison for months (or possibly years).  Hit and run?  No big deal, just don't do it again.  Arrested for cocaine?  Hey, it happens.  Just take a month off from partying and stay in a luxurious rehab.  Abuse dogs?  No biggie, just spend 21 months in jail, then get out and be paid exhorbitant amounts of money to play football. 

I am sick to death of this crap.  These people are given so many privileges as celebrities.  They have the money to do whatever they want, they can travel all over the world, experience so many things us normal folks only dream about.  Instead of doing something useful, contributing in some way or being a POSITIVE role model for the young impressionable people in the world, they think they're above the law and decide to dabble in drugs, sex tapes and every other scandal they can think of.  They assume they won't be held responsible for their actions because - let's face it - celebrities are hardly ever held responsible.

Don't get me wrong here.  I actually think Lindsay Lohan is talented.  I thought she was adorable in The Parent Trap and Freaky Friday.  I also LOVE Mean Girls.  The girl has a gift, and she insists on wasting it by spending most of her time high or drunk.  It's a sad, sad shame. 

Hopefully she'll actually learn a lesson this time. 

Apparently we're all in kindergarten again...

because TAG, YOU'RE IT!

Well, not ALL of you, obviously.  I don't really know you all that well, and to be honest, I wouldn't really want to chase strangers around and touch them before turning around and being chased in return.  Also, being chased really freaks me out.  Like, for serious.  So none of that. 

We'll just assume this is a hypothetical game of tag, and we can play without the uncomfortable sense of being hunted.  Work for you?  Okay.

The totally awesome Philly Girl over at Confessions of a Philly Girl tagged me in this blog game, called "Tag Game."  Duh. 

Here's how it goes:  Philly Girl gave me and seven other lucky ducks a list of 8 questions.  I have to answer her questions, and then TAG 8 more unlucky bloggers with eight questions of my own.  The game shall go on until the end of time....or until something more interesting happens.........or a protest of tagging games....or the apocalypse (which I have on good authority will be led by Lady Gaga, Mel Gibson and Justin Bieber - who is, by the way, believed to be a minion of Lucifer).

Let the questions begin....

1.    How many countries have you been to?
Well, if you count the great 'ol USofA....one.  Although I did dream once that I went to Hawaii with Zack  because Jessie's dad was getting married and we had to break up the wedding since the bride was WAY too young to be marrying Jessie's dad.....

Wait, nevermind.  That was an episode of Saved by the Bell.  And Hawaii is totally part of the US.  Duh.

2.    What type of non-domestic animal would you want as a pet?
A liger.  Part lion, part tiger.

Just kidding.

Seriously though, I'd want a wookie.  Because who'd mess with me if I had a pet wookie?  Nobody. 

3.    What's the worst movie you've ever seen?
That would definitely have to be Vanilla Sky.



I've never before (or since) felt the urge to rip my eyes out.  For real.  I still don't know what the point of that film was.  It's also two hours of my life I'll never get back. 

Thanks, Tom.  You suck.

4.    Favorite fashion item?
Coach purses

Well, that or fanny packs.

 

5.    Thoughts on bra straps showing?
Right up there with Britney showing her cooch getting out of a car.  Seriously, cover your cooch, and cover your undies.  We don't want to see them  - undies, that is - unless you're posing for a magazine, starring in a film or dancing in a video. Then it's fine. 

(Us Louisianians are so proud.)

6.    What would you do with a million dollars?
I'd be BIG PIMPIN', spending G's.  Except, not on hookers or drugs. 

In reality, I'd make sure my children, parents, siblings and family were taken care of.  Then I'd buy a roller rink so I could roller blade any time I felt like it.  Then I'd build my dream house.  All of that would probably clean me out. 

7.    Who is your celebrity crush?
I have several.  If you want them all, check out my Freebies post.  However, since I'm still on a Glee high from last night's new season premiere, I'm feelin' the love for one Mr. Will Schuester.

Rawr.

8.    Favorite form of working out?

Basketball

I also really enjoy treadmills (which seems strange to most of my friends, who can't stand them).

There you have it, guys.  Eight things you probably didn't know about me.  Did you have as much fun as me?  SAY YOU DID!  SAY IT!

Now for me to TAG eight of you fabulous people, who will feel obligated (due to a sense of love and affection for me) to answer my questions and continue this sanitary game of TAG. 

Emily

Nicole

Jumble Mash

Brandi

Meg

Miss Innocent

Kate

Heather

Y'all are just fantabulous, and I couldn't NOT include you in my elementary school playground fun.

Your mission, should you chose to accept it:

Answer the following 8 questions:

1.  If you could spend one entire day (24 hours) with anyone (dead or alive), who would it be and what would you do?

2.  If you could only listen to ONE song for the rest of your life, which song would it be and why?

3.  What did you want to be when you were a child?

4.  If you were yogurt, would you be fruit at the bottom, or stirred?

5.  What's one show you wish they would bring back? OR What's a film you wish would have a sequel made or a film you wish would be remade?

6.  If you could come visit me and spend a weekend in New Orleans, would you want to?  Why or why not? (This is completely hypothetical, of course.)

7.  Do you think Ross and Rachel made a great couple?  If not, give me three reasons why I should still consider you a blogging buddy.

8. You rub a lamp and a genie (voiced by Robin Williams) pops out and grants you three wishes.  The same rules apply as in Aladdin.  What do you wish for?

I look forward to reading y'all's answers!  (Be sure to comment me and let me know when you post your answers so I'll be sure to read them!)

Toodles!



Movie Delight Monday

Last night I was thinking about how excited I am for November to get here so I can start covering my favorite Christmas movies.  I LOVE CHRISTMAS.

Until then, I'll just have to share my other faves, like today's MOVIE DELIGHT MONDAY pick:

I saw this film for the first time as a senior in high school.  My best bud Tiff kept raving about it, and since I loved Gene Wilder so much (still do) I figured I'd give it a shot.  Loved it!

The incomparable Wilder plays scientist Frederick Frankenstein (who repeatedly insists that his name is pronounced Froderick Fronkensteen), a respected professor at a university and somewhat happily-engaged to prissy Elizabeth (played by one of my favorites, Madeline Kahn).  His grandfather dies, leaving his estate to his grandson, who is embarrassed of the studies and rumors about granddad's experiments with rejuvenating dead tissues.

Dr. Frankenstein goes to see about his inheritance and meets his new assistant Inga (played by an entertaining Teri Garr), helper Igor (pronounced "Eyegore" and played by hilarious Marty Feldman) and the head servant at the castle, Frau Blucher (pronounced "Blewher" played by Cloris Leachman).  

After discovering his grandfather's laboratory and journals, Dr. Frankenstein becomes obsessed with completing the experiment himself.   

The film is full of fabulous one-liners and innuendos.  Many people are put off because of the film being in black and white, but after about 15 minutes of watching you forget all about it. 

This is a must-see for anyone who's a Mel Brooks or Gene Wilder fan. If you're a fan of both, you'll find this film to be doubly awesome.

*Note:  You'll be happy to recognize the late, great Peter Boyle as the monster!*

Lazy Day

It's gameday.  That means at my house the telvision stays on ESPN all day long (or whichever channel SEC games are on).  Currently I'm watching my LSU Tigers whoop on MSU. 

I did a guest post earlier this week for my bloggin pal JUMBLE MASH.  The topic was "bucket list" and I changed the title to

CRAP I ABSOLUTELY INSIST ON DOING BEFORE I BITE THE BIG ONE

Sounds better, yes?
So, here are the things that I really really really really really want to do before heading off to heaven to kick it with Jesus.


1. Punch Justin Bieber in the face. (I’ll have to wait a few years since he’s still a child, but I’m willing to wait. I’m also pretty sure I’ll still want to punch him in the face in three years.)

2. Stalk Johnny Depp (effectively) and consequently have a restraining order filed against me. (I’d so have that thing framed and hanging on my wall.)

3. Make out with Craig Ferguson, Mark Harmon and Ryan Reynolds.

4. Write a tell-all involving three A-list celebrities.

5. Spend a weekend in Vegas with Jim Carrey.

6. Sneak into Kristen Stewart’s home at night and write funny dirty words on her forehead while she’s sleeping.

7. See Aerosmith in concert. Preferably before Steven Tyler needs hip replacement.

8. Go out in public wearing nothing but 90s attire (spandex, neon shirt, faded denim jacket, white socks scrunched down and high tops that light up. Oh yes, and a scrunchie in my big frizzy hair.)

9. Walk through a drive-thru and actually be allowed to order food.

10. Give an emotional, encouraging speech in front of a large crowd and have it followed by the kind of applause that starts with one guy clapping really slowly, then people start to join in until everyone is standing, clapping and nodding.

11. Hire a band to follow me around all day providing music to go along with the various events of my day.

12. Have brunch (with mimosas) with John Cusack. Optional post-brunch make-out session allowed.

13. Join the mile-high club. Preferably on an international flight. Preferably in the middle of the day. Preferably with a handsome foreign stranger (it doesn’t count as cheating if you’re flying over water. I looked it up).

14. Win a karaoke contest with my rendition of “Endless Love.”

15. Be in the audience for a “Friends” reunion. And chill with the cast afterwards. And make out with Ross. Or Joey. Aw, hell, I’d even make out with Chandler.


I know this isn’t your typical bucket list, but honestly, who really cares if I write a poem or have my novel published or travel to Paris? Nobody. It’s the weird stuff you get remembered for. So, the next time you see a chubby chick streaking across the screen during an NFL game, look closely, because it just might be me.

Fantabulous Friday

I made it through exam week! YES!

Now I can breathe.  And focus on important things.  Like my blog. 

It's Friday, and that means it's

FANTABULOUS FRIDAY!

If you're not into my topic for today, you can blame Ray J over at Point Me to the Sky Above.....I Can't Get There On My Own.  Yesterday she blogged about a few books, one of them being Abraham Lincoln,  Vampire Hunter. 

People have been reviewing this book quite a bit lately, and my curiosity finally got the best of me (thanks to Ray J's excellent review).

I went to the library, checked out the book, and within the first 25 pages I was captivated.  Once I realized the author, Seth Grahame-Smith, also wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, I had to put that on my reading list as well.

I googled to see if there were other similar novels to these two, and apparently I've been living under a rock because there's a bunch of them!  This is a newish genre, called "mashup".  It basically started with Grahame-Smith's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies being picked up by an independent publisher, which prompted other publishers to begin seeking more of this combination classic-modern pop culture.  Writers take a literary classic and rewrite it with genres from today's popular genres, such as vamires and zombies. 

Since 2009 there have already been eight more of these mashups done by various other authors that have been successful (many more were hurriedly published in an attempt to capitalize on the sudden interest, but most of those were poorly written and didn't sell).  I can only vouch for Vampire Hunter so far, but I will definitely be reading all of these sooner or later.

Here are a few of the best-sellers of this new genre (according to several websites):

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith

Jane Slayre by Charlotte Bronte & Sherri Browning Erwin

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters by Jane Austen & Ben H. Winters

Little Vampire Women by Louisa May Alcott & Lynn Messina

If any of y'all have already read any of these, let me know what you thought!  If you decide to go read any of them now, please let me know what you think when you're done! 

Face Punch

Today is a very special Face Punch.  I only have one person I'd like to punch today. 

One person who, for unknown reasons, decided to inflict pain upon herself and cause terror for an entire town.

Yep, acid girl.

Eww.

On August 30th Bethany Storro was seen by a witness falling to the ground and screaming in pain after - she initially told police - an unknown woman walked up to her and threw a cup of acid in her face.  Pictures of the poor victim were all over the news.  People were outraged, and locals were terrified that some crazy person was wandering around Washington throwing acid in random people's faces. 

Storro was interviewed by multiple news reporters and was even scheduled to appear on Oprah later this week.  Then, according to MSN, some discrepancies started making themselves known in Storro's story, and details weren't making sense (for example, why would a woman be wearing sunglasses in a parking lot at night?).   Storro broke down and confessed that she had PUT THE ACID ON HER OWN FACE. 

Acid.

On her face.

On purpose.

Can we say PSYCHO? No reason for this disturbing self-mutilation has been given, other than some odd mention of her insistance of faith being the focus.  What?  How does putting acid on your face have anything to do with faith? 

Personally, I think she wanted plastic surgery and decided if she were "attacked" she'd get a new face for free.  If it were me, I'm sure I could think of some other creative, much less painful way than acid. 

Because you're crazy AND stupid, you get a massive face punch - one so big I had to bring in Chuck Norris:

 I hope your new face looks worse than the octomom's.



MIA on the Blogsphere

This has been me for the past week:

only with long, curly hair.  And female.

I'm managing to keep up with reading most some of the blogs I follow.  If I haven't commented on your posts, don't feel neglected.  I am reading them, just not having time to comment on all of them.

I did notice that I have gotten a few new followers in the past few days.

Welcome.  Make yourselves at home.  But don't invite your creeper ex-girlfriends/boyfriends.  I'm not a fan of crazy. 

A note to you new folks:  I normally post every day, but due to my current endeavor to pass all of my exams this week, things are a little slow.  My last exam is Friday, and things will be back to normal.  Well, as normal as it gets around here, anyway.

So, just bear with me - please don't unfollow me! - and I'll have something humorous, sexy and risque for ya on Friday.  Or something semi-humorous, at least. 

Later!



You can't find me here, I'm somewhere else

Yep, I've made the big leap and done a guest post for my adorable pal JM over at Jumble Mash today.

 

The post is my bucket list, or as I've appropriately renamed it,

"CRAP I ABSOLUTELY INSIST ON DOING BEFORE I BITE THE BIG ONE"

 Go check it out, and while you're there read some of JM's stuff.  She's funny and very entertaining! Her sports-addicted bf just started a blog of his own as well.  

Love, peace and chicken grease, y'all!

Movie Delight Monday

Howdo everyone, hope your week started off fabulous.  It's Monday, which means it's

MOVIE DELIGHT MONDAY.

Whoopteedoo. 

Today's post is going to be short and sweet since I have four exams this week and don't really have time to dillydally on what a certain unnamed person of authority in my life refers to as a "gigantic waste of time."  Heh. 

What I am going to do, though, is suggest to y'all a few old school (though not necessarily really old) movies starring one of the funniest men ever:  Robin Williams. 

I've added clips from the films as reviews, since I'm lazy and what's better than movie trailers?  Not much, I'll tell ya. 

Good Morning, Vietnam


The Birdcage


Mrs. Doubtfire


If you haven't seen one of these, go watch it immediately.  If you've seen them all, watch 'em again!

That's all. 

Later!