Freebies

Last night hubs and I had a discussion about our freebies - celebrities we're allowed to hook up with if the opportunity ever presents itself.  This topic comes up whenever watching a movie or tv show starring one of our crushes.

We each have a list of hotties we would want to get down 'n dirty with if given the chance.  Mine is longer than his because he's ridiculously picky.  I don't think hubs is really all that concerned about my list because the only celebrities I've actually met in my life were Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding), Delta Burke, LeAnn Rimes, the dude who played Major Dad and various Christian musicians.

Under the Rule of the Freebie (because rules are necessary for something like this), one cannot get angry with spouse for taking advantage of such an opportunity, unless A) spouse is in California stalking object of affection or B) spouse goes looking for said affair - ie: going backstage at a concert /searching out celebrity on movie locations.  Also, the hooking up can only be a one-time thing.  There has to be limitations, after all.

So in the spirit of Hollywood crushes (because we all have at least one), I've decided to share my list with you.  This in no way is in the hopes that one of my listees will someday happen across this post and decide to pay me a visit....heheh.

Mark Harmon (aka Gibbs)

He's no surprise to those of you who regularly read my blog, since I wrote a love letter to him last month.  I adored Mark as carefree teacher Freddy Shoop in Summer School, and I love him now as an older but still incredibly sexy Leroy Jethro Gibbs.  Rawr.

Johnny Depp

I'm pretty sure this former "sexiest man alive" is on nearly every woman's freebie list.  There's something incredibly sexy about a chameleon, and Johnny Depp is one indeed.  Edward Scissorhands, Cry-Baby, Captain Jack Sparrow, The Mad Hatter, on and on goes the list of personas this brilliant babe has portrayed. 

Patrick Dempsey


Ronald Miller.  Dr. McDreamy.  Andrew Hennings.  Tom Bailey.  He was adorable as a nerd in the 80s (even with the awful dancing), and decades later he's still smokin' hot.  His family man satus just makes him that much more endearing.

Craig Ferguson

I've always considered a sense of humor to be incredibly sexy on a man.  Also sexy is an accent.  Put the two together with good looks and you have funnyman Craig Ferguson of The Late Late Show on CBS.  He's also the king of double entendres, which means more fun at parties. 

Ryan Reynolds

You really need no other explanation than to look at those abs.  Yummy.  However, this hunk is also funny.  Van Wilder showed off his.....uh.....assets, as well as his penchant for comedy.  He's also sarcasticly entertaining in The Proposal. 

As an addendum to my freebie list, I also have a extras list (sort of like honorable mentions).  These are the guys I can make out with, but no more.  Unless they ask nicely.  And we're in a different time zone. 

Colin Farrell

 Joshua Jackson

 Justin Timberlake

 Matthew McConaughey

 Richard Gere

 Zac Efron

MmmHmmm.  Yes indeedy. 

Also, since there are a very few guys who read my stuff, I've also decided to include the hubs' list.  Enjoy.

Ashley Judd

 Kate Beckinsale

 Salma Hayek

 Sandra Bullock

Editor's Note:  For those of you shaking your head and thinking we actually condone extramarital affairs - this whole Freebie thing is really just something we came up with out of boredom and for laughs.  

Love Letter to Gibbs

Dear Mark,

First, can I call you Gibbs? I'm sure you don't mind. So I'll start again.

Dear Gibbs (ahhh),

It all started many years ago. I was a very young girl the first time I saw you. I turned the television to HBO - back when it came free with cable - and a movie called "Summer School" was on.



There you were: handsome, charming and funny as you dealt with misfit kids and chased after Kirstie Alley. Not only did you have a rockin' bachelor's pad on the beach, you had a dog, too. All it took was one of those heart-stopping grins and I was smitten kitten.

Yes, I said smitten kitten.

You made appearances here and there, on shows and in films. I was happy to see you on St. Elsewhere as Dr. Bobby Caldwell for a few years, but then you got HIV from whoring around - it's okay, I forgive you - and eventually died.



After that I stalked you via magazine - hello People's Sexiest Man Alive 1986 - and television. I watched you portray a serial killer and Cybill Shepherd's love interest (why would you do something like that?!). Then, thankfully, you returned to the medical field a la Chicago Hope.



Thank you Jesus for scrubs. YUM.

Ahem.

Anyhoo, I didn't see you for a few years, and I must admit I wasn't terribly distraught - what with college, boys and work to keep me busy. I confess my attentions did meander a bit to the likes of Justin Timberlake, Matthew McConaughey, Ryan Reynolds and Johnny Depp. Before you get upset, let me reassure you that the feelings I felt for them didn't even remotely compare to the love and affection I feel for you. I moved on, but never forgot you...

Then, one day out of the blue, there you were:





Leroy. Jethro. Gibbs. In all of your gray - ie: SEXY - hair and gorgeous glory. CBS gave me the best present ever and made you the main man of NCIS. Not only that, but you're a single man. Sure, you'll hook up with a red-headed chick here and there, but nothing serious. I'm all for the casual roll in the hay, just as long as I don't have to see it.

I see you week after week, solving murders and whacking those crazy kids DiNozzo and McGee in the back of the head. On a rare occasion you'll give that million dollar mega-watt smile and my heart will melt all over again.

I know our love will never be more than just admiration from afar, although I have told my husband repeatedly that if the opportunity ever presented itself, I'd drop him in a heartbeat to be with you. He's cool with it.

So with all of that being said, I shall end this letter with a promise. Keep being Gibbs, and I'll keep being your creepy, way younger but still smitten kitten - yes, I said it again - fan,

Jess