Lazy Day

It's gameday.  That means at my house the telvision stays on ESPN all day long (or whichever channel SEC games are on).  Currently I'm watching my LSU Tigers whoop on MSU. 

I did a guest post earlier this week for my bloggin pal JUMBLE MASH.  The topic was "bucket list" and I changed the title to

CRAP I ABSOLUTELY INSIST ON DOING BEFORE I BITE THE BIG ONE

Sounds better, yes?
So, here are the things that I really really really really really want to do before heading off to heaven to kick it with Jesus.


1. Punch Justin Bieber in the face. (I’ll have to wait a few years since he’s still a child, but I’m willing to wait. I’m also pretty sure I’ll still want to punch him in the face in three years.)

2. Stalk Johnny Depp (effectively) and consequently have a restraining order filed against me. (I’d so have that thing framed and hanging on my wall.)

3. Make out with Craig Ferguson, Mark Harmon and Ryan Reynolds.

4. Write a tell-all involving three A-list celebrities.

5. Spend a weekend in Vegas with Jim Carrey.

6. Sneak into Kristen Stewart’s home at night and write funny dirty words on her forehead while she’s sleeping.

7. See Aerosmith in concert. Preferably before Steven Tyler needs hip replacement.

8. Go out in public wearing nothing but 90s attire (spandex, neon shirt, faded denim jacket, white socks scrunched down and high tops that light up. Oh yes, and a scrunchie in my big frizzy hair.)

9. Walk through a drive-thru and actually be allowed to order food.

10. Give an emotional, encouraging speech in front of a large crowd and have it followed by the kind of applause that starts with one guy clapping really slowly, then people start to join in until everyone is standing, clapping and nodding.

11. Hire a band to follow me around all day providing music to go along with the various events of my day.

12. Have brunch (with mimosas) with John Cusack. Optional post-brunch make-out session allowed.

13. Join the mile-high club. Preferably on an international flight. Preferably in the middle of the day. Preferably with a handsome foreign stranger (it doesn’t count as cheating if you’re flying over water. I looked it up).

14. Win a karaoke contest with my rendition of “Endless Love.”

15. Be in the audience for a “Friends” reunion. And chill with the cast afterwards. And make out with Ross. Or Joey. Aw, hell, I’d even make out with Chandler.


I know this isn’t your typical bucket list, but honestly, who really cares if I write a poem or have my novel published or travel to Paris? Nobody. It’s the weird stuff you get remembered for. So, the next time you see a chubby chick streaking across the screen during an NFL game, look closely, because it just might be me.

Fantabulous Friday

I made it through exam week! YES!

Now I can breathe.  And focus on important things.  Like my blog. 

It's Friday, and that means it's

FANTABULOUS FRIDAY!

If you're not into my topic for today, you can blame Ray J over at Point Me to the Sky Above.....I Can't Get There On My Own.  Yesterday she blogged about a few books, one of them being Abraham Lincoln,  Vampire Hunter. 

People have been reviewing this book quite a bit lately, and my curiosity finally got the best of me (thanks to Ray J's excellent review).

I went to the library, checked out the book, and within the first 25 pages I was captivated.  Once I realized the author, Seth Grahame-Smith, also wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, I had to put that on my reading list as well.

I googled to see if there were other similar novels to these two, and apparently I've been living under a rock because there's a bunch of them!  This is a newish genre, called "mashup".  It basically started with Grahame-Smith's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies being picked up by an independent publisher, which prompted other publishers to begin seeking more of this combination classic-modern pop culture.  Writers take a literary classic and rewrite it with genres from today's popular genres, such as vamires and zombies. 

Since 2009 there have already been eight more of these mashups done by various other authors that have been successful (many more were hurriedly published in an attempt to capitalize on the sudden interest, but most of those were poorly written and didn't sell).  I can only vouch for Vampire Hunter so far, but I will definitely be reading all of these sooner or later.

Here are a few of the best-sellers of this new genre (according to several websites):

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith

Jane Slayre by Charlotte Bronte & Sherri Browning Erwin

Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters by Jane Austen & Ben H. Winters

Little Vampire Women by Louisa May Alcott & Lynn Messina

If any of y'all have already read any of these, let me know what you thought!  If you decide to go read any of them now, please let me know what you think when you're done! 

Face Punch

Today is a very special Face Punch.  I only have one person I'd like to punch today. 

One person who, for unknown reasons, decided to inflict pain upon herself and cause terror for an entire town.

Yep, acid girl.

Eww.

On August 30th Bethany Storro was seen by a witness falling to the ground and screaming in pain after - she initially told police - an unknown woman walked up to her and threw a cup of acid in her face.  Pictures of the poor victim were all over the news.  People were outraged, and locals were terrified that some crazy person was wandering around Washington throwing acid in random people's faces. 

Storro was interviewed by multiple news reporters and was even scheduled to appear on Oprah later this week.  Then, according to MSN, some discrepancies started making themselves known in Storro's story, and details weren't making sense (for example, why would a woman be wearing sunglasses in a parking lot at night?).   Storro broke down and confessed that she had PUT THE ACID ON HER OWN FACE. 

Acid.

On her face.

On purpose.

Can we say PSYCHO? No reason for this disturbing self-mutilation has been given, other than some odd mention of her insistance of faith being the focus.  What?  How does putting acid on your face have anything to do with faith? 

Personally, I think she wanted plastic surgery and decided if she were "attacked" she'd get a new face for free.  If it were me, I'm sure I could think of some other creative, much less painful way than acid. 

Because you're crazy AND stupid, you get a massive face punch - one so big I had to bring in Chuck Norris:

 I hope your new face looks worse than the octomom's.



MIA on the Blogsphere

This has been me for the past week:

only with long, curly hair.  And female.

I'm managing to keep up with reading most some of the blogs I follow.  If I haven't commented on your posts, don't feel neglected.  I am reading them, just not having time to comment on all of them.

I did notice that I have gotten a few new followers in the past few days.

Welcome.  Make yourselves at home.  But don't invite your creeper ex-girlfriends/boyfriends.  I'm not a fan of crazy. 

A note to you new folks:  I normally post every day, but due to my current endeavor to pass all of my exams this week, things are a little slow.  My last exam is Friday, and things will be back to normal.  Well, as normal as it gets around here, anyway.

So, just bear with me - please don't unfollow me! - and I'll have something humorous, sexy and risque for ya on Friday.  Or something semi-humorous, at least. 

Later!



You can't find me here, I'm somewhere else

Yep, I've made the big leap and done a guest post for my adorable pal JM over at Jumble Mash today.

 

The post is my bucket list, or as I've appropriately renamed it,

"CRAP I ABSOLUTELY INSIST ON DOING BEFORE I BITE THE BIG ONE"

 Go check it out, and while you're there read some of JM's stuff.  She's funny and very entertaining! Her sports-addicted bf just started a blog of his own as well.  

Love, peace and chicken grease, y'all!

Movie Delight Monday

Howdo everyone, hope your week started off fabulous.  It's Monday, which means it's

MOVIE DELIGHT MONDAY.

Whoopteedoo. 

Today's post is going to be short and sweet since I have four exams this week and don't really have time to dillydally on what a certain unnamed person of authority in my life refers to as a "gigantic waste of time."  Heh. 

What I am going to do, though, is suggest to y'all a few old school (though not necessarily really old) movies starring one of the funniest men ever:  Robin Williams. 

I've added clips from the films as reviews, since I'm lazy and what's better than movie trailers?  Not much, I'll tell ya. 

Good Morning, Vietnam


The Birdcage


Mrs. Doubtfire


If you haven't seen one of these, go watch it immediately.  If you've seen them all, watch 'em again!

That's all. 

Later!