Abnormal News Day

I haven't done one of these in a really long time, but I'm not entirely sure why. There's been plenty of abnormal news. Oh well. Here we go again...

First up, can I just say:

WHAT is up with birds falling from the sky and fish suddenly dying in massive amounts?

According to MSNBC, something like 5,000 blackbirds just dropped from the sky a few days ago. All of them dead or dying. Autopsies revealed no illnesses or poison. Odd.

Then in the SAME STATE (Arkansas) over 100,000 fish suddenly died in a river.

A few days later, 500 more birds fell from the sky in Louisiana. Not near me, thankfully. I would have freaked out had massive amounts of birds just randomly begun falling from the sky.

Then today it was reported that more birds suddenly died and fell out of the sky in Sweden and Kentucky.

Is it me or does this seem sort of like a Stephen King novel? Where's Jack Nicholson? If he starts acting weird, I'm building a bomb shelter.

Unkillable Cow

The next time you come across a cow, use caution. According to the story of an elderly woman, her husband was out repairing a fence when he was attacked by a crossbred cow. She heard his screams and ran to his aid to find that he had already shot the cow at least once with his .22 caliber pistol.

In order to help her husband, she hit the cow repeatedly with her husband's truck, which apparently didn't affect the cow. After that she shot it in the face several more times. The cow STILL didn't die. It was, however, contained. The elderly man was sent to the hospital in critical condition.

In my head all I can picture is this:













Close inspection of the cow revealed that it had radioactive chemicals in its bloodstream.






Just kidding.

Had you there for a second, didn't I?

Abnormal News Day

Normally I just pick one abnormal news story, but there are a few different stories that caught my attention this morning.  The kind of stories that make you do the head-tilt and "Say what?" noise.  You know, like dogs do. 

Just go with me on this.

Anyhoo, from cooking cats to plants growing inside the body, it's been a busy week in the weird news world.  So sit back, relax, have a cup 'o joe with a bagel, and enjoy.


Police discover cat "marinating" in car trunk

(I know, my first thought was "huh?" as well.)

According to MSN, a New York cop was performing a routine traffic stop when he heard meowing coming from the offender's trunk.  Further inspection led to the discovery of dude's adorable cat in a cage, covered in oil, crushed red peppers and chili peppers. 

I wish I had been there for the interrogation that followed.

Dude says his cat is ill-tempered, so as punishment he planned to COOK his cat.  Like a meal.  To eat. 

WHAT?!

Aside from the obvious questions, one particular stood out:

If you were going to cook the cat for eating purposes, wouldn't you shave his hair off first?

Just a thought. 

Thankfully the cat was rescued, cleaned and put up for adoption.  Vegans only need apply, please.


Woman uses diaper in traffic beef

The chick in this story takes road rage to a whole new level.

While leaving a county fair, two women got stuck in traffic, and for reasons unknown got into a dispute.  One of the women decided the best way to make her point would be to get down 'n dirty.  Literally.

She took a dirty diaper - from where, I'm not sure - and smeared baby poop all over the other woman's windshield.

I'd say she won that argument.  She was, however, charged with harrassment. 


Oxford says no to "faboosh" words

Been waiting patiently for words like "cankles" and "tanorexia" to show up in the Oxford English Dictionary so you'll have permission to use them in that English essay about the difference between Kirstie Alley and George Hamilton? 

Too bad.

According to Oxford's senior assistant editor Fiona Mooring, current slang will not be included in the OED until there is sufficient evidence of their usage, preferably in published writings over a period of time.

A few examples of words that have yet to be accepted:

Chimping: the action or practice of immediately reviewing each shot taken using a digital camera (I do that.)

Chin-strap: a type of beard, shaped in a narrow strip along the jawline

Faboosh: fabulous

Flashpacking: luxurious backpacking

Twetiquette: Twitter etiquette

So, if you're hoping to see OMG, IDK, chillax, and other text-talk or slang words show up in the dictionary, don't hold your breath.  It'll be a good decade or two. 

Until then we'll just have to stick with Urban Dictionary.


Moving on...


Plant grows in man's lung

This story is just beyond bizarre. 

Dude is eating dinner.  Let's say it's baked chicken.  As a side, he has green peas.  One of those little guys decides to go down the wrong pipe and settles in dude's lung.  Pea then over time begins to GROW into a pea PLANT inside dude's LUNG. 

WHAT?!

See the video below.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

You'll think twice before hoovering your peas next time, won't you? 

I will.

That's all the abnormal news for today, kids!

In case I don't see ya....

good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!

(I may make this my "signature"...)