Abnormal News Day

I haven't done one of these in a really long time, but I'm not entirely sure why. There's been plenty of abnormal news. Oh well. Here we go again...

First up, can I just say:

WHAT is up with birds falling from the sky and fish suddenly dying in massive amounts?

According to MSNBC, something like 5,000 blackbirds just dropped from the sky a few days ago. All of them dead or dying. Autopsies revealed no illnesses or poison. Odd.

Then in the SAME STATE (Arkansas) over 100,000 fish suddenly died in a river.

A few days later, 500 more birds fell from the sky in Louisiana. Not near me, thankfully. I would have freaked out had massive amounts of birds just randomly begun falling from the sky.

Then today it was reported that more birds suddenly died and fell out of the sky in Sweden and Kentucky.

Is it me or does this seem sort of like a Stephen King novel? Where's Jack Nicholson? If he starts acting weird, I'm building a bomb shelter.

Unkillable Cow

The next time you come across a cow, use caution. According to the story of an elderly woman, her husband was out repairing a fence when he was attacked by a crossbred cow. She heard his screams and ran to his aid to find that he had already shot the cow at least once with his .22 caliber pistol.

In order to help her husband, she hit the cow repeatedly with her husband's truck, which apparently didn't affect the cow. After that she shot it in the face several more times. The cow STILL didn't die. It was, however, contained. The elderly man was sent to the hospital in critical condition.

In my head all I can picture is this:













Close inspection of the cow revealed that it had radioactive chemicals in its bloodstream.






Just kidding.

Had you there for a second, didn't I?

Abnormal News Day

Looks like there's a new type of terrorist in town: ants.

Yes, the little bugs that live in mounds and eat your food at picnics.

According to ecologist Mark Moffett, he has proof that some ants are "suicide bomber" ants. 

I know, I was shocked too.  

Supposedly these ants are fed up with the insect government and have begun strolling into bug banks and schools with sticks of dynamite strapped to their chests. 

I kid. 

What this genius did was find a tree that was home to these angry ants.  He set a trap for other ants by spreading honey along the trunk.  Then he waited.

And waited.

Finally another species of ant and his buddies caught wind of the honey and decided to wander up the tree to find the source.  The first ant made it out alive, but only barely.  To quote the scientist: "That one would live another day."  How dramatic.  The second ant - an idiotic fellow - wandered up the tree next and got a wee bit too close to crazy ant. 

Crazy ant went all ninja and made herself "detonate,"  effectively killing her and the unfortunate dummy as well.  Our scientist was quick-draw McGraw and got a picture of the massacre. 

The yellow stuff is toxic

Dr. Brilliant described the scene: "Just as I clicked the shutter there was a splash of yellow, and both ants were immobilized in a sticky, grotesque tableau." 

Indeed. 

Moffett goes on to describe other species of ant that have the ability to flatten their heads, kill off entire groups of themselves at a time, and make their limbs detach at will.

So, next time you come across an ant, BEWARE.  They just might blow snot on you. 

You can read the entire article here .