Abnormal News Day

Looks like there's a new type of terrorist in town: ants.

Yes, the little bugs that live in mounds and eat your food at picnics.

According to ecologist Mark Moffett, he has proof that some ants are "suicide bomber" ants. 

I know, I was shocked too.  

Supposedly these ants are fed up with the insect government and have begun strolling into bug banks and schools with sticks of dynamite strapped to their chests. 

I kid. 

What this genius did was find a tree that was home to these angry ants.  He set a trap for other ants by spreading honey along the trunk.  Then he waited.

And waited.

Finally another species of ant and his buddies caught wind of the honey and decided to wander up the tree to find the source.  The first ant made it out alive, but only barely.  To quote the scientist: "That one would live another day."  How dramatic.  The second ant - an idiotic fellow - wandered up the tree next and got a wee bit too close to crazy ant. 

Crazy ant went all ninja and made herself "detonate,"  effectively killing her and the unfortunate dummy as well.  Our scientist was quick-draw McGraw and got a picture of the massacre. 

The yellow stuff is toxic

Dr. Brilliant described the scene: "Just as I clicked the shutter there was a splash of yellow, and both ants were immobilized in a sticky, grotesque tableau." 

Indeed. 

Moffett goes on to describe other species of ant that have the ability to flatten their heads, kill off entire groups of themselves at a time, and make their limbs detach at will.

So, next time you come across an ant, BEWARE.  They just might blow snot on you. 

You can read the entire article here .

Attack of the killer ants!

Okay, so they're not really killer ants, but they are so annoying. For the past two weeks we've been dealing with these tiny nuisances, who are attempting to eat everything in our house. I've had to throw out over half of the food in our cabinets. It's so frustrating!

Our nemesis first appeared by the front door after a few days of consistent rain. It wasn't a big deal at first - it's expected for bugs to try to find dry land when it's wet outside. We sprayed, got rid of them and assumed it was over. Three days later, Gary noticed something moving on our chocolate suede sofa. Closer inspection revealed that ants had made a home in our couch! Apparently Hayden had been hiding her leftover goldfish in the cracks of the couch, and I had failed to notice. We got them out of the couch, and I crossed my fingers that they were gone for good.

This past Sunday I opened the cabinet to get some ritz crackers, and to my dismay the ants had found them first. There must have been a few hundred of those little bandits feasting on everything that wasn't sealed airtight. I had to throw out bags of corn chips, my ritz crackers, and most of Hayden's snack crackers. Got rid of those ants, and the next day more showed up in the bathroom! (The bathroom???) Sprayed again.

Yesterday they migrated to yet another of our cabinets, which didn't have any food in it but held all of our teabags. Threw those in the trash. Sprayed AGAIN. Finally Gary got under the house last night and sprayed some serious poison. Then he sprayed along the walls, windows, in every crevice, any and all possible points of entry. When Gary got up for work this morning, he discovered that they had somehow bypassed the poison in the laundry room and were crawling all over our clothes! AAAAHHHHHH! I'm starting to think they're indestructible.

My main concern is that they'll end up in the babies' beds during the night and I'll wake up to my children covered in ants. It's enough to give me nightmares.

Maybe I should buy some bugs that eat ants and set them loose in the house. Or we could just move...