Friday, July 15, 2011

Face Punch

That's right baby, it's time to vent some frustration.  I am constantly concerned with the amount of stupid walking around freely, unsupervised and unmonitored.  Today's stupidity worthy of face punches:

Hello.  I'm an idiot.

What the hell is this?  Why would you young people think it's cool to act like a piece of wood on random objects?  It's not cool, it's stupid.  Also stupid is the 967 pictures you have of yourself on Facebook "planking" various things.   I hope your future prospective bosses see these pictures and refuse to hire you.  Hello, Quik-e-Mart.

Google Plus

So I got an invite, and I was logged in for about five minutes before you interrupted me to say you were full.  I've yet to get back on, but the few minutes I was there felt like the Matrix.  I'm sure you're totally awesome and worthy of the hooplah surrounding you, but you still get a face punch, simply for making me feel inadequate.


We've already duked it out a few rounds over the internet at my house - or lack thereof - and your poor service. I'm still pissed at you about that, but what's the deal with cell phone service? I have an iPhone, it's top of the line technology, yet I can't manage to have a thirty-second conversation with someone without dropping the call. I don't live in a major city, but I'm not out in the boondocks, either. I pay my bill every month. I despise you and constantly wish I could change services but somehow keep my iPhone. If I knew where Mr. AT&T lived, I'd drive to his house, knock on the door and punch him in the face when he answered. I'd still be dropping calls, but at least I'd feel better about it.

Now that's attractive

First off, who spells their name with a dollar sign? Besides Puff Daddy, I mean (or is it P Diddy Dirty Money Daddy Puffy now?). Also, you need a shower. Maybe two or three. In addition to you, I'm also angry with the entertainment industry. Why do you now think skank equals talent? Seriously? It's way too easy for people to become famous nowadays. Celebrities used to have to WORK for it. Now girls bump and grind to digitally altered voices and dress like hoes and they're overnight sensations. At least be like GaGa and do something different while showcasing true talent. Sheesh. P.S. Nickelodeon, Ke$ha was not an appropriate guest star for a children's television show. Just saying.

Well, I feel much better, don't you?

Have a fantabulously fantastical Friday, y'all!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

How I developed an obsession with JFK

Back in April I was preparing to enroll in courses for the fall semester when my advisor informed me I had the option of taking two history electives. I flipped through the curriculum book, debating whether I preferred spending a semester learning about medieval Europe or colonial America, when I saw the title that wiped all other subjects from my mind: The Kennedy Assassination. "Is this open?" I immediately asked my advisor. He flipped through some papers, then nodded, informing me that this totally awesome class was, in fact, available. I signed up right away.

I've never been particularly enthralled with the Kennedy family, but there has always been a bit of fascination with them; John F. Kennedy's confusing death, the bad luck that seemed to follow the Kennedys everywhere they went. I think it was after JFK, Jr.'s sudden death that I began to feel a curiosity about them, though I never took any steps to learn about his death, or that of JFK's nearly fifty years ago. Yet suddenly I was presented with the opportunity to learn all about the mysterious assassination of one of America's (and possibly the world's) most charismatic and interesting people.

I decided I needed to learn as much about JFK as possible prior to taking this course, so as not to walk into a senior-level class unprepared. I went on Netflix (who I am NOT happy with right now, by the way) and started ordering every documentary I could find, then to Amazon in search of any books that would be helpful. The professor for this subject, Michael Kurtz, has previously written two books on the subject of Kennedy's assassination, and is considered to be one of the nation's leading experts on the conspiracy theory. I purchased both of his efforts, Crime of the Century: The Kennedy Assassination from a Historian's Perspective and The JFK Assassination Debates: Lone Gunman versus Conspiracy.  In addition, I purchased Trauma Room One by Dr. Charles A. Crenshaw, who attended to both JFK and Lee Harvey Oswald.

Wanting to know the views on both the lone gunman theory and the ideas of a conspiracy theory, I also checked out The Kennedy Detail by Gerald Blaine from my local library, which is told from the views of the men who made up the secret service detail for President Kennedy and Jackie.

After reading Trauma Room One and The Kennedy Detail and watching several documentaries, I'm leaning more towards conspiracy. Based on the medical facts alone (given by Dr. Crenshaw), there's no way it was a single gunman who inflicted the wounds received by JFK and Governer Connally. I have just started Crime of the Century, and hope to have both it and Kurtz's other book finished by the time the semester starts in mid-August.

Hubs has joked that my interest in JFK has become more than just fascination. I argue with him, of course, but I surprised even myself with how excited I was to see his grave in Arlington, and my tendency to be overly-thrilled every time we came across something having to do with the Kennedys throughout our visit to D.C. I turned into one of those annoying tour guide people, saying things like, "Oh, this is where he laid in state!", "Can you believe Kennedy gave a speech from this very spot?" and other irritating facts. Hubs put up with me, thankfully. That man loves me more than I deserve.

Around mid-June I forced myself to step away from the Kennedy books and documentaries. I decided to read a few other novels, watch other movies and basically just force JFK out of my mind. I did pretty well with it, but now that the fall semester is bearing down on me, I feel like it's my responsibility to get back on the bandwagon and continue this fevered enthrallment with the man, the myth and the legend.

Don't worry, I don't have any cardboard cutouts of him hidden under my bed. Yet.

Doing my part to ensure Facebook gains world domination

It is a big deal, it is to me! now has a Facebook page

I know, you're ecstatic. 

Anyhoo, I just set it up so go over there and like it so I don't feel like one of those losers who only has six friends. 


This is me, begging.  Only I'm much less hairy in real life.  Oh, and I don't have whiskers.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Happy Hump Day!

I did it.  I finally did it.  Yep, I'm on Twitter.  @Jess_bigdeal Come find me and we' together.  Not in a gross way, though.  Hubs tends to frown on that.   

I saw this twice in the theater, and cannot wait for it to come out on DVD.  Awesomely funny.
(WARNING: This scene gets pretty gross.)

Seriously, I can't get enough of it.

Hope y'all have a happy hump day!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I swore I'd never do it, but here it is: My Harry Potter Post

I know, I know.  Everybody and their cousin is blogging about Harry Potter right now with the fantastic, gargantuan, epic finale coming this weekend.  I told myself I would not join the hooplah, even though I am a Potter fan.  I did put off reading the books until last September, but hey, at least I jumped on the bandwagon before it all ended.  (For those of you who want to inform me I'm not a true Potter/Rowling fan because I haven't been on pins and needles for the past decade waiting for each book and subsequent movie to come out......sorry, but I had other stuff going on.  There just wasn't enough time, what with getting married and having children, to immerse myself in Potterpalooza.)

I figured the best way for me to go about sharing my thoughts on HP is to just give you guys a list of my favorites from the series.  It gets a bit confusing, because some of my favorites from the books are not the same as my favorites from the films.  Tricky, isn't it?  Nonetheless, here we go:

Favorite Nonimportant Character

It's hard to consider any character nonimportant in Harry Potter, because they all have a purpose or reason about them.  One that had very little to give in the way of storyline, yet managed to catch and keep my attention, was Luna Lovegood.  She was so odd, but funny and sometimes uncomfortably honest. 

I loved her in the books, and thought they made an excellent choice in Evanna Lynch for the films.  She portrayed Luna perfectly and beautifully. 

Best Teacher at Hogwarts

Minerva McGonagall

Seriously, this chick was awesome not only in the novels but also in the films (portrayed by the fabulous Maggie Smith).    I love that she was strict and somewhat intimidating, but also had a bit of fun here and there.  I also admired how fiercely loyal she remained to Dumbledore and Hogwarts. 

Favorite mythical creature

Gotta go with hippogriffs on this one.  I thought it was great how Buckbeak was a creature that demanded respect, but once he accepted you he was a tender and playful pet.  He also saved Harry and Hermoine from Lupin (as a werewolf) and helped Sirius escape.  Winner. 

Course at Hogwarts I'd most like to take
At first I jumped to Defense Against the Dark Arts, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I probably wouldn't really enjoy that class, mostly because I'm a chicken, but partly because of the weirdos who passed through that class posing as professors.  I think the class I would most enjoy would be Transfiguration with McGonagall.   Who wouldn't want to turn stuff into other stuff? 

Favorite parents

No question about this one, most definitely Arthur and Molly Weasley.  I'd have to say they're my favorite family as well.  I love how Arthur is infatuated with Muggle objects, and he's got the most amusing personality.  Molly is sassy and bossy, but is a wonderful mother to her children, and practically adopts Harry.  I would love to spend a day inside the Weasley house with that family!

On a side note, I've seen Mark Williams (Arthur) give interviews, and he seems like a cool, fun dude.  Bonus points to the Weasleys!

Favorite BFF to Harry

This one is a toughy because Ron and Hermione are both such great friends to Harry.  I sorted it out by breaking it up.  My favorite BFF to Harry in the novels is Hermione.  She's brilliant, quick-witted, honest and loyal to Harry, although a bit of a prude half the time.  If it weren't for her, Harry would've bit it in the first book. 

My favorite BFF to Harry in the films is Ron.  He's such a dork, and can't help but envy Harry's constant place in the spotlight, but he was Harry's very first friend at Hogwarts and stuck with him through the worst of it all.  He's also pretty funny.

Best Quidditch match

Gotta go with Harry's first ever match.  Being the youngest Seeker in a century, having just learned how to fly and managing to win the match while nearly choking on the snitch?  Greatness.  I was surprised to find how much I enjoyed the matches in the novels.  It was even better to see the games brought to life in the films (although in the first film they all resembled stick figures on a computer screen - thank God for advancement in digital art!)

Favorite villain(s)

This was another tough one, because honestly Voldemort wasn't my favorite villain.  Yeah, he's terrifying.  Yeah he's freaky looking.  Still, not my fave.  Again I had to divide my favorite into film and novel. 
Novels:  Dolores Umbridge.  That chick was psycho.  I spent most of the book just waiting for the kids to do anything and everything to piss her off.  Plus, she forced the creation of Dumbledore's Army.  When twenty-something kids have to form a secret army to fight a tiny little woman, you know she's badass.   

Films:  Bellatrix Lestrange.  Maybe it's because Helena Bonham-Carter already weirded me out, but this character was scary good.   Her maniacal laughter and cackling all the time.....creepy.   She also killed Sirius, the only good family Harry had left, which makes her a pretty evil lady in my book. 

Favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher

Gotta be Remus Lupin.  He was kind, honest and the only truly decent D.A.D.A. professor those poor kids had.  I loved that he was once one of James Potter's best pals in school, and his immediate need to look out for Harry.  

Favorite Member of Dumbledore's Army

Neville Longbottom.  I felt so sorry for this kid throughout the majority of the books, and was pleased to see him begin to come out of his shell, gain confidence and turn out to be one of the most important characters in the series.    Matt Lewis did a great job portraying Neville, and I can't express how glad I am that he grew up to be a cutie.  I was worried for a few years there that he'd never catch up to those teeth. 

Characters I'd most likely have a crush on if I were a student at Hogwarts

Obviously, Fred and George Weasley.  I have a thing for troublemakers who are also funny, and these two are the epitome.  Loved them in the novels and adored them in the films.  This is part of the reason I was so upset while reading Deathly Hallows. I know I'll be crying my eyes out at some point during Part Two on Saturday.  Sheesh. 

Favorite novel (and film)

Would have to be Order of the Phoenix.  Umbridge was so deliciously bad.  Fred and George were at their most creative and daring.  Bellatrix was there.   Dumbledore's Army.  The Order.  The only part I hated, of course, was Sirius being killed.

By the time we're on year five, the characters are all solidly developed, relationships have been forged, enemies made and the Dark Lord is back.  I was swept up in this novel from start to finish. 

Most Favorite Character in the Novels (and films)
Surprisingly (even to me), Severus Snape.  J.K. Rowling was brilliant in the creation of Snape.  Additionally, they could not have picked a better man to portray Snape than Alan Rickman if they tried.  The man is a genius.  I went back and forth on whether or not I thought he was good guy/bad guy until the very last novel.   You hate him so much, but at the same time have to appreciate his ability to confuse you.  The way he treats Harry is abysmal, but multiple times he was there to protect the kids from harm.  He's the guy we all love to hate. 

Well there you have it.  Do I share any of your favorites?  If not, who would you pick?