Wednesday, September 1, 2010

TOTALLY AWESOME 100TH POST CELEBRATION

Wohoo!

Yes indeedy. This is my
Not the 99th, not the 101st. Nope, it's the Big Daddy of milestones in the blogging world, the big
Not sure what the weird stain on the one is....let's not think about that.
Okay, got that out of my system. It won't happen again, I promise.

Today is also coincidentally my three-year anniversary with the hubs.
I'm not going to get all sappy here because who wants to read that, honestly? I will say, though, that I am married to a wonderful man who is my best friend and a great father as well. Happy 3 years hun! LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE!

Now, I told you guys that this post will be ALL ABOUT ME. So I'm going to tell y'all as much as I can about me in as little space as possible. A mini-autobiography, if you will. (I don't want you guys to be here all day, so some details will be omitted, obviously. If I miss something that you're just determined to know about me, ask me and maybe I'll tell you.

So are we ready? Yes?

Okay. Here we go....

May 1984. Cutest baby ever.

Lots of cousins. Small town. Church. Sunday dinners at Mawmaw & Pawpaw's. Lots of moving back and forth between Louisiana and Tennessee.

Me and sis still super-cute.


'Rents part ways. Step-parents and more siblings follow. Teacher's pet. Singer. Elvis impersonator (the Jr. High kids knew me as "that first grader who does Elvis." No lie). Jr. High - Baskeball and softball player. Gifted art. National Jr. Honor Society.
High school ROCKED.

Lots of school spirit. BOYS. More teacher's pet business. Football games enthusiast (we were undefeated District Champs senior year!). Spanish Club. Student Government Association. Singer in a Christian youth band. Drama team.

LOTS of hanging out at Starbucks and the lakefront with my friends. Greatness.






COLLEGE.










Got my first cell phone. (Yes, I'm that old). MORE BOYS. Slacker. Class-skipper. General waste of time and money for two years.

LET'S TAKE A BREAK AND MOVE TO TENNESSEE FOR A YEAR.


New friends (awesome people). Telemarketing job (don't hate me). New boyfriends (losers). Quality time with Dad & TN fam. Great experience.


Move BACK to Louisiana.


Katrina.
6 (SIX!!) weeks without power. UGH.

Lots of working (attorney's office) and going out with friends (karaoke, bonfire parties and the likes). Losers and more losers. Then, finally...

I...........I'm so in love with you.....whatever you want to do.....is alright with MEEeeeeeeeEEEE. 'Cause YOOUUUUUUU make me feel so brand newwwwwww.

Ahem.

Fireworks. Foot-poppin' kiss. All that jazz.

Lots of late nights, cuddling and general goodness. Eventual Christmas Eve morning proposal. Wedding date set for September 1, 2007.....

May 2007 - SURPRISE! - we're pregnant. (Well, I'M pregnant, but you get it.)

September 1, 2007










Best. Day. Ever. Honeymoon. Planning for baby. Planning for baby. Planning.....

January 14, 2008
Baby Girl #1

9lb 11.7 oz

21 inches long

Spent one week in NICU where the nurses gave her the nickname "Chunky Monkey."




April 2008 - SURPRISE - we're pregnant AGAIN!

Learn to be parents. Plan for another baby. Get better at being parents. Plan for baby.

December 16, 2008
Baby Girl #2

7lb 14oz

19 inches long

"Tinkerbell"





Get our own place (FINALLY). Adjust to being parents of two. Life's grand. Our kids are the light of our lives.

And, of course, y'all know that I recently started back at school after a six-year hiatus. Wohoo.

So, life story completed, I'll give a few little extra tidbits for your entertainment:

LOVES - LSU football, the Saints, 80s movies, humor, art, photography, family, roadtrips, walking on the beach at night, the mountains, history, writing, singing, music, Glee, crawfish, double entendres, the sound of rivers, thunder and rain, puppy breath, flip flops, Christmas, rocking chairs, lazy days, riddles and word puzzles, pad thai, concerts, theater, reading, coffee, my iPhone, sarcasm, corny jokes and pickup lines, tshirts, jeans, Robert Frost, Egyptian cotton, parades, sleeping in, learning and hanging out on my grandparents' front porch, the color pink.

HATES - bridges, extreme heights, spiders, ROACHES, Jon & Kate, the octomom, pretentiousness, liars, severe weather, screaming music, traffic, socks, wrestling, Oprah, dust, ignorance, Speidi, yellow traffic lights, vienna sausages and spam, the dark, Michael Myers, 'isms, hypocrisy, that Borat guy and Michael Vick.

Alrighty, that should about cover it.


Now, on to the


Yay! First, thanks everyone who submitted a story. They were all greatly entertaining, and hubs and I thoroughly enjoyed reading them all! You guys are awesome, and it's so cool to have blogging pals and readers who ACTUALLY READ what I post. I love every comment I get. Basically, you guys rock. So thank you.
So, after reading every funny/awful date story submission, the hubs and I debated, then he thought about it...
and thought about it.....
and thought some more....



He's actually a very deep thinker.

FINALLY he made a decision. So, the MOST AWESOME First Date Story Winner is.....

SERENA from I Left My Heart In London....

Wohoo! Yay! Yippy doo! Congrats to you!

Serena submitted the best - or, rather, WORST - first date story, as per hubs' definite and final decision.

Email me at jessicabparnell@hotmail.com to let me know which 80s tee you'd like, in what size, and also your mailing address and I'll get that right out to ya! Yay for 100th Post Celebratory Giveaway Extravaganzas!

Here's our Most Awesome Winner's First Date Story:


My first year in London. This guy from work keeps asking me out. I keep refusing because of some unfinished business I have (or thought I had) with the boyfriend back in Italy. A couple of months later I cave, and take up his offer to go for coffee on a Sunday afternoon. The guy had always been super nice to me, and he seemed like a genuine and serious guy in general.

Boy, was I wrong!?!

We meet up near my underground station. I take three steps towards him to greet him, he grabs ahold of me, pulls me close and gives me a full blown kiss on the lips. I'm like - OKAY!?? I thought you were shy!!!

But it doesn't stop there. We approach the zebra lines to cross the street, and while we are standing and waiting at the traffic lights he leans over and slides his hand down my back and right into my pants and panties. I turn around shocked and glare at him, biting my lips not to scream and make a scene. Trying to remain calm and be polite, I ask him what's up with the embarassing gropefest, and he says he hasn't been on a date in a long time and doesn't know how to control the excitement. I tell him we are just going to have a chat over coffee anyway, so nothing to be excited about, and that if he doesn't behave I'll just turn around and leave. He begs me to stay, he almost shouts to the point that people on the way stop to look at us and give me concerned looks. We get to Starbucks and we order our coffees and cakes. I sit down on the mini-couch, and he sits down next to me...just a couple inches too close for comfort. The cakes arrive. I take a bite of mine and he picks up a piece of his in his hands..only to go and drop it not down but INSIDE my top. Next thing I know his hand is down my tshirt and his fingers are insinuating themselves inside my bra. Why of course, he's JUST TRYING TO TAKE OUT THAT PIECE OF CAKE HE'S *ACCIDENTALLY* DROPPED DOWN THERE!

I'm angry and outraged, and needless to say our date ends right that second. It freaks me out so much I almost put out a warning about the pervert at the office. Just, eewwww!

So much for trusting seemingly nice guys!


That's all, folks!

14 comments:

  1. LOVE the baby pics! You and your kiddos!

    Also, I'm feeling very glad that I only have one very lame first date story!

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  2. Oh yeah, and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

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  3. Congrats on your 100th posts! and Happy anniversary!

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  4. Hey Jess!

    I just found your blog and I found this post hilarious and I just couldn't want until the end to see what this creep did next. I hope that he got the hint and didn't try to approach you anymore. Disgusting.

    Oh and happy 100 posts!

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  5. Jess. We are destined to be BFF's. Wanna know why? Your second daughter was born on my birthday. My 23rd birthday to be exact. (I swear to you that I just had to text my BFF and ask her how old I was so I could do the math. I completely drew a blank) :)

    This was a great post and I enjoyed reading all about you!! Congrats on the 100th post!!

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  6. congrats on everything! lol
    on your 100th post, your anniversary.. your beautiful family!!
    xoxo

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  7. wow! thats some kind of post!!

    looks like you really prepared for this!!! :)


    where'd you get all the time?? i mean i have all day but i ran out of words to type! lol

    anyway i still havnt made a post for that awesome award you gave me but i placed it in my new page to keep track of it and it will be permanently displayed

    http://imissyouhotcakes.blogspot.com/p/book-3-august_01.html

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  8. Thanks guys!

    Kat - the story is by Serena - it's the story she submitted that won the giveaway. :) You should check out her blog also, she's great! Thanks for reading mine!

    Hotcakes - I thought a little bit about it, then just sat down and typed it in about an hour - hour and a half. I already had the pictures on my facebook, so I just had to find the other pictures (maps, school mascot, etc.)
    I never shut up, so basically I always have an abundance of words LOL. Thanks!

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  9. Oh and Jumble - I love when people share birthdays. It makes the world seem not so big after all....

    :) And thanks!

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  10. Your kids are the cutest little munchkins ever! Literally adorable!!!!! xxx

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  11. jess, your comment was funny ;)


    feelin some lesbo lovin' there. lol

    well it was basically for "documentation" purposes anyway :)

    glad you like it hihi

    http://imissyouhotcakes.blogspot.com/2010/08/69-perfect-day-at-boardwalk-santa-cruz_21.html

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  12. Congrats on the 100th post and Happy Anniversary!

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  13. That is the worst first date story ever.

    And, I didn't know you had kids! Cute!

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  14. awwwww....happy anniversary!!! what a fun post!
    your kids are too cute!

    congrats to serena...haha!
    http://thebookworm07.blogspot.com/

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