Ah, young love

It wasn't all that long ago that I was a teenager. Some parts of those years I can remember as clearly as if they happened yesterday; passing notes between classes, having ridiculous crushes on upperclassmen, football games, dances, four-hour phone conversations (on home phones because back then no one had cell phones). Other parts, though, are like this distant hazy memory that I can only grasp pieces of. I remember having relationships with boys, but not the way they seem to happen today.

Today's teen romances are like soap operas. I like you, I love you, I hate you, I love him, I love you both, I hate him, I'm sorry, I love you, I don't know if I love you, on and on and on. All withing one week, no less. (If you think I'm being dramatic, obviously you have no teenagers in your immediate family.)

Although that part of my younger life is a tad fuzzy, I do remember myself and my peers having relationships for at least three or four months at a time. Nowadays these kids play musical boyfriend, breaking up and finding new "love" within a matter of days. That's another aspect of today's youth that frustrates me. They date someone for two days and suddenly they're in love. They've found their soul mate. Are you kidding me? As someone who's always around teenagers, I often get asked for advice on relationships. I want to shake them and say, "You have no idea what love is! It takes more than a week to fall in love with someone, because you can't possibly know someone well enough to love them in seven days." And for the love of God, can we PLEASE stop having sex at fourteen and fifteen? It's like this generation is a whole new 60s hippie phase, just on a much more irresponsible level.

Another idea that is so hard for teens to grasp is that they will change in coming years. To tell a young adult that the person they'll be in five years will be so much different than the person they are today is like talking to a brick wall. I know it's a hard concept to grasp, but it's so true. Interests change, horizons are broadened. These kids meet someone in high school and think they'll be compatible forever. Granted, it is possible. I have a handful of friends who started dating in high school and are still together to this day. It's very rare though.

I guess I worry so much about the youth of today now because in twelve years I'll have two teenage daughters. The idea is terrifying. I shudder to think of teenage romance involving my baby girls. I guess I could always send them to an all-girls boarding school....

BIG NEWS ALERT: Megan Fox is a terrible actress.

*I know this is the second post in three days to diss an actress, but I saw this story on MSN and couldn't help myself*

Warner Bros. Bleeds Red Ink From 'Jonah Hex'

So apparently people are surprised to learn that Megan Fox's only talent lies in her bra. My question: WHY?

It was evident in both Transformers movies that the girl was only in the film as window dressing. She was given as few lines as possible, and they kept her skantily clothed throughout the entirety of both in the hopes that people wouldn't notice. Sorry Hollywood, but not all females think she's hot. Angelina Jolie, yes. Megan Fox, no. Am I the only one who saw her in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen? (I know it's entirely possible since that movie sucked, but hey, I have toddlers who like the Disney channel.) She was dreadful in that movie as well.

So now she's been booted out of Transformers 3 and her supposedly huge summer blockbuster is a bust. People also seem shocked to find out that she's a huge diva, rude to extras, crew and fans. Surprise, surprise. It's usually the famous people who know they have no talent that let stardom go straight to their air-filled heads. They dig their nails into fame as hard as possible because they know it will all be over as soon as everyone realizes they can't act. Or sing, for that matter.

There are a handful of gorgeous young women in Hollywood who could easily replace her, and all without the bitch stigma. Maybe now that she's married to what's-his-name from 90210 she'll retire and pop out some beautiful, evil spawns. We can only hope.

Favorite Movie Quotes of All Time

After spending about an hour this afternoon having a movie quote war with my BFF Mikey, I decided to share some of my all-time favorites here in the land of the conventionally self-involved. Most of these will be on nearly every movie quote list available, although a few of my favorites are from some not-so-popular movies.

1. "I'm your huckleberry." Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday in Tombstone

2. "You're all older! You're even uglier!" Rick Mayall as Drop Dead Fred

3. "It's amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy." Rupert Everett as George in My Best Friend's Wedding

4. "Lord loves a workin' man. Don't trust whitey. See a doctor and get rid of it." Steve Martin as Navin Johnson in The Jerk

5. "Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's, in my opinion, are not good." Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

6. "Oh my lucky stars - a negro! Brendan Fraser as Adam Weber in Blast From the Past

7. "I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane, and I will take you with me!" Catherine O'Hara as Delia Deetz in Beetlejuice

8. "We're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny effin' Kaye!" Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation

9. "You can't handle the truth!" Jack Nicholson as Col. Nathan Jessup in A Few Good Men

10. "Richard....I didn't know you were a DIK." Ryan Reynolds as Van Wilder

11. "Sandy, don't make me laugh. A-ha. A-ha. A-ha." John Travolta as Danny Zuko in Grease

12. "I'm telling you the devil gypped me for a hamburger!" Brendan Fraser as Elliot Richards in Bedazzled

13. "Mama Cass. Ham sandwich." Mike Myers as Austin Powers

14. "Yo, my brethren. What up with thee?" Jim Carrey as "Bruce Nolan in Bruce Almighty

15. "You are too twisted for color TV!" Shirley Maclaine as Ouiser Boudreaux in Steel Magnolias

16. "Hello, Clarice." Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs

17. "You're gonna need a bigger boat." Roy Scheider as Martin Brody in Jaws

18. "It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care." Ron Livingston as Peter Gibbons in Office Space

19. "Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear." Rory Cochrane as Lucas in Empire Records

20. "Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns." Paul Gleason as Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club


Those are just a few. I'll post more again soon, I'm sure.

Reasons I really dislike Kristen Stewart

I know I'm not the first person to strongly voice dislike for her, but after sitting through another two hours of Miss Stewart's horrendous acting last night, I feel the need to reiterate.

1. Nearly every time you see her, her mouth is halfway open with her two top front teeth glaring at you (obviously teeth can't glare, but you know what I mean.

2. Panic and/or fear cannot be conveyed by including a stutter with above mentioned tooth assault.

3. Every public appearance of hers I see leaves me wondering if she's an alcoholic, drug addict, a moron or just really angry at everyone.

4. In all of her interviews she seems to be completely ungrateful to the millions of fans who are basically responsible for making her a household name. If the fans don't see the movie, you make no money. Be thankful.

5. She had a role as Jodie Foster's son in Panic Room what, like, eight years ago? (Okay, I'm aware she played the daughter, but you can't honestly say she didn't look like a young boy in that movie.) A Twilight Saga and The Runaways later she's too good to present at the OSCARS? Are you kidding me?

6. Wash your hair. You don't have to do it everyday. I know you're a busy girl, but come on. At least four times a week would be a vast improvement.

7. Is it really necessary to smoke pot on your porch steps while paparazzi are obviously taking pictures of you?

8. I just really really don't like her.

That's all I can think of right now, but give me a few months and I'm sure I'll come up with more!

What a week....and it's only Tuesday!

My weeks in general are pretty boring. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I work from nine to one at church, then spend the rest of the day at home with my family. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm at home with the girls, so I clean and make the most of my free time with them. The weekends are for family time and church. It's all pretty repetitious.

Yesterday, however, my week started on a bad note. My mom called and woke me up early to inform me that my uncle was at the hospital following a heart attack. Huge surprise since he's always been seemingly healthy. After a stint placement and some recuperation he should be fine, but Monday was a bust.

This morning I had to be up at 4:45 so that my girls, my cousin and I could be dressed and ready to pick up my sister and head to New Orleans for my mother's 7am spine surgery. She was hit by a dump truck loaded with gravel a couple of years ago, and after trying various therapies it was determined that surgery was necessary. Three hour surgery went well according to doctor, and after being able to see mom afterwards we came back home. An attempt at afternoon nap was foiled by my two year old. Apparently waking up at 5 am has no effect on her whatsoever.

So now my cousin, sister and I are watching Twilight and New Moon in preparation of the midnight premiere of Eclipse that we'll be seeing tonight. After waiting in line for approximately three hours, of course. I am already so exhausted, I have no idea how I'm going to stay awake. Maybe excitement for the movie will give me a second wind. And a third. And maybe a fourth.....

80s Movies

Kids today just don't appreciate a good movie like they used to. I am a movie freak. I've spent more money on my dvd/blu ray collection than I have on my truck (which is almost paid off). My favorite genre is comedy, but my preference is 80s movies in general. There are so many film treasures from the eighties that young people today have never even heard of. It's a tragedy if you ask me.

Take my younger cousin, for instance. Seventeen year old. High school senior. Smart, witty, generally good taste in music and television. Ask her about her favorite movies, though, and you hit a dead end. This kid prefers the awful movie remakes that have swept the big screen in recent years to the originals. Okay, so maybe Rob Zombie's Halloween was good, but is it better than John Carpenter's version? Absolutely not!

I have tried relentlessly to broaden my cousin's taste in movies. I recommend movies (usually mid-90s or earlier), praising the dialogue, soundtrack, storyline, etc. She'll sit through an average of twenty minutes of said movie and decide she's bored. Really?! Interview With the Vampire is boring? Ferris Bueller? Can't Buy Me Love? BEETLEJUICE?! I just want to throw a shoe at her.

The worst is trying to explain why comedies were so much better in the 80s. Obviously due to rating restrictions being so much more strict back then, filmmakers had to be creative. Get the hilarity out of a story without filling the film with naked girls and raunchy sex scenes (so maybe Porky's was an exception to this theory, but who's going to complain about that one?).

Oh and don't even get me started on horror films! Back in the day you didn't have to see brain matter and ooze-dripping zombies to be afraid. It was a mind game. Just knowing what happened was scary enough. Now it's nothing but blood and guts. Not to mention TERRIBLE acting by scantily-clothed dimwits. The best part of the remake of House of Wax was when Paris Hilton bit the dust, and the only reason for that is because that was when she stopped being in the film.

I just find myself disappointed over and over again at these ridiculous movies that come out to such massive receptions, make billions of dollars and are just awful. Put Young Frankenstein or Breakfast Club back in theaters for a month. That would be money worth spending.

Life.

I've been out of the blogging loop for a few months, so I thought I'd take this post and play catch-up to whoever is willing to read...

Next month I'll hit the one-year mark of working at my church. I still love it. It's a rewarding position for me because I can utilize various skills in so many different areas. My boss, the Pastor, is one of the most encouraging and supportive people I've ever worked for. My work load has been steadily increasing over the past few months as members of the church have realized my talents and abilities, causing them to assign new projects to me. Somewhere in there I was apparently promoted from the Pastor's secretary to the Church secretary. Not that it's a bad thing, I just now seem to have so many more people telling me what to do. It can get a little trying sometimes.

My kids are now two and a half years and eighteen months old. The eldest thinks she's the boss of the baby, which leads to a great deal of time outs. I'm not the biggest fan of "time out" punishment since I was raised on the switch discipline. You know, mom tells you to go outside and pick out a switch off of a bush. You bring the switch inside so mom can whip you with it. It was a mind game, and it was effective. My children are really well-behaved, which is something I'm proud to say honestly. Obviously with toddlers you have moments of exasperation and feel the urge to pull your hair out (or just run away), but for the most part my children are funny, curious, and really smart. I worry sometimes about how good of a job I do as a mother, but I think that's normal. My husband is a great father, so he helps out a great deal as well.

I'm excited to say that I will be a college student again come August 18th. I have been debating going back to finish school for the past few years, but with marriage, babies, bills, etc., it just kept getting pushed back to a dark cobweb-filled space in my mind. One day in the beginning of April I was talking to my younger cousin (who will be a high school senior this fall) about how exciting it is to graduate and go to college, when I realized how jealous I was of her. So young, so many opportunities right in front of her. At that moment I said to myself, "What are you waiting for?!" I went home, filled out the financial aid stuff and applied for readmission. Exactly one month later I received my acceptance in the mail. Got advised, scheduled my classes and even decided on a major. I've been so excited that I've already bought all of my supplies. My husband has been so extremely supportive, and he also says he's psyched because he's married to a college chick, which is "hot" to him. Hahaha.

I'm a little apprehensive about how I'm going to balance being a wife, mother, student and secretary all at the same time. I have a great suppport system, so I know I shouldn't worry too much. We'll just have to see how it goes...