Friday, September 25, 2009

Disney is holding my movies hostage

I'm very angry with Disney right now. Yes, that Disney. The very communists who refuse to let me buy the movies of my youth.

When I think back to the movies I loved as a child, the majority were Disney features. Bambi, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, etc. I watched some of those movies so many times that the VHS tapes won't even play anymore. They were great! They fueled my over-active imagination, allowing me to pretend I was a princess locked in a tower by my evil stepmother. I was Snow White, living with a bunch of short guys and singing to animals who helped me clean my room. I could fly off to Neverland and stay forever away from ridiculous adults and brussel sprouts. Disney movies were golden to me.

So of course, now that I have children I want to pass on my love for these movies. I want them to watch the movies over and over again until they've memorized every line, every song. My first act was to join the DMC (or Disney Movie Club for those of you not in the loop). As I made my first few selections, I was disheartened to see that many of my favorites were not available. I figured that once I met my "commitment" to the club, I would be able to buy the classics. Alas, it was not to be.

My favorite movies are "locked in the Disney vault." Excuse me? You mean to tell me that my daughters cannot experience the joy of Bambi thinking a skunk is a flower because the film is being held hostage in some motion picture prisoner camp? Hidden behind concrete walls, never again to see the light of TV screen?

Now, I'm aware that every once in a while Disney will feel generous and pull these classic treasures out of the vault for a "limited time." This usually happens around Christmas. So what? I have to wait until December for my child to enjoy The Lion King? What if it's freaking January? I have to disappoint my daughter, telling her that Mean Mr. Walt Disney's replacement won't let us buy Bambi? No dear, they don't want you to see the movie.... at least, not until December. Who comes up with this crap?

So now, instead of Disney making twenty dollars from me, some lucky person on Amazon made $24 from me. At least now my kids can watch The Lion King and Bambi. Kiss it, Disney.