I'm sitting here at work.
Quite often I find myself with great amounts of free time while I'm forced to endure eight long hours here at this place that enables me to live somewhat comfortably. Most of my free time is usually spent on facebook, which I'm sad to say I have developed an addiction to. I decided yesterday that I would no longer allow myself to waste away so much of my brainpower and precious free moments attempting to save the rainforest by sending and receiving imaginary plants (and little people with plant clothing on, which is kind of creepy) with my facebook pals.
I decided to mess around with my blog, which I have neglected since starting it only a few weeks ago. A friend of mine has one, and after reading a few of her posts I was inspired to create my own. Of course random strangers would love to read about the everyday thoughts and moments that are my life. I wrote two blogs, and then....nothing. What's wrong with me? I always excelled in writing during my education. Heck, I was even offered a journalism scholarship to ULL, which I regrettably declined. I have written short stories, poetry, even made a few attempts at novels over the past seven or eight years.
Writing is part of me. It's who I've always been. Yet somehow, I read the blogs of others here and I feel intimidated. Ridiculous. Almost as if I'm some pretender trying to be cool and keep with the times. The way that people express their thoughts and feelings fascinates me. The wording just flows, humor shows up unexpectedly. I've even felt the urge to cry while reading a few of the more personal blogs. How can I even attempt to be as creative as the others? Will I spend hours writing out blogs that no one will ever read? Will my words just float around in cyberspace for eternity (or until Mr. Gates creates some more advanced form of communication), wasted and useless?
After spending much time obsessing about this, I decided that it didn't matter if no one reads my stuff. Besides, the short stories and poetry that I have shared with friends and family have all been embraced completely. They think I'm funny. Creative. Imaginative. That's all that matters, right?
What's funny to me, though, is that I titled my blog quite fittingly without even knowing. It may not be a big deal to anyone else, but if it's a big deal to me, by God, I'll write about it!
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Jessica,
ReplyDeleteI've never been much of a writer. I don't have much of a vocabulary and never really tried hard to be one, but I've always envied good writers. I found myself feeling much the same as you. This blog from start (too much time at work) to finish could have been me writing. So I know what you mean.
I really pour my heart and soul into some of my blogs because it matters to me. But I found myself asking why do I do it? just so all of my innermost and personal thoughts could float out in cyberspace. never to be read by anyone. I had decided that I didn't care either...just yesterday. And then you came along and became my first follower. Thank you so much for reading. It feels good to know that someone else hears me and feels the same way I do.
P.S. I like your blog too. going to go follow you now.
Wow. It's refreshing to learn that other people have the same thoughts as me sometimes! It makes me feel a little less crazy haha.
ReplyDeleteGlad to be your first follower! I look forward to reading more of your stuff. And also, now we both know that there's at least ONE person reading our blogs! :)