Saturday, March 5, 2011

If I ever divorce Hubs, it will most likely be over movie preferences

After being nice enough to let Hubs use the 52" television in the living room all day to play Xbox basketball, I suggested he turn it off so we could all watch a movie together (ie: something everyone in the family would enjoy).  I thought he would play awesome hubs/dad and pick something fun.  So did he pick a Disney film or a cheesy family movie?

Oh, no.  He picked The Fifth Element. 


First of all, I am not a sci-fi fan at all.  Well, minus a very few exceptions such as X-Men, Terminator 2 and Jurassic Park.  Even Star Wars was pushing it for me.  Hubs, however, is a true nerd.  His DNA strands probably wear tiny pocket protectors.  He owns the original Star Trek movies as well as the entire Deep Space Nine television series.  He plays World of Warcraft.  He has little models of the Enterprise.  He even had a custom-made Jedi costume that he insists on wearing EVERY SINGLE HALLOWEEN.  Sheesh. 

Despite all of this, he's a pretty cool dude.  He's a great hubs and a wonderful father, so you'd think he'd understand that I do not care to watch anything involving robots (except for Wall-E) and/or futuristic costumes (as if everyone in the future would really wear those hideous silver jumpsuit things). 

Let's analyze sci-fi films for a minute.  I can give you perfect examples of why they suck. 

  • Plot lines - I know people like stories about things that normally wouldn't happen, but some of these are so completely out in left field it's ridiculous. 
    • Ex:  Fifth Element (obviously), The Matrix
  • Costumes - not at all realistic, especially when based in the future
    • Ex:  Demolition Man, Star Trek
  • Villians - generally the same villian in every movie - either a creature, aliens or some really ugly guy with weird hair
    • Ex:  Alien, Predator, X-Files
  • Dialogue - It's like they try to make up as many words/races/worlds as possible. 
    • Ex:  Star Trek, Star Wars, Total Recall
Right now there's this hideous dude (presumably the villain) with some kind of clear plastic thing on his head and his hair showing on one side, complete with creepy oily comb-over.  Said dude also has an accent equal to Dallas, Texas.

If you're a sci-fi fan, I hope you'll forgive me for my feelings of the genre. 

As for me, I guess I'll just Facebook until this ridiculous movie ends.


  1. So I have never seen this movie (and thanks to this post I prob never will). This post cracked me up though!

  2. It's a guy thing, serious.

    Every man I have ever dated LOVES the Fifth Element, or can do a two hour debate on why Star Wars is so much better than Star Trek (or vice versa). But I have a tendency to pick nerdy types (which is codeword for your hubs sounds pretty cool!).

    hed hed above water

  3. lol...your hubby has GREAT taste in movies Jess! My hubby dislikes sci-fi so I always end up watching it by

  4. eww i hate sci fi movies tooooo! :p
    too serious, too unrealistic, too scientific.. tsk tsk lol
    luvly blog.. i'm officially ur 86th follower (hint hint!) :)

  5. I'm guessing that one of the reasons most men like the Fifth Element has to do with that red-head.. and that white strappy thing she was wearing? Or maybe I'm thinking of the wrong movie.

    In any case, my DNA strands may have tiny, secret pocket protectors in there, because I do love me some Xena: Warrior Princess sometimes, but otherwise, I wholeheartedly agree with this post. ;)

  6. The only part of Fifth Element I like is the diva aria, even if half of it is electronically generated. hehe.

    BTW, I've been meaning to come over here and wish you a WELCOME BACK! So glad you're back!