Friday, July 29, 2011

Fantastic Friday

I just discovered this video (although I'm sure it's not new to many people), and decided to share it with y'all because it's FRIDAY baby!

Look for Kenny G, Debbie Gibson, HANSON and Corey Feldman in this video. Also in it is Artie and Blaine from Glee! Awesomeness!

Happy Friday, y'all! :)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Why watch?

Every so often a movie will come out to mostly bad reviews, and several people tell you they saw it, and it was awful.  Still, you have some ridiculous urge to watch it for yourself.  Why?  Maybe you love the cast, or maybe one preview caught your attention.  You argue with yourself:  it would be ridiculous to waste two hours of my life watching a film that multiple sources have called terrible!  Why even bother?  You know you're going to hate it.  Urge wins out over logic, though, and you find yourself sitting on your couch with a bowl of popcorn, prepared to hate the movie you're about to watch. 

But then, surprisingly......


You try to tell yourself you're not completely caught up in the storyline or with the characters.  Somewhere during the film, though, you finally cave and admit to yourself that hey, this movie's not so bad after all.  It doesn't matter if other people hate it.  Right? 

Afterwards you feel guilty.  You're supposed to be an intellectual.  You're one of those people who only cares for the best of the big screen.  (This is for you people who claim to love every film nominated for an Oscar.  Puh-leaze.  Most of them are ridiculous. Give me Dumb & Dumber any day.)    Eventually you decide to love the film in secret, but bash it in front of your more sophisticated friends.  This is where the problem lies.

We've got to stop being embarrassed for enjoying films -and music artists as well - considered cheese by others.  If you like something, like it! Don't be ashamed to say, "Hey, I like the Biebs!"  (I don't.  Just to clarify.)   or "As a matter of fact, I think the Twilight films are fabulous, and I'll be at the midnight premier of the next two!" (I do and I will.)   It's time to stand up and be proud of our cheesiness, people! 

What brought this on, you ask?  Well, the above dilemma happened to me just days ago with a little film called Burlesque.  I've heard how bad it is.  I've read the reviews.  I decided to watch it anyway.  Not for Christina, because I don't particularly like her.  Or Cher, for that matter.  I wanted to watch it because the previews had me interested, and I wanted to see it.  Simple enough, right?  Wrong.  Ten minutes into it, watching scantily clad gals gyrating around a singing Cher, I was hooked.  I loved this film.  Absolutely, completely adored it. 

I don't know why.  Yeah, it is extremely similar to Coyote Ugly (motherless small-town gal heads to the big city to make it big and ends up shaking it and singing in scraps of clothing under the tutelage of an older, hard-as-nails woman), but that's not why I like it.  Maybe the songs are catchy.  Maybe I love Alan Cummings as a mascara'd freak, or Stanley Tucci as a gay assistant to Cher.  Or maybe it was that Cam guy naked but for a box of cookies.  Who knows?  The point is, I loved it, but then didn't know if I should share my opinion with my pals.  What if they thought I had poor judgment in films?  What if - GASP - they stopped reading my blog because I obviously have no idea what I'm talking about? 

I debated for all of twenty minutes, then decided it didn't really matter.   I've openly admitted my love for other things of a cheesy nature.  N'Sync.  Spongebob Squarepants.  Cap'n Crunch.  Britney Spears.  Toe socks.  You guys still love me anyway, right?  So why not add one to the list?  Burlesque. 

So now that I've joined the Cheese and Proud gang, I hope you'll join me! Cheeseheads, unite!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Vacation time

Beginning tomorrow, for an entire week this will be me:

A preview of me, only my toes will have aqua nail polish.  ;)

Tanning, reading a few good books, playing in the sand with my kids, laughing with my family and having a fabulous time. 

I've got a single post scheduled for next week, just in case you miss me terribly.  Later taters!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Abnormal News Day

Okay, we've heard about the heat wave sending everyone indoors for the comfort of A/C, and we've heard all about every miserable piece of news there is right now in the world.  Instead, I'd like to take a moment to enjoy the news that doesn't make front page, but is worthy of watercooler chat in offices everywhere.  First up:

Lorena Bobbitt Meets Kitchen Appliance

Here's the scene:  Bob and Jane are getting a divorce.  Jane calls Bob to invite him over for dinner to discuss how they'll divide the assets.  Bob agrees, but about halfway through dinner he starts feeling odd.  He passes out, then awakens a few hours later, tied to a bed.  Before Bob can panic, Jane reveals a 10-inch knife, which she uses to CUT.OFF.HIS.PENIS. 


Then, for good measure, she throws the severed member into the garbage disposal and turns it on. 

Apparently she suddenly developed a conscience, though, because she called 911 to aid the bleeding man.  Her reason?  "He deserved it." 

Now, I've said to Hubs on more than one occasion that if he ever decided to put his vehicle in another woman's garage I'd go Lorena on him, but we both know I could never do something so disgusting.  Break it, maybe.  But sever it?  No way.

According to the article, pieces of the penis were removed from the disposal and taken to the hospital, though it was unknown if doctors had been able to put humpty dumpty back together again.  Poor dude. 

Today's lesson:  Don't marry crazy.  It will eventually turn on you. 

Next up:

(Note: Most of the stories in  MSN's Weird News section today are about sex for some reason, so don't blame me.)

Deadly Bear Owner Chokes to Death on - you guessed it - Sex Toy

You can't make this stuff up.

So dude made the news last year after one of his bears mauled a caretaker to death.  A very sad event which troubled dude greatly.  Unfortunately, his grief could not ebb his extra-curricular urges.

A teenage employee found dude face down in his water bed (people still have those?!) with a leather mask over his head, eyes and mouth zipped shut, bound to the bed by chains and padlocks.   Further investigation revealed a sex toy lodged in dude's throat.  Cause of death:  asphyxiation.   Unfortunately that's not what most people will remember about him.  Sure, they'll say "Yeah, dude suffocated."  But what they'll discuss in greater detail is the fact that dude was a FREAK. 

Chains?  Padlocks?  Leather mask with zippers?  Water bed?  Sheesh.  This dude made the cross-dresser from Silence of the Lambs look almost normal.   (It puts the lotion in the basket!)

Obviously dude had help getting into those padlocked chains.  No assistant has come forth, however, so police are trying to figure that one out. 

I think that's enough abnormal for one day, don't you?  Now go out and share these with your friends.  They'll thank you for it.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Blahbety blah.

Hey guys.  It's Tuesday, which means we've gotten past Monday, and Hump Day lies before us.  Tuesday is kind of like Switzerland:  nobody loves it, but nobody hates it.  Unless, of course, Glee and American Idol are in season.  Then it becomes a holiday of sorts.  Personally, I can't wait until September, when Saturday will become my favorite day for the next four and half months.  Football baby, it's all about the football. 

Anyhoo, I don't have any brilliant thoughts to share with y'all today, nor any witty lists or tales for you.  Just wanted to say hi.  So hi.

P.S.  I'm on Twitter now.  Yep, I'm a twit.   Come find me!  @Jess_bigdeal

Also, as I mentioned the other day, Big Deal now has a Facebook page as well.  Come like me so I can pretend I'm one of the popular girls at school.  Not Molly Ringwald in Breakfast Club popular, but somewhere between Patrick Dempsey in the beginning of Can't Buy Me Love and Judge Reinhold in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.   That'll do. 

Monday, July 18, 2011

Movie Delight Monday

That's right.

This devil of a day has returned for vengeance.

Unbeknownst to manic Monday, we have an antidote to her hellish ways. Yes, indeedy, it's time for


I know, you're ecstatic.

In accordance with my rebellion, I have popped myself a bag of movie butter popcorn (it's so good!), and will now share with you one of my most favorite 80s gems:

Just One of the Guys

The first time I ever saw this movie, I thought Joyce Hyser was quite possibly the coolest chick on the planet. Not only was she brave enough to chop off her hair, but she also went into the BOYS' BATHROOM! Eww. (Think 12-year-old mentality.)

Summary: hot chick Terry wants to be a writer, but her sexist journalist teacher chooses a boy over her for a piece to be published in local paper. Anger provokes hot chick to cut off hair, dress like a boy and attend a separate school in order to have her piece published. Uncomfortable situations and hilarity ensue.

Lead Hyser isn't the greatest actress, but you'll get surprising pleasure from watching shy guy Rick ("male" Terry's only friend) morph into confident cutie throughout the film. His sarcasm is pretty entertaining as well. Another one to watch is Terry's little brother Buddy. He's the average horny teenage virgin, only witty.

WARNING TO PARENTS: Adult language, content and one scene of nudity.

Movie treat: Character Greg Tolan is none other than badass Johnny Lawrence of The Karate Kid films.

That's all for today, kids!

Happy Monday. Heh.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Face Punch

That's right baby, it's time to vent some frustration.  I am constantly concerned with the amount of stupid walking around freely, unsupervised and unmonitored.  Today's stupidity worthy of face punches:

Hello.  I'm an idiot.

What the hell is this?  Why would you young people think it's cool to act like a piece of wood on random objects?  It's not cool, it's stupid.  Also stupid is the 967 pictures you have of yourself on Facebook "planking" various things.   I hope your future prospective bosses see these pictures and refuse to hire you.  Hello, Quik-e-Mart.

Google Plus

So I got an invite, and I was logged in for about five minutes before you interrupted me to say you were full.  I've yet to get back on, but the few minutes I was there felt like the Matrix.  I'm sure you're totally awesome and worthy of the hooplah surrounding you, but you still get a face punch, simply for making me feel inadequate.


We've already duked it out a few rounds over the internet at my house - or lack thereof - and your poor service. I'm still pissed at you about that, but what's the deal with cell phone service? I have an iPhone, it's top of the line technology, yet I can't manage to have a thirty-second conversation with someone without dropping the call. I don't live in a major city, but I'm not out in the boondocks, either. I pay my bill every month. I despise you and constantly wish I could change services but somehow keep my iPhone. If I knew where Mr. AT&T lived, I'd drive to his house, knock on the door and punch him in the face when he answered. I'd still be dropping calls, but at least I'd feel better about it.

Now that's attractive

First off, who spells their name with a dollar sign? Besides Puff Daddy, I mean (or is it P Diddy Dirty Money Daddy Puffy now?). Also, you need a shower. Maybe two or three. In addition to you, I'm also angry with the entertainment industry. Why do you now think skank equals talent? Seriously? It's way too easy for people to become famous nowadays. Celebrities used to have to WORK for it. Now girls bump and grind to digitally altered voices and dress like hoes and they're overnight sensations. At least be like GaGa and do something different while showcasing true talent. Sheesh. P.S. Nickelodeon, Ke$ha was not an appropriate guest star for a children's television show. Just saying.

Well, I feel much better, don't you?

Have a fantabulously fantastical Friday, y'all!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

How I developed an obsession with JFK

Back in April I was preparing to enroll in courses for the fall semester when my advisor informed me I had the option of taking two history electives. I flipped through the curriculum book, debating whether I preferred spending a semester learning about medieval Europe or colonial America, when I saw the title that wiped all other subjects from my mind: The Kennedy Assassination. "Is this open?" I immediately asked my advisor. He flipped through some papers, then nodded, informing me that this totally awesome class was, in fact, available. I signed up right away.

I've never been particularly enthralled with the Kennedy family, but there has always been a bit of fascination with them; John F. Kennedy's confusing death, the bad luck that seemed to follow the Kennedys everywhere they went. I think it was after JFK, Jr.'s sudden death that I began to feel a curiosity about them, though I never took any steps to learn about his death, or that of JFK's nearly fifty years ago. Yet suddenly I was presented with the opportunity to learn all about the mysterious assassination of one of America's (and possibly the world's) most charismatic and interesting people.

I decided I needed to learn as much about JFK as possible prior to taking this course, so as not to walk into a senior-level class unprepared. I went on Netflix (who I am NOT happy with right now, by the way) and started ordering every documentary I could find, then to Amazon in search of any books that would be helpful. The professor for this subject, Michael Kurtz, has previously written two books on the subject of Kennedy's assassination, and is considered to be one of the nation's leading experts on the conspiracy theory. I purchased both of his efforts, Crime of the Century: The Kennedy Assassination from a Historian's Perspective and The JFK Assassination Debates: Lone Gunman versus Conspiracy.  In addition, I purchased Trauma Room One by Dr. Charles A. Crenshaw, who attended to both JFK and Lee Harvey Oswald.

Wanting to know the views on both the lone gunman theory and the ideas of a conspiracy theory, I also checked out The Kennedy Detail by Gerald Blaine from my local library, which is told from the views of the men who made up the secret service detail for President Kennedy and Jackie.

After reading Trauma Room One and The Kennedy Detail and watching several documentaries, I'm leaning more towards conspiracy. Based on the medical facts alone (given by Dr. Crenshaw), there's no way it was a single gunman who inflicted the wounds received by JFK and Governer Connally. I have just started Crime of the Century, and hope to have both it and Kurtz's other book finished by the time the semester starts in mid-August.

Hubs has joked that my interest in JFK has become more than just fascination. I argue with him, of course, but I surprised even myself with how excited I was to see his grave in Arlington, and my tendency to be overly-thrilled every time we came across something having to do with the Kennedys throughout our visit to D.C. I turned into one of those annoying tour guide people, saying things like, "Oh, this is where he laid in state!", "Can you believe Kennedy gave a speech from this very spot?" and other irritating facts. Hubs put up with me, thankfully. That man loves me more than I deserve.

Around mid-June I forced myself to step away from the Kennedy books and documentaries. I decided to read a few other novels, watch other movies and basically just force JFK out of my mind. I did pretty well with it, but now that the fall semester is bearing down on me, I feel like it's my responsibility to get back on the bandwagon and continue this fevered enthrallment with the man, the myth and the legend.

Don't worry, I don't have any cardboard cutouts of him hidden under my bed. Yet.

Doing my part to ensure Facebook gains world domination

It is a big deal, it is to me! now has a Facebook page

I know, you're ecstatic. 

Anyhoo, I just set it up so go over there and like it so I don't feel like one of those losers who only has six friends. 


This is me, begging.  Only I'm much less hairy in real life.  Oh, and I don't have whiskers.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Happy Hump Day!

I did it.  I finally did it.  Yep, I'm on Twitter.  @Jess_bigdeal Come find me and we' together.  Not in a gross way, though.  Hubs tends to frown on that.   

I saw this twice in the theater, and cannot wait for it to come out on DVD.  Awesomely funny.
(WARNING: This scene gets pretty gross.)

Seriously, I can't get enough of it.

Hope y'all have a happy hump day!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I swore I'd never do it, but here it is: My Harry Potter Post

I know, I know.  Everybody and their cousin is blogging about Harry Potter right now with the fantastic, gargantuan, epic finale coming this weekend.  I told myself I would not join the hooplah, even though I am a Potter fan.  I did put off reading the books until last September, but hey, at least I jumped on the bandwagon before it all ended.  (For those of you who want to inform me I'm not a true Potter/Rowling fan because I haven't been on pins and needles for the past decade waiting for each book and subsequent movie to come out......sorry, but I had other stuff going on.  There just wasn't enough time, what with getting married and having children, to immerse myself in Potterpalooza.)

I figured the best way for me to go about sharing my thoughts on HP is to just give you guys a list of my favorites from the series.  It gets a bit confusing, because some of my favorites from the books are not the same as my favorites from the films.  Tricky, isn't it?  Nonetheless, here we go:

Favorite Nonimportant Character

It's hard to consider any character nonimportant in Harry Potter, because they all have a purpose or reason about them.  One that had very little to give in the way of storyline, yet managed to catch and keep my attention, was Luna Lovegood.  She was so odd, but funny and sometimes uncomfortably honest. 

I loved her in the books, and thought they made an excellent choice in Evanna Lynch for the films.  She portrayed Luna perfectly and beautifully. 

Best Teacher at Hogwarts

Minerva McGonagall

Seriously, this chick was awesome not only in the novels but also in the films (portrayed by the fabulous Maggie Smith).    I love that she was strict and somewhat intimidating, but also had a bit of fun here and there.  I also admired how fiercely loyal she remained to Dumbledore and Hogwarts. 

Favorite mythical creature

Gotta go with hippogriffs on this one.  I thought it was great how Buckbeak was a creature that demanded respect, but once he accepted you he was a tender and playful pet.  He also saved Harry and Hermoine from Lupin (as a werewolf) and helped Sirius escape.  Winner. 

Course at Hogwarts I'd most like to take
At first I jumped to Defense Against the Dark Arts, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I probably wouldn't really enjoy that class, mostly because I'm a chicken, but partly because of the weirdos who passed through that class posing as professors.  I think the class I would most enjoy would be Transfiguration with McGonagall.   Who wouldn't want to turn stuff into other stuff? 

Favorite parents

No question about this one, most definitely Arthur and Molly Weasley.  I'd have to say they're my favorite family as well.  I love how Arthur is infatuated with Muggle objects, and he's got the most amusing personality.  Molly is sassy and bossy, but is a wonderful mother to her children, and practically adopts Harry.  I would love to spend a day inside the Weasley house with that family!

On a side note, I've seen Mark Williams (Arthur) give interviews, and he seems like a cool, fun dude.  Bonus points to the Weasleys!

Favorite BFF to Harry

This one is a toughy because Ron and Hermione are both such great friends to Harry.  I sorted it out by breaking it up.  My favorite BFF to Harry in the novels is Hermione.  She's brilliant, quick-witted, honest and loyal to Harry, although a bit of a prude half the time.  If it weren't for her, Harry would've bit it in the first book. 

My favorite BFF to Harry in the films is Ron.  He's such a dork, and can't help but envy Harry's constant place in the spotlight, but he was Harry's very first friend at Hogwarts and stuck with him through the worst of it all.  He's also pretty funny.

Best Quidditch match

Gotta go with Harry's first ever match.  Being the youngest Seeker in a century, having just learned how to fly and managing to win the match while nearly choking on the snitch?  Greatness.  I was surprised to find how much I enjoyed the matches in the novels.  It was even better to see the games brought to life in the films (although in the first film they all resembled stick figures on a computer screen - thank God for advancement in digital art!)

Favorite villain(s)

This was another tough one, because honestly Voldemort wasn't my favorite villain.  Yeah, he's terrifying.  Yeah he's freaky looking.  Still, not my fave.  Again I had to divide my favorite into film and novel. 
Novels:  Dolores Umbridge.  That chick was psycho.  I spent most of the book just waiting for the kids to do anything and everything to piss her off.  Plus, she forced the creation of Dumbledore's Army.  When twenty-something kids have to form a secret army to fight a tiny little woman, you know she's badass.   

Films:  Bellatrix Lestrange.  Maybe it's because Helena Bonham-Carter already weirded me out, but this character was scary good.   Her maniacal laughter and cackling all the time.....creepy.   She also killed Sirius, the only good family Harry had left, which makes her a pretty evil lady in my book. 

Favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher

Gotta be Remus Lupin.  He was kind, honest and the only truly decent D.A.D.A. professor those poor kids had.  I loved that he was once one of James Potter's best pals in school, and his immediate need to look out for Harry.  

Favorite Member of Dumbledore's Army

Neville Longbottom.  I felt so sorry for this kid throughout the majority of the books, and was pleased to see him begin to come out of his shell, gain confidence and turn out to be one of the most important characters in the series.    Matt Lewis did a great job portraying Neville, and I can't express how glad I am that he grew up to be a cutie.  I was worried for a few years there that he'd never catch up to those teeth. 

Characters I'd most likely have a crush on if I were a student at Hogwarts

Obviously, Fred and George Weasley.  I have a thing for troublemakers who are also funny, and these two are the epitome.  Loved them in the novels and adored them in the films.  This is part of the reason I was so upset while reading Deathly Hallows. I know I'll be crying my eyes out at some point during Part Two on Saturday.  Sheesh. 

Favorite novel (and film)

Would have to be Order of the Phoenix.  Umbridge was so deliciously bad.  Fred and George were at their most creative and daring.  Bellatrix was there.   Dumbledore's Army.  The Order.  The only part I hated, of course, was Sirius being killed.

By the time we're on year five, the characters are all solidly developed, relationships have been forged, enemies made and the Dark Lord is back.  I was swept up in this novel from start to finish. 

Most Favorite Character in the Novels (and films)
Surprisingly (even to me), Severus Snape.  J.K. Rowling was brilliant in the creation of Snape.  Additionally, they could not have picked a better man to portray Snape than Alan Rickman if they tried.  The man is a genius.  I went back and forth on whether or not I thought he was good guy/bad guy until the very last novel.   You hate him so much, but at the same time have to appreciate his ability to confuse you.  The way he treats Harry is abysmal, but multiple times he was there to protect the kids from harm.  He's the guy we all love to hate. 

Well there you have it.  Do I share any of your favorites?  If not, who would you pick?

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Various thoughts...

My mind is going in a million different directions today, so I figured I'd share with you guys.  Come on, let's all sit in a circle and find one of those talking sticks you have to pass around for it to be your turn to talk.

I'm not going to write about the hooplah surrounding Casey Anthony, although I will say that I do think she is absolutely guilty of killing her child, and I'm very disappointed in the prosecution's inability to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt.   Just one of the many problems with the US Justice System... 

Yesterday we tore the walls out in my bathroom in preparation for the installation of my new whirlpool tub.  YAY! It should be in by this weekend, and you may never hear from me again...

School starts back on August 18th, and I'm taking Spanish 102, but it's been eight years since I took 101 so I'm freaking out about that a little bit.  I also planned to read both books on JFK's assassination written by my professor in preparation for that course, but I haven't gotten through the introduction of the first one yet. I'm not really worried about my class load since I'm taking my last English, Communications (giving speeches - being the center of attention and talking nonstop for five minutes should be a breeze for me),  Colonial American History - an elective, but it's with a professor I absolutely adore, so I'm excited - and Library Science.  This should be an interesting semester...

The last week of July I'm going to Panama City Beach for a week with my momma, grandparents, sister, cousin and my baby girls, so I really need to get some semblance of a tan by then...

I have yet to finish moving everything from our old house to our new house, and we have people coming to look at the old house this weekend, so I should really be over there packing stuff instead of blogging, but oh well...

Hubs asked me if he could buy a new computer since his gave out last month.  I made him a Honey-Do List of the little things that still need to be done around our new house and told him he could buy the computer once the list is completed.  He's grumpy at me now...

I've recently developed a liking to Britney Spears, which is strange for me, and I'm disappointed that I can't go to her concert in New Orleans next Friday night.  I refuse to pay $168/ticket when I know I'll have to sit through Nicki Minaj for a half-hour first.  No, thank you.

I have so many novels I wanted to read for fun this summer, but I've only read three and I know I should be reading school-related books in preparation for the fall semester.  I just can't get motivated. 

Renovating a house is exhausting after a while.  I do love being able to make it my own, though. 

Okay, now it's your turn.  What's on your mind?

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

I'm so glad I got married before Facebook took over the world


I was just reading a post on a fellow blogger's site about going on dates, and how awkward it is to try and ignore someone when they can call your cell phone, text you, email you or make things uncomfortable for you online.  How true!

It's almost too easy to stalk somebody nowadays.  You can just Facebook stalk them, follow them on Twitter or put a trace on them - there's actual tracking apps for smart phones.  Creepy, right?    What happened to the good old days, when you rode around at night for hours with your friend, hoping to spot your love interest leaving work, or at their favorite bar, then followed them home and sat outside their house for hours?  Not that I did that, mind you.  I was usually the best bud who was dragged along for the stakeout and had to occasionally mumble words of encouragement like "I'm sure he just hasn't called you back because his phone died" or "No, I don't think he would be creeped out if he realized we were sitting outside his house at midnight."  I hated lying because I was quite sure whichever guy it was we were stalking would absolutely file a restraining order against my friend had they discovered us. 

When Hubs and I first started dating, Facebook was around but not yet the social monster it is now.  Myspace was popular, but neither of us spent a great deal of time online.  We managed to date for several months before the rest of the world knew about it.  Now, of course, I have around 600 photos on my Facebook and over 500 "friends" (mostly former classmates) who know basically every outing we go on, which movies I've seen recently and what I do in my free time. 

Sometimes I'm concerned with the amount of personal information shared on Facebook and other social sites.  Sure, we can set our privacy settings at the maximum levels, but we're still giving out a massive amount of info to everyone.

Apparently the new big thing in dating is the relationship status.  Changing your status from "single" to "in a relationship" is the cause of excessive stress and worry.  You don't want to change it too soon, because you might freak out the person you're dating.  However, if you don't change it soon enough, they may think you're dating other people.  I guess it's inappropriate to ask the person you're dating, "Hey, do you think we're at a point where we can change our Facebook statuses now?"  How ridiculous.  My dad has a Facebook and is married, and he decided to see what would happen if he changed his status from "Married" to "It's Complicated."  His page blew up.  Within a few hours every person on his friend list had either written on his wall, messaged him or called his phone.  Granted he only has 36 friends, but still.  Think of the possible damage that could be done to one's personal life. 

Because I have two teenage sisters and an eighteen-year-old cousin, I am Facebook friends with twenty or thirty other teenagers.  I read their posts and stay frustrated with them because they're so dramatic all the time.  They whine about everything.   "Mom won't let me go out tonight.  FML."  "Nothing good ever happens to me."  "I hate everyone."  "Life sucks."  Blah blah blahbety blah. 

What's worse, though, is the relationship drama that goes on.    Remember when you would be dating someone, and would find out he'd been seeing another girl?  Did you go online and write dirty messages so everyone could see she was a skank?  Oh no, indeed.  You went to where that hooker hung out, called her out and beat the mess out of her.  That's how drama was handled in my day.  Now these kids will call each other every name under the sun for hours on end, talking big and letting the entire world know all of their business.  However, let them see each other in public somewhere, and what do they do?  Walk right past each other, not saying a word.  Where's your big britches now, honey? 

Another beef I have with kids is that they have no idea what a serious relationship is.  Today they LOVE Brad, but tomorrow they hate him and LOVE John, and so on and so forth.  Let me give you a tip, kid:  If you LOVE one guy today, chances are you won't LOVE someone else tomorrow.  It's more of a lasting thing.  A few months, at least.  Oh and you can't date someone for a week and be in love with them.  You don't even know them! 

Okay, I think I've ranted on that enough. 

If Hubs and I ever divorce, I don't know what I'll do.  I don't think I could handle social dating.  It's too complicated and ridiculous.    Although I'm sure it will be easier to meet single dudes!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Chain Letters

It always happens in a similar fashion: I'm having a relatively good day. Work was good, the kids are being good, all is well in my world. I sign into my email, browse through the never-ending list of forwards, and I notice a message that gets my interest. "I'm pregnant" "Save this child's life" "URGENT!" Whatever the title, it's guaranteed to be one that will make me read. I scroll through the endless list of names that this email has previously been forwarded to, and finally I reach the message.

It generally starts out with the story of Bob, who had a picture-perfect life, dated the pretty girl, had a great job, blah blah blah, until he got an email that he was instructed to forward. Bob didn't bother to follow the instructions, and the next day, Bob lost his job. He caught his girlfriend cheating on him with his best friend. Then his house burnt down, and while fleeing the fire, Bob was attacked by a rabid dog, robbed of his clothes, and finally, run over by a semi. Poor Bob.

The email then goes on to instruct me that if I do not forward this message to however many people within however many minutes/hours, the same tragic fate will come my way. What the hell? You mean to tell me that if I don't send this email to 98 people in the next 5 minutes that I'm going to meet my maker in some similarly horrific-yet-hilarious manner? I don't even have 98 contacts. Not to mention that I've spent the last 3 minutes griping about how ridiculous this is, so now I'm down to 2 minutes.

Obviously, I am not going to forward this ridiculousness to any of my friends. I'm tempted to call up the idiotic friend who sent it to me in the first place. Are people really so stupid that they will repeat the pattern? Oh, I'm sure after first reading the email they had the same reaction I did. Then the wheels started turning in their brains. What if it's true? What if by some chance I DID die for not sending this to my friends? Didn't I see on the news the other night that there's been a handful of mysterious deaths recently? Is this email the reason? I saw Final Destination. I don't want to be sending death my way unnecessarily. On and on it goes, the imagination spinning wildly out of control until they've convinced themselves that they simply MUST forward the email, just in case.

This reminds me of when I was a child, and my friends told me that if I stood in front of a mirror and said "Bloody Mary" three times, that the actual Bloody Mary from history would come and kill me (NOTE: Never, in all my years of studying history, did I ever read about this Bloody Mary person).

Needless to say, this anger-inducing email went straight to my trash. So, it's now been about an hour since reading the threatening email. I'm still kicking. However, if this happens to be my last post, you'll know that I was kidnapped, tortured, dismembered and disposed of by Bloody Mary. Que sera, sera.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Monty Python and the Holy Grail....OR Jess in search of vintage stuff for her kitchen!

So we bought a house, and I now have a kitchen large enough to have an actual theme.  (Our old kitchen was like a linen closet, it was ridiculous.)  I'm into all things antique/vintage, so I made up my mind fairly quickly to go with that.  Deciding was the easy part.  Finding said items, however, another story entirely...

Luckily I have a grandmother who holds on to EVERYTHING she was ever given, and she recently decided to start thinning out her collection.  Win for Jess.   My mother also stopped in an antique shop whilst in Georgia recently and picked up a few items for me as well.

They gave me these cans (there was also an old tobacco can, but I put that one on top of my china cabinet)

and this awesome tiny washboard

They donated some vintage pasta containers, an old spice rack and a simple cookie jar circa 1960ish.  I also inherited a china cabinet from my great-grandmother, so Mom and Mawmaw immediately started searching for unique little teapots and the likes for my cabinet.  They're so great!

Then Hubs, wonderful man that he is, went to a yard sale and found this fabulous old wall phone for me!

So now that I've started a great - albeit small - collection, I'm on the hunt for more fantastic finds.  The stuff I'm looking for:

Blue Mason Jars
Great for soap dispensers!

More tins/canisters

I also want these (available on multiple websites), which are not actual vintage cans, but the advertisements are so cute, and my Mawmaw said these were real brands back in the day:

Bread tin

I also want some new stove burner covers, but have yet to find what I want.  Those are going to be tricky, I think. 

So basically I want anything and everything I can find. The other day I bought these salt & pepper shakers on Amazon: 
They're so stinking cute!

Hubs worries I'm getting carried away, and that pretty soon our house is going to look like one of those places visited by the American Picker guys (I LOVE that show!).  I'm afraid he might be right...

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Silly Superstitions

A few days ago I was driving home with my cousin when we passed under a yellow traffic light.  She immediately kissed her thumb and touched the roof of the car.  I looked at her, befuddled.  She explained that you're supposed to do that every time you go under a yellow light for good luck.  I laughed and told her she was ridiculous.

I'm not afraid of Friday the 13th. I will walk under ladders and step on cracks without fear of breaking my mother's back. I don't freak out when a black cat crosses my path, either.  Most of these old superstitions seem just silly to me.  

Then there are funny superstitions, like a friend of mine who wears the same New Orleans Saints T-Shirt and cooks the same meal every time the Saints play ball because he's afraid it will bring the team bad luck if he doesn't.   Or my younger cousin, who, when his junior high basketball team was undefeated, wore the same underwear and socks every game for luck.   

I consider myself to be fairly level-headed, and when I said so to Hubs, he quickly brought it to my attention that I am, in fact, superstitious about a few things.  They're things that I've done for so long that I didn't even consider them unusual.  Apparently I'm right up there with the rest of the weirdos.

Knock on wood

It's true, whenever someone asks me how well my oldest daughter is doing with potty training, how my car is running, or how LSU is doing during football season (or any other similar question), if the response is a good one, I knock on the nearest piece of wood I can find, just in case.  Don't want to jinx it!

Bless you!

Growing up my sister, cousins and I always heard that if someone sneezed and you didn't say "God Bless You" an evil spirit would be able to possess them by going up their nose.    Of course I know now that it's simply a matter of courtesy.  As a kid, though, that scared the hell out of me.

Salt over your shoulder

The first time I ever heard of this was while watching Dumb & Dumber.  It piqued my curiosity and after questioning my grandpa I learned it was an actual superstition.  From then on I've always thrown salt over the shoulder after any spill. 

If the clasp on your necklace slides around to the front, kiss it.

I have no idea where this one originated, but my friends and I always kissed the clasp on our necklaces whenever they turned to the front because we were told it meant the person you liked was thinking about you, and by kissing it they would be yours.  Silly little superstition, but to this day still I kiss the clasp whenever I notice it in front, out of habit.    

Exessive tickling will give baby a stutter

I've heard this one my entire life.  Anytime someone would come visit with a new baby, there would always be one person who wanted to tickle the poor thing until it couldn't catch its breath, and either my grandmother, mother or aunt would sternly remind them, "Don't tickle that baby too much, you'll give him/her a stutter!"   I always thought it was a ridiculous superstition, but once my babies were born, I found myself asking people not to tickle them too much....just in case...
 Cabbage and black-eyed peas on New Year's Day

According to legend, eating cabbage and black-eyed peas on January 1st will grant you health and wealth. My family has never gone a New Year's Day without gathering at my grandmother's house to partake in this superstition.   I don't know why we stick to this one, because none of us have suddenly come into any money.  We have had good health in our family, though, so I guess it's worth eating once a year, just to be safe.   They should have made it something better though, like boiled crawfish and potato salad, don't you think?

These are the superstitions I can't help but keep.  Do you have any unusual superstitions?  I want to hear about them!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Our totally awesome (and educational) trip to D.C. - Day Three

Day Three

By the time day three rolled around, our feet hated us.  We only had one full day in D.C. left, though, so we knew we had to suck it up and soldier on. 

Hubs had been bugging me since we reserved the trip about going to Arlington National Cemetery.  I really wanted to see JFK's eternal flame in person, but I'm not too keen on cemeteries.  They just freak me out.  I had to remind myself that Hubs had gracefully let me drag him to every single place on my Must See List thus far, so I caved and agreed we could spend Sunday morning in Arlington. 

On the way there we got lost and ended up in a shady part of town, but luckily made the proper corrections to our outdated map and got back on track without Hubs getting too nervous.  He has a terrible sense of direction, and if he thinks we're even slightly lost he freaks out.  Such a city boy. 

Anyhoo, we finally made it to Arlington National Cemetery and were pleased to find not many others had arrived yet.  We grabbed a map and set out to explore.

The first thing that surprised me was the size of the place.  I don't know what I was expecting, but this was not it.  The property just went on and on, rows and rows of small white headstones that continued farther than we could see.   I was also surprised that I wasn't creeped out like I usually am in cemeteries.  This place was just breathtakingly beautiful.  I remember thinking how the families of the people buried there must be so pleased that their loved ones can rest in such a lovely place (this is not normal thoughts for Jess).   The grass was a brilliant, bright green, the trees were all full and lovely.  It was a simple kind of beauty.  

The second thing that surprised me was realizing this cemetery is basically on a mountain.  Some would call it a large hill, but I'm going with mountain.  We walked uphill for a really long time.  My calves and behind got a nice little workout there!  When we first entered the cemetery wesaw people getting on these little shuttle bus things and thought how silly it was to ride a bus through the place when you could walk and really enjoy it.  Ha.  It didn't take me long to realize those people on the bus were the smart ones.  We kept passing people huffing and puffing, and I had concerns about a few middle-aged men who looked like they were borderline cardiac arrest.  Nonetheless, everyone kept marching up the hill to the first stop: the Kennedy graves.
As I've said before, I'm fascinated with JFK, and being able to stand in front of his final resting place was one of the most memorable moments of my life.  It was strange to stand there, knowing what this man did for our country, and what he was trying to do for our country when his life was taken so suddenly, horribly.  It didn't seem right that this larger-than-life image I've had in my mind could be right there, just several feet below us.  That being said, the eternal flame was beautiful, and I love that Jackie and the two babies they lost were buried all together. 

I was surprised to learn that both Bobby and Ted Kennedy were also buried in the cemetery.  I vaguely remember seeing Ted's funeral on television a few years ago, but completely forgot he had been buried there near his brothers. 

From the Kennedy graves we walked uphill for another five minutes to the Arlington House.  Hubs was super-excited about this because it belonged to General Robert E. Lee.  I had not known the property was Lee's prior to his involvement with the Confederate army during the Civil War.  After Lee resigned from the Union Army to join the Confederates, the US government decided to make the property into a cemetery, ensuring Lee could not return to his home after the war. 

The original house remains at the top of the hill, amazingly providing a view of all of Washington.  It's breathtaking.  

The house is preserved as a tribute to Lee, and was undergoing a few restorations when we visited.  We were able to walk through the entire house, both floors, to see where Lee and his family lived. 

After touring Lee's home, we headed over to see the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  Right as we arrived they were about to begin the changing of the guards, so we stayed to watch.  It was amazing to be standing amongst upwards of 100 people, with no one making a sound.  We all watched in silence as they performed the ceremony, the only sounds being the click of the soldiers' heels and the buzz of cameras capturing this solemn exchange. 

We made our way back down to the welcome center, where I found a replica of the newspaper published the day Kennedy was killed, then headed back into Washington to spend the rest of the day cramming as much tourism as we could into our last day.

The Freer Museum of Art was on my list because it claimed to contain a huge collection of early civilization art, including a fabulous Egyptian early art exhibit.  Psh.  There were about four things in the entire museum that were Egyptian, and the rest was mostly Japanese paintings and utensils. 

From there we headed over to the Museum of Natural History, which was AWESOME.

That place was huge, and contained everything you could think of:  dinosaurs, mammals, aquatic life, monkeys, skulls (human and ape), bugs, reptiles and butterflies.  I think I may have enjoyed it a great deal more if my feet weren't screaming at me the entire time, but we still had a great time. 

Our last stop was the National Gallery of Art.  It was fabulous.  I loved this museum because it contained pieces I had just studied in my Art History course during the Spring semester.  It was pretty cool to be standing in front of pieces I had only previously seen in textbooks.  

We shuffled painfully back to our rental car, then drove to the hotel to spend our last night in D.C.  Our flight home on Monday went fairly quickly, and we were back home with our precious baby girls by that afternoon.    We had a wonderful time in Washington, and plan on going back with our daughters when they're a little older and can somewhat understand and appreciate the history and magnificence of our nation's capital. 

Hope you enjoyed your virtual trip to Washington with me!