Anyhoo, after reading about various 80s actors on Wikipedia, browsing every picture of Johnny Depp ever posted online, and reading book reviews for most of the novels on The New York Times best sellers list, I came across a website listing some of the most weird/dumb actual laws in our country.
Of course I have to share some of these with you guys, if only because they're just absolutely ridiculous.
- It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
- Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
- You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
- A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. (Because that would be overkill.)
- Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
- In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. (What?!)
- It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
- It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.
- It is illegal to sell your children. (I thought this was a nation-wide rule?)
- Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. (Um.....OUCH.)
- You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.
- It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
- One may not sniff glue.
- It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
- Biting someone with your natural teeth is “simple assault,” while biting someone with your false teeth is “aggravated assault." (Because there's a difference?)
- You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
- It is illegal to have sex with a cow. (But goats are overlooked. Yep, that actually happened once. At least, that's the story I heard....)
- If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month. (I KNOW this law isn't being upheld.)
- A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.
- It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder. (This one's easy. Aim for the head.)
- It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
- You may not slurp your soup.
- Dishes must drip dry.
- It is illegal to whisper “dirty” things in your lover’s ear during sex. (Well, where's the fun in that?)
- When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone. (Huh?)
- It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
Sorry for the absolute lack of creativity today. I went to school this morning to pick up my student ID, textbooks and parking decal, so I'm slightly distracted due to over-excitement about going back to school after my six-year hiatus. I'll make it up to you tomorrow, I promise!