If E.T. shows up, we'll be ready. Well, not really...

While perusing MSN this morning, a headline caught my attention: 

"How prepared are we for an alien invasion?"

Really?  On MSNBC, this is considered a top story.  Of course I just had to read the article.

So here's the dealio:

Chinese government is looking into unidentified flying objects that interrupted 18 flights last week.  Obviously, it had to be aliens.

Because of this incident, the writer thought of a question he deemed brilliant (cough -crazy person- cough).  His question:  Do we have an alien-contact contingency plan?

I know, I laughed too. 

First, who comes up with a name like that for a plan?  I'd call it "ET texting plan" or "Alien conversation plan."  (Okay, maybe those aren't the best names, but it's early and I've only had one cup of coffee.  Give me a break.)

According to our conspiracy theorist dependable news source, the U.S. Government actually has a plan in the event of alien contact.  I'm just going to quote the article here, because I couldn't write a summary any funnier than it already is:

"The protocol, adopted in 1989, is that if someone detects a radio signal seemingly indicating that we're not alone, he should get in touch with SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) researchers, who will help him verify whether the signal is really and truly evidence of extraterrestrial intelligence. At that point, he should notify the International Astronomical Union as well as the United Nations and relevant research organizations. On the finders-keepers principle, the discoverer would get to make the first public announcement, but data should be made available to the international scientific community. (Source coordinates, however, would be kept secret, to avoid a situation in which anyone with a radio telescope could start up a conversation.) The next step would be figuring out whether a response signal were warranted and, if so, what message to send—a process that would involve not just scientists but other experts and government appointees. Probably something very simple would be best, like numbers in binary code."


Finders-keepers principle?   Man, I love our government. 

Add a clip from a television show and a quote from Stephen Hawking, and our writer is convinced that if we ever actually do encounter aliens, it will be the prelude to a war that we will effectively lose.  Hurrah. 

Although he did use the term "guerilla warfare," so I have to give at least a little street cred. 

I say if aliens ever show up, we just call Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum and Bill Pullman in to handle it. 

"Now that's what I call a close encounter."