Well this week sucked.

My Mardi Gras break turned into an awful week.  My stepfather had stroke on Sunday and passed away Tuesday morning. 



Mom, Rick and my babies

 He's had some health problems for the past several years, but this was just totally unexpected.  It's been difficult, but focusing my energy on supporting my mom has helped.  We buried him today, and our friends and family have gone above and beyond for us.  Our church family has prepared meals, visited, called and prayed for us (and will continue to do so).  His best friends have been rocks for my mom, and we just have such a wonderful support system. 

Once we - my mom, myself, sister, stepsiblings, grandparents and his and my mom's best friends - realized he wasn't going to make it and they turned off the machines, we all sat around him in the hospital room for over an hour telling stories, laughing and crying at the same time. 

My mother and Rick have been married for 16 years, so he's been around through most of my life.  He and I butted heads nearly 24/7 throughout my teenage years.  My senior year, near the end of the last month of school, mom and Rick bought me a "new" car - a 1991 Honda Accord.  Gold.  Standard.  I thought it was awesome.  My best friend Tiffany and I decided to skip school, but in order to do that at our school you had to sneak out of the parking lot past a coach we called 007 Graham. 

I was still learning how to drive the standard, so I asked Tiff to drive.  We went a few miles away to a little quick stop to buy cigarettes.  As we backed out of the parking lot, Tiff turned the wheel without looking and ran right up on a light pole.  Broke the driver's side mirror right off.  

After laughing hysterically for about ten minutes, I started to panic because I knew Rick was going to kill me when I got home - not only for wrecking my new car, but for skipping school as well.  By the time school ended, I had come up with a little white lie...

I told mom and Rick that I had gone by Eckerd's after school let out and someone was about to hit me so I swerved to miss him and sideswiped a light pole in the parking lot.  Perfect excuse, right?

Well, it would have been....

If Rick hadn't gone to the Eckerd's parking lot and measured EVERY POLE.

Yep, every pole.  Those poles also happened to be bright yellow, so the lack of yellow paint was a dead giveaway.  Needless to say, I was busted. 

Who does that?!

My stepdad. 

He'll be missed.

Multitasking. OR Reasons I need a clone

So I don't know why I thought I was talented enough to transition into mommy, wife, housekeeper, church secretary AND college student smoothly.  This past week has been craziness. 

I'm exhausted.

Yesterday I thought Okay, I've made it to the weekend.  I can rest.  WRONG.  The laundry had to be caught up, house cleaned, et cetera.  Then this morning I had the bright idea of taking down the girls' cribs and going on a hunt for new beds.  That took almost all day (we just finished putting the new beds together about an hour ago).  So now I've used up an entire day off.  A day I was supposed to rest. 

Tomorrow is church, and it's also my children church team's Sunday to teach.  On top of that, I promised my sister and cousin I'd go to the movies with them after lunch.  We're going to see Vampires Suck, which I really want to watch, but I'm just so tired at this exact moment that I'd honestly prefer staying home and napping.  

I even planned on doing a Face Punch post for today, but didn't have the energy to be annoyed with anyone.

Aside from all of that nonsense, I feel like I didn't see my girls hardly at all this week.  I'm working longer hours since I went from three days to two, and of course school takes a good eight hours a day.  (Before school I was working a mere 12-14 hours a week, and the rest of the time I was stay-at-home mom.)  I also had a get-together with an old friend Thursday night which lasted from six until almost midnight.  No wonder I miss my kids. 

I know after a few weeks I'll adjust and be fine.  It's the initial changing that's the problem.  I'm a creature of habit.  Give me boring repetition - I'm happy with it.  

Someone please tell me I'm not the only one who feels like this...

Put your records on (or in today's case, your iPod)

You're having the worst day possible. Nothing is going right. Your boyfriend dumped you for some younger, hotter chick. You got fired from your mediocre job. While carrying the contents of your desk to your car you drop your cell phone and it breaks. You reach your car to find you have a flat tire. On the verge of a total breakdown, you slide into your car, crank the engine and plan to take a moment to collect yourself before imposing your awful luck on everyone else in the world. Suddenly a song on the radio catches your attention. It's a pop song from your teen years. Back when you were unexperienced, untainted and completely optimistic of the future. Before you know it, you're driving down the road, singing along and you're actually SMILING. How did that happen? It's the music, man....

It's amazing how music can alter a mood. I've been having days like the one mentioned above, and the right song comes on, and suddenly everything doesn't seem quite so dreary. I've been in a great mood, heard a sad song, and suddenly felt melancholy. Alternative music seems to fuel my angry moods, and love songs make me appreciate my husband more. How does that work?

Obviously, not everyone has that emotional tie to music. My husband is one of those people. He hardly ever listens to the lyrics of a song, and never ever sings along. Frustrating. I'll be all mushy sometimes and ask him to listen to a song. Halfway through it I realize his mind is somewhere else entirely. "Are you even listening?" I'll ask, exasperated. "Of course," is his usual reply, until prompted to repeat the chorus, which he cannot.

There are songs on my iPod that I always play when in particular moods. These songs for some reason made me have an emotional reaction, and in return end up in my list of all-time favorites. A few are so personal to me that I don't even like listening to them unless I'm alone.

I won't give reasons for why each of the following songs are on my favorite list, but I'm sharing a few in the hopes that someone will listen to one of them at the right moment, and it will leave an impression on them the same way it did me.


I'm Moving On - Rascal Flatts
It Ends Tonight - All-American Rejects
Something To Belive In - Poison
Don't Stop Believing - Journey
Mexico - Incubus
Stained Glass Masquerade - Casting Crowns
Learn To Be Still - Eagles
She's Got A Way - Billy Joel
Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
Help Me Believe - Nichole Nordeman
The Reason - Hoobastank
November Rain - Guns 'N Roses
Hey Jude - The Beatles
3 a.m. (acoustic) - Matchbox Twenty
Acoustic - Goo Goo Dolls
Nearness of You - Norah Jones
Soul to Squeeze - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
Jaded - Aerosmith
Nobody Knows It But Me - Babyface
Voodoo - Godsmack
Old LA Tonight - Ozzy Osbourne
Look What You've Done - Jet
Cry Me A River - Justin Timberlake
Papercut - Linkin Park
The Memory - Pantera
Broken - Seether
Groovy Kind of Love - Phil Collins

Life.

I've been out of the blogging loop for a few months, so I thought I'd take this post and play catch-up to whoever is willing to read...

Next month I'll hit the one-year mark of working at my church. I still love it. It's a rewarding position for me because I can utilize various skills in so many different areas. My boss, the Pastor, is one of the most encouraging and supportive people I've ever worked for. My work load has been steadily increasing over the past few months as members of the church have realized my talents and abilities, causing them to assign new projects to me. Somewhere in there I was apparently promoted from the Pastor's secretary to the Church secretary. Not that it's a bad thing, I just now seem to have so many more people telling me what to do. It can get a little trying sometimes.

My kids are now two and a half years and eighteen months old. The eldest thinks she's the boss of the baby, which leads to a great deal of time outs. I'm not the biggest fan of "time out" punishment since I was raised on the switch discipline. You know, mom tells you to go outside and pick out a switch off of a bush. You bring the switch inside so mom can whip you with it. It was a mind game, and it was effective. My children are really well-behaved, which is something I'm proud to say honestly. Obviously with toddlers you have moments of exasperation and feel the urge to pull your hair out (or just run away), but for the most part my children are funny, curious, and really smart. I worry sometimes about how good of a job I do as a mother, but I think that's normal. My husband is a great father, so he helps out a great deal as well.

I'm excited to say that I will be a college student again come August 18th. I have been debating going back to finish school for the past few years, but with marriage, babies, bills, etc., it just kept getting pushed back to a dark cobweb-filled space in my mind. One day in the beginning of April I was talking to my younger cousin (who will be a high school senior this fall) about how exciting it is to graduate and go to college, when I realized how jealous I was of her. So young, so many opportunities right in front of her. At that moment I said to myself, "What are you waiting for?!" I went home, filled out the financial aid stuff and applied for readmission. Exactly one month later I received my acceptance in the mail. Got advised, scheduled my classes and even decided on a major. I've been so excited that I've already bought all of my supplies. My husband has been so extremely supportive, and he also says he's psyched because he's married to a college chick, which is "hot" to him. Hahaha.

I'm a little apprehensive about how I'm going to balance being a wife, mother, student and secretary all at the same time. I have a great suppport system, so I know I shouldn't worry too much. We'll just have to see how it goes...

The little joys in life

• my 16 month-old daughter trying to dance along with music playing on the television
• puppies
• a large fountain coke
• rocking chairs on a front porch
• cuddling :)
• singing at the top of my lungs in the car
• DVR
• my 5 month-old giggling at her older sister
• flip flops
• LSU football
• boiled crawfish
• sweet tea
• music
• rain on a tin roof
• reading a good book
• roadtrips
• sunflower seeds
• romantic comedies
• roller skating
• fishing on a hot summer day
• bubble baths
• coffee
• Sunday lunch at Mawmaw's
• Springtime
• Snow days
• slinkies
• walking through a museum
• karaoke
• board games
• sushi
• a day at the park
• walking on the beach at night
• 80s films
• raw cookie dough
• fortune cookies
• F*R*I*E*N*D*S
• double entendres
• Disney films
• drawings by children
• photography
• sarcasm
• Simon Cowell
• "Saved by the Bell" reruns
• live bands
• roly poly bugs
• toe socks
• driving down the road with no particular destination
• bookstores
• coffee shops (I'm talking small-time shops, not Starbucks)
• flea markets
• yard sales
• sock hats
• themed events
• poppyseed muffins
• hoodies
• Egyptian cotton sheets

Rearranging furniture.....or rearranging life?

So, for the past two days Gary and I have been moving furniture around in the girls' room and in our living room. No matter how I set up the rooms, I am not happy. It's as if there is some magnificent solution to the clutter that we have accumulated, but it remains just slightly out of my grasp.

After finding myself disappointed for the third time yesterday, it occurred to me that this attempt at order in my home could be a reflection of some inner turmoil that my subconscious may be dealing with. I decided to stop and meditate on my current place in the universe. Am I happy in my relationship? Definitely. Am I happy being a parent? Absolutely. Do I love my job? For the most part. Are there any problems that I am aware of? Not really. So what is it, then, that escapes my conscious mind, but disturbs my sleep at night?

I went to bed last night still hoping for a light bulb to go off, for some sudden realization to present itself to me. Alas, nothing came. My sleep was interrupted during the night, but not due to an inner conflict. It was my youngest daughter, Anna. Maybe it is she who has a problem, and I am reacting to her sympathetically, unknowingly. She was gassy yesterday...

Despite this situation, I have managed to find an arrangement in both rooms that is suitable to me. For now, anyway.