Face Punch

Happy Sunday everyone! I trust the weekend has been a wonderful and happy one for you all.  If not, don't worry - another one will come around again in five days. 

I'm in one heckuva great mood today, mostly because I start back at school on Wednesday.  Excited doesn't even begin to cover it. College sophomore at 26.  Man, I'm old.  Still, age can't rain on my parade!  Got my backpack, binders, paper, pens, highlighters.  I even bought some of those little colored tabs for important notes.  I'm like the professional student.  Don't be jealous - all items can be found at your local superstore. 

Anyhoo, sometimes even when it's a great day, people still need a good knock in the head.  Because let's face it, idiots are running rampant throughout this world.  An overabundance of stupidity, if you will.

In order to deal with the activities of so many morons, we have things like Face Punch.  Makes us feel as if we're taking back control.... one snide comment at a time. 

Today is mostly just venting frustration about things I'm SICK TO DEATH of hearing about.  Same stories over and over. And over.  Again.  So here we go...

Everyone and everything having to do with "The Hills"

Speidi.  That other Montag girl.  The Audrina-catfight-with-every-other-chick-on-the-show incidents.  I could really care less what you spoiled rich kids (with no idea about real life or responsibilities or work) are up to on a day-to-day basis.  "Did you see what happened last night on The Hills?"  No, I don't know and I DON'T CARE.  Go away.  I also don't care to see them on the cover of celebrity magazines.  I want to read about real celebrities.  You know, the ones who are famous for actually doing stuff.   (I had the same pet peeve about Paris Hilton.)

I think someone told me "The Hills" ended, so that's good.  Hopefully there are no more spinoffs. 


The (now single) dude who let his girlfriend get hit by a foul ball

What. A. Loser.   Even the announcer said, "Chivalry is dead."  Haha.

Okay, so I know dude didn't have a glove, but couldn't he man up and at least attempt to catch the ball instead of cowering away like a little girl and letting his obviously not athletically-inclined gf get drilled?

They were interviewed on one of those morning shows afterwards and it was quite obvious the girl had already dropped this dork like a bad habit.  I don't blame her. 

Dude, you get a face punch just for needing to grow a pair. 

Brett Favre

First, dude was too old to play for the NFL about seven years ago. 
Second, the whole "I'm retiring.....no wait, maybe not.......you know what?  Yeah I am........Well, maybe next year...."  crap is getting annoying, dude.  Either retire or don't.  If you retire, you'll be able to keep some of your dignity.  If not, you'll need hip replacement soon and just continue to make more of a mockery out of a career that used to be legendary.  At first it was slightly interesting, but now it's just sad. 





That's all I've got for today, because in addition to my already great day, my bestie Mo is coming to visit me tonight. 

YAY! 

And when we get together this is us:

except we don't actually chest bump, because I'm a chick.  Ow.
Hope y'all have a great rest of the day!

Buh-bye.

Accidental Text = Entertainment

Yesterday I was minding my own business, texting friends and playing Frontierville on Facebook (It's a sad addiction. They should have Apps Anonymous for people like me). Suddenly I get one of those texts that let you know it's someone on yahoo messenger or some text app for iPhone. I open the message and it's from a girl who I am quite positive I do not know. We'll call her Jane and the intended recipient Joe. This is the initial message (NOTE: I will be using said girl's exact spelling. This is to help you form an educated opinion.):

Jane: Heeeeeeeeey , Mister Fly ,(:

Now, obviously I am not a man, and no one refers to me as Mister Fly - at least not to my face. I text my buddy Mo. "I know I should tell her she's got a wrong number, but now I'm really curious as to why a male would have the nickname 'Mister Fly.'" His suggestion: play this out. I'm bored, so I figure why not. Here you have our conversation:

Me: Who's mister fly?
Jane: Yuuuu , Rememberrr ?
Me: Refresh my memory.
Jane: Joee ! Yuuuur soo stupiiiiid !
Me: Just humor me. Tell me a story.
Jane: Huh ? Hahahahahahaa .

After that last response I realize she has no idea what the phrase "humor me" means, which implies that she's A) an idiot, or B) someone under the age of 13 (I'm being generous here). Let's continue...

Me: Why do you call me mister fly?
Jane: Nvm !
Me: Please?
Jane: No ,

And since I could NOT stop myself, I said:

Me: Don't you love me anymore?
Jane: Uhmmm , ?

Now I'm thinking that I may have just made things a tad uncomfortable for poor Joe the next time he sees Jane. Oh well. I can't just do this thing halfway.

Me: Come on, Jane.
Jane: Idkkk .
Me: Why not?
Jane: I DUNNO .

About three minutes pass, then

Jane: ohh , yes I do .(:
Me: That's better. Now will you tell me why you call me mister fly?
Jane: Yeah , do yuu lovee mee !?

Okay, I know this is morally wrong. To toy with the emotions of some Hannah Montana-loving, teeny bopper tween is possibly damaging to her emotional stability. However, I have nothing better to do at the moment and my friends are getting a good laugh out of it. Plus I still haven't learned why she calls him Mister Fly. Thus, I continue.

Me: That depends.
Jane: FROG ?
Me: Details please.
Jane MisterFly ;
Me: Well that's not details.
Jane: Uhmmm , idr.

What does "idr" mean? I still haven't found someone who can explain that. "I don't remember" maybe?

Me: Please, Jane! Tell me the story of how I came to be Mister Fly.
Jane: idr , ! i promise .
Me: Well that's disappointing.
Jane: gtg chherr (cheer?) , ttyl (I know that one).

Ah, so the plot thickens. She's a cheerleader. I would say that explains so much, but I have friends who are former cheerleaders, and I love them deeply and would like to keep them as friends. So, her being a cheerleader had no impact whatsoever on my opinion.

Jane disappeared into the night, and I never solved the mystery of Mister Fly. A few friends speculated about the meaning (never zips his fly, sexual references, maybe he's slimy, etc.), but we never came to a solid conclusion.

So, waste of a good half hour. Oh well, at least I was entertained.

On a side note, if you know anyone who actually spells like this, please take them to an English teacher immediately. I beg you. There isn't a cure for stupidity, but together we can find a way.