Anyhoo, my mind's wandering, and somehow I go from thinking about the movie I was in the middle of when the power cut off (Porkys, by the way) to Katie Holmes. Don't ask me how, because I have no clue...
First: She's like three feet taller than him. And the chick is always wearing heels, so make it three and a half feet taller.
Second: He's old enough to be her dad (or even possibly a great uncle). Creepy.
Third: I know he's Tom Cruise, but she's still out of his league. I mean really, the dude's a weirdo.
Don't get me wrong. I used to like Tom. Back when he was in Risky Business, Top Gun, A Few Good Men, he was cool. I even thought he was slightly good-looking. Then he started getting strange. Made some weird movies, began with the whole scientology promotional tour, etc. Something was awry, so to speak.
So all of a sudden cutesy Katie Holmes is smitten kitten with creepy old Tom Cruise. And they're making out. Everywhere. Like the king and queen of Hollywood PDA.
Literally, it was getting ridiculous. It was almost like they were trying to prove to everyone that they were actually a couple. Which lead me to believe that maybe this was some sort of a scheme.
Soon after Katie is interviewed in a magazine and is asked about Tom. She says something about how when she was a kid she had posters of him on her walls and she had the biggest crush on him and now she's dating him and how awesome is that.... All I could think was eww.
Then Tom goes on Oprah and is just SO SUPER EXCITED because he's found the love of his life and he wants to tell everyone about how he's
brainwashed romanced Katie and he just LOVES HER SO MUCH.
Before we can even stop talking about that whole fiasco, news breaks that they're engaged. After only dating for a few weeks.
Curiouser and curiouser....
Then - SURPRISE - we find out Katie is pregnant. Aha, says I. Still, eww.
So the world waits patiently for the blessed event, and when it comes......nothing. No pictures, no interviews, nothing. Nada. Zilch. A month goes by, and people start to wonder: was it made up? A publicity stunt? Is there a baby at all? Or is it just really ugly? Speculation runs amok as paparazzi tries uselessly to catch a shot of the mysterious Suri Cruise. Months later, Vanity Fair releases the first ever pictures of quite possibly the cutest baby ever born in the history of the world.
Seven months later, TomKat takes the walk down the aisle in Italy.
As time goes on, the gorgeous family is photographed everywhere, doing everything. Taking Suri for ice cream, playing in the park, shopping, taking walks, et cetera. Every event Tom and Katie go out to, they're hugging or kissing or he has that weird wrist grip on her that he does all the time.
Either way, they do make quite a nice Stepford family.