Book Four of the 7 Fantabulous Re-Reads: American Psycho

First let me say that this novel is not for those who are uncomfortable with graphic violence and sexual content.   This serial killer is WAY out there.

In American Psycho, author Bret Easton Ellis introduces us to Patrick Bateman, a well-to-do Wall Street businessman who hangs with other equally boring yuppies and has an affection for Peter Gabriel and Huey Lewis and the News.  Patrick is engaged to Evelyn, a woman who he doesn't really care for, and who he suspects is having an affair with his friend.  Patrick, Evelyn and their friends spend their nights trying to get into the newest clubs and restaurants, flaunting their wealth and snorting cocaine in bathrooms.  While to others Patrick appears to be just another rich guy enjoying life, he spends his nights as a serial killer and having obsessive compulsive tendencies to be absolutely perfect in every way.

It takes a long while before the actual murders start, but throughout the first half of the novel Patrick makes comments to his friends about being a psychopath, but his friends always misunderstand what he's saying or think he's being funny.  Patrick has affairs with random women, and it's with these women that he acts out his sick desires, including toture, cannibalism and mutilation.  As his ability to keep his public and personal lives separate, Patrick begins to lose control.  

I think maybe I'm in too jolly of a mood, and because of that I sort of just robotically read through the novel this time around.  I didn't really invest too much feeling in it, which is strange for me, especially since this story is so disturbing.  After publishing American Psycho, Ellis received a great deal of complaints, and "concerned" groups even tried having the book banned in various cities.  Although yhr novel contains some truly dark and awful content, Ellis' ability to create such a complex character is deserving of at least the same courtesy as Stephen King.

Up Next:  The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Good Old Days

Every once in a while I'll be watching an old movie, or having a conversation about the good old days and I'll suddenly remember something from my childhood/teen years/early 20s that I loved so much, but have since forgotten.  Some of them are things I just took for granted, and some are things that have been replaced with "bigger and better" in the world of technology and television.  Here are some of the things I really miss from the days when life was about having fun and being fancy free:

MTV's Singled Out

 How awesome was this show?!  Jenny McCarthy and that guy who looked like the older

brother from Boy Meets World matching up 20-something singles by way of game show. 

It was raunchy, dirty and funny.  I loved it.

Sleeping In

Ah, the days before having children who think sunrise is the perfect time to wake up.

Impulsive Road Trips

It's Friday afternoon and you're off the next Monday.  You're bored. 

Friend says, "Hey, let's go to Atlanta."  You say, "Okay!"  Good times.

 

Writing notes

You remember....spending an entire class period doodling little designs and writing your

friend's name out in multiple colors and shapes, then writing the note in alternating ink colors. 

After that, of course you had to fold it in some strange, awesome way.

Snail mail

Before the e-mail/chat/facebook era.  They usually started out, "Dear Jess."  I have a storage bin full of letters from friends who lived in different states.  We all used to write each other at least once a month before internet killed the postal service.  Sometimes I really hate the internet (until I remember if it weren't for internet I couldn't blog with you fine people, and then I get over it).

Summer vacation

No school, no work, no getting up early.  Nothing but fun, sleeping in, swimming and general laziness. 

Also, watching The Price is Right all morning because there's nothing else on tv.

Watching a movie for the 100th time and suddenly getting a

 grown-up joke or understanding what's really going on.

Above is one of the best examples.  I watched this movie a gazillion times as a child,

 and then one day when I was about 14, I realized what he was doing. 

I screamed, turned off the movie and didn't watch it again until I was 17.

Believing in Santa Claus

My sister and I every year would try to stay awake all night so we could meet him. 

We always fell asleep though.  I think Mom was slipping us NyQuil....

Slumber Parties

Makeovers, "light as a feather, stiff as a board,"  movie marathons, giggling, all-around fun.  (P.S.  I'm pretty

 sure the kid at the bottom right and the kid at the top left of the picture are boys.  This concerns me a little...)

Being in a band

I was in a band with four of my best friends from my church youth group when I was 15-16.  We practiced

 more than anything (we only actually played in front of people ten or eleven times), but we had a blast. 

What are some of the things you really miss? 

Book Three of the 7 Fantabulous Re-Reads: Island of the Blue Dolphins

The first time I read this novel, about sixteen years ago, I loved it.  We had to read it for school, and I so enjoyed the story of Karana that I read it through three times before the rest of my class had finished it. 

The Island of the Blue Dolphins (so named because if you stand at the highest ridge on the island, the island appears to be in the shape of a dolphin) is a small island, inhabited by a tribe of Indians, the tribe of Ghalas-at, with the chief's daughter Karana as the main character.    Karana's mother died years before so she and her older sister care for their father and younger brother, Ramo.

The Ghalas-at tribe is peaceful, and are only cautious and weary when a group of men, called Aleuts, show up on the island to hunt otter.  Karana's father allows the men to hunt on the promise that they will share half of their catch before they leave at the end of the summer.  When the time comes for the Aleuts to leave, it becomes evident they have no intention of making good on their word, so the chief and the men of the tribe go to the beach to confront the men.  A battle breaks out, and most of the men, including the chief, are killed. 

A new chief is appointed, and he decides the indians need to leave the island.  He leaves to find a new land and promises to return with a ship.  The tribe waits for him for a long time, but he does not return.  After winter passes, a ship comes to take the tribe, as they were instructed by the chief.  They all leave the island, but in the process Karana is separated from Ramo.  As the ship is sailing away, she sees that Ramo has been left behind on the island, but the captain will not turn around so Karana jumps ship and swims back to her brother.  The ship sails away, leaving the two of them all alone.

Almost immediately Ramo is killed by wild dogs, and Karana finds herself alone, without weapons and unsure of how to make them.  She can't bear to stay in the village, so she burns it down and decides to find a new place to live.  She begins to learn how to make weapons and use them, build a shelter, mend canoes and fight off the wild dogs.

As time passes, Karana learns that she is capable of doing anything she sets her mind to, and finds that although she is alone, she can befriend some of the local animals to ease the loneliness.  She tames a wild dog, catches birds, helps an injured otter and tries, but fails, to keep a fox as a pet. 

The story is one of great personal growth and survival.  It's actually based on a true story, which makes it even more interesting.  The novel is only 181 pages, and it's meant for young readers, so it's a quick and easy read.  I still suggest it to anyone and everyone, because Karana is such an endearing character.

Next up:  American Psycho!

Book Two of the 7 Fantabulous Re-Reads: Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe

First off, I have to make a confession with this one.  Usually I insist on reading novels before ever watching a film, but it was reversed this time.  The movie Fried Green Tomatoes has been one of my most favorite movies since I was very young.  My mother, aunts and older cousins all watched it all the time, and it soon became a beloved to me as well.  It wasn't until my preteens that I realized the movie was based on a novel, and of course, I had to read it then. 

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg is more a favorite novel because of the movie, I think.  The novel isn't absolutely fabulous, or even very captivating.  I love it because it gave me more insight to the characters, and specifically, it let me see deeper into the relationship between Idgie and Ruth.

The novel is one of those odd works that continually flashes from the past to the present, and all over the place, so it takes a few pages before you adjust.  Evelyn Couch is a middle-aged woman, afraid of death and afraid of life.  She's in a loveless marriage, and constantly confused by the way people act.  On a routine visit with her mother-in-law at a retirement home, Evelyn meets Ninny Threadgoode.  Ninny is another "guest" at the retirement home, and her ramblings about the old days soon catch Evelyn's attention as she learns about life in the 30s and 40s in Whistle Stop, Alabama.

The Threadgoode family is one of the largest and most well-known in town.  They treat colored peopel fairly and are the most generous people around.  Their home becomes the favored place for picnics, weddings and celebrations.  People meet and fall in love at the Threadgoode home, and Ninny's stories mostly revolve around young Idgie Threadgoode, the tomboyish baby of the family.   After Idgie's older brother and best friend Buddy dies, Idgie refuses to get close to people.  This goes on for a few years, until a young woman named Ruth comes to stay with the Threadgoodes for the summer as a church youth aid.  Young Idgie immediately becomes infatuated with Ruth, and an odd relationship begins between the two.

The novel takes us simultaneously through Evelyn's personal crises and the war, depression and everyday life of a small Alabama town.  The more Evelyn learns about Idgie, the more confident she becomes.  She begins to think of herself as having an alter ego, Towanda, whose only goal is to right wrongs and take down evildoers.  It's hilarious, really.  She almost seems as if she's going off the deep end.

At the same time, we see Ruth move away to be married to a Georgia man named Frank Bennett, and Idgie is heartbroken.  Ruth's devil of a husband is abusive, and she eventually gets the nerve to leave him and rejoin Idgie in Whistle Stop.  Soon after Ruth's return, she realizes she is pregnant.  Ruth and Idgie open a small cafe and after Ruth's ex-husband comes sneaking around, he mysteriously disappears.    Investigators suspect Idgie and her hired man Big George, but no body and no evidence leads them to drop the case.   Years later, though, Frank Bennett's truck is found near Whistle Stop, and Idgie and Big George are charged with murder.

While reading the story, Idgie and Evelyn become similar characters in your mind, and you root for them both fervently because they're such wonderful characters. 

Although I enjoy the novel, I have to say that this is the one and only exception where I love the movie more than the book. 

Next up:  Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O'Dell

Book one of the 7 Fantabulous Re-Reads: The Other Boleyn Girl

On Friday I told y'all that I'm attempting to re-read seven of my most favorite novels in order to make the time between now and November 26th pass faster.  Well, book one was a partly-historically-accurate-and-partly-malarky novel about the Boleyn sisters Mary and Anne, and their affairs with England's King Henry VIII.

I love this novel because despite some of the inaccuracies, you feel like you're really getting a glimpse into what life was like for a 15th century courtier and life among royals.  Growing up American, we have no real appreciation or understanding of the history of pride in a royal family, or living under the rule of a king or queen.  The whole concept of a royal heirarchy and birthrights and all of that is just an alien idea, and that's mostly why, I think, I enjoyed this one so much.

Author Philippa Gregory introduces us to young Mary Boleyn at the young age of 13, having just been married off and starting out in the service of Queen Katherine of Aragon, aka Henry VIII's first wife.  Mary belongs to the Howard family on her mother's side, and the Boleyn family on her father's side.  The Howards have great ambitions in regards to title, wealth and station.  Her uncle, a Howard, is the most ambitious of them all, and the head of the family.    When Mary catches the eye of the young, attractive king, her uncle orders Mary away from her husband to seduce and bed the king in order to advance the Howard family. 

Mary's older sister, Anne, returns to the court from France soon after she's caught the king's eye, and as Anne is witty, beautiful and smart, it becomes Anne's job to keep the king interested in Mary and away from all other girls vying for his attention.  Anne is resentful of her orders because she considers herself to be much better than Mary, and the two are bitter rivals. 

Mary is young, unsure and afraid, but she does as she is told, and thus becomes a favorite of Henry and soon finds herself in love with the king of England.    After much effort on the part of Mary, Anne, their brother George and the rest of the Howard family, Mary ends up mother to two of the king's children.  Despite Mary's good nature and obvious fertility, the king begins to lose interest in Mary, thanks to Anne. 

Mary soon learns that Anne has her own agenda, and it is to take Queen Katherine's place as Queen of England.  It is clear that Anne is determined, will stop at nothing and will do anything and everything she must in order to take the throne. 

As the lies, risks and gambles of the Howard family become more and more outrageous, Mary tires of life in the court and wishes for nothing more than to be left to her children and love. 

This book is a delicious read, not only for the saga of Mary and Anne Boleyn and their fight for the throne, but also because it's packed with good humor, some wonderful romance and, of course, an actual love story thrown in as well.  Mary's eventual true love interest is a good, honest man and you find yourself rooting so hard for Mary that you really want Anne to lose(which, as we all know, she does). 

I don't know if the real Anne Boleyn was anything like she is in this novel, but if so, I don't blame Henry for having her beheaded.  The woman was a snake.  Awful. 

I told the hubs it's a good thing I wasn't living during that time, because I'd have been one of those stubborn women who refused to do as she was told.  The hubs laughed and agreed with me.  Yes, indeedy.


Next up:  Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg

Veterans Day

I know not all of my readers are Americans, but today I have to pay respect and give thanks to the men and women who have fought and are still fighting to protect and preserve the way of life we all take for granted every day. 

Families go without husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, cousins and friends every day because they're off in some foreign country, helping others achieve peace, protecting our peace, and making the world a better place. 

Below is a tribute video I found on YouTube, accompanied by Norah Jones singing.  Beautiful song, beautiful video.

Thank you Veterans and active duty military men and women.  God Bless you all.

Movie Delight Monday

I can't believe it's November.  Thanksgiving is in two and a half weeks, and Christmas is only four weeks after that! AHHH! 

I love fall, and especially all of the holidays crammed back to back, but I feel like I don't have time to prepare and decorate properly.  The good thing is, though, that starting on Thanksgiving Day, I can watch Christmas Vacation every day until Christmas! (It's a tradition,and yes, we watch it every single day between Thanksgiving and Christmas.)

Now that October is over, we can move away from the horror movie genre (yay!) and back to classic favorites of mine.  Today I'm sharing what is one of the best movies EVER, and also my favorite role Val Kilmer has played.  Yes indeedy, I'm talking about

 

Interesting Note:  Today is actually the anniversary of the death of the famous Doc Holliday. 

Aside from the awesomeness of Kilmer as Doc Holliday (I'm your huckleberry), the rest of the cast is really talented and the story plays out suspensfully and dramatically.  I can't praise this film enough to do it justice.

We start out with Wyatt Earp (Kurt Russell), retiring from years of being a devoted and legendary peace officer, moving to the town of Tombstone, Arizona, along with his wife Mattie, bothers Virgil (Sam Elliott) and Morgan (Bill Paxton) and their wives. 

Tombstone is a bustling mining town with great potential.  Wyatt's good friend Doc Holliday happens to be in Tombstone as well, so their friendship picks back up with Wyatt becoming concerned as Doc's failing health becomes more evident.

A new theatre troup has also just arrived in town, sparking a flurry of excitement among the townsfolk.  Unfortunately, the outskirts of Tombstone are beging tormented by a gang called the Cowboys, and as they make their way into Tombstone, the local law enforcement begins a campaign to convince Wyatt to join the fight.    

Wyatt is loyal to his wife, but she's slowly becoming addicted to laudanum, and he's caught the eye of the beautiful actress who came into town with the theatre troup. 

Wyatt and his brothers attempt to start a gambling business and salon, and all is well until one of the Cowboys kills the local sheriff, prompting Wyatt's brother Virgil to sign on as new sheriff.  The outlawing of guns in the town leads to the gunfight at the O.K. Corral - one of the best scenes of the movie, and considerably the best-ever recreation of the event - which ends in death and rage on the part of the Cowboys.  A revenge ambush results in more death, which prompts Wyatt to join the fight against the Cowboys, and he's determined to end it once and for all.

If you're looking for a good film, Tombstone has it all:  romance, comedy, gunfights, cowboys, drama and Val Kilmer.  Excellence. 

Exam Hiatus

Sorry I haven't been updating y'all with my usual awesomeness, but I'm deep in the midst of the last set of exams before finals, so my brain is a tad on the strung-out side. I couldn't come up with witty conversation if you paid me.

I do, however, feel that I owe you guys at least a little bit of a laugh since this is Hump Day. So check out the video below, it's one of my most favorite Will Ferrell - SNL moments. Ever.

See y'all when I can pull my head back above water!

Love, peace & chicken grease, y'all!

Happy Halloween!

My Little Mermaid and Snow White

Hope everyone has fun tricking or treating, whichever you prefer!

In honor of the second-best holiday of the year, check out this horror movie montage I found on YouTube.  Don't watch if you're squeamish (or a big chicken like me), because it has gory scenes!

Forget what you've heard about Louisiana

My awesome BBBF (blogging best bud forever) Tress over at Jumble Mash did a post earlier today about the misconceptions about West Virginia.  She wanted to know if there are any untrue myths/rumors about our home states.  Well, I live in Louisiana, and most of the rest of the world has learned everything they know about Louisiana from Britney Spears, Girls Gone Wild, The Real World and Swamp People.  Oh yes, these have all given us a wonderful reputation. 

So, with the encouragement of Tress, I'm going to set the record straight.

Myth #1:  We all drive around with our children in our laps. (Ahem, Britney.)

Truth:  Of course not.  I was so appalled at her when I saw this photograph a few years ago.  I know she was running from paparazzi, but COME ON!  Car seats are mandatory for a reason.  We have all of the same standard car seat laws as everywhere else.

Myth #2:  We have drive-thru daiquiri shops.

Truth:  We do, in fact, have drive thru daiquiri shops.  We also have open container laws.  The drink is not considered an open container unless you put the straw in.  Seriously.

Myth #3:  We all have swamps and alligators in our backyard.  We also all have a cousin named Bubba who only wears overalls and mumbles when he talks. 

Truth:  Negative.  The closest swamp to me is about 25 miles away, and it's considerably small.  It's also in the state park.  I've only ever seen alligators up close at the Audubon Zoo and at the Alligator Farm where they raise gators to kill for meat, skins and heads.  I also do not - nor do any of my friends -  have a cousin named Bubba.

Myth #4:  All local women take their tops off throughout the entirety of Mardi Gras. 

Truth:  Afraid not, guys.  In fact, about 99% of the women taking it all off during the massive party on Bourbon are tourists.  At other parades in the state, no one does that.  It's very much illegal.  The only place you can get away with it is on Bourbon Street, where pretty much anything goes.....and I do mean anything.  Ugh.

Myth #5:  Louisianians put football before everything else. 

Truth:  Not exactly.  We do have priorities, and they generally go in this order: 
1. Jesus
2. Football
3. Food
I do know people who have scheduled their weddings (and a few funerals) around LSU or Saints football games.  Most of us may have somewhat of an unhealthy obsession with our football teams, but that's okay.  We like it that way.

Myth #6:  We boil and eat those ugly red bug things.  We also suck the juice out of the heads.

Truth:  100% accurate.  Crawfish boils are some of the best times I've ever had:  family, food and fun.
 P.S. You have to suck the heads to get the juice and seasoning out.  Yum.

Hope that cleared up some of the misconceptions about my home state.  Y'all come and visit if you haven't already!

Fantabulous Friday - Halloween Edition

Finally, Friday has arrived.  This week has been entirely too long.  Since Halloween is a mere three days away, and Fridays are typically when I share the fantabulous things of the world, I've decided today to share with y'all the most fantabulous things about Halloween!

CANDY

Seriously, who doesn't love candy? 

HORROR MOVIES

Nothing like scaring the bejeezus out of yourself with all-time greats like Halloween, Friday the 13th, Silence of the Lambs, Se7en, The Shining and many more!

COSTUMES

Aside from the ever-increasing sluttiness that has become Halloween costumes, I love that for a night (or an entire weekend depending upon your stamina) you can be anything you want to be, like maybe Beetlejuice, The Mad Hatter, a giant hotdog, anything at all.

HAY RIDES

This has always been one of the things I most look forward to every year:  crowding onto a hay-filled trailer with a bunch of parents and kids to ride around the neighborhood collecting candy.

TRICK OR TREATING

I've been too old to do this for a while now, but now that I have kids I get to enjoy it all over again!

KID HALLOWEEN MOVIES/TV SPECIALS

I love "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!"  and "Hocus Pocus."  I'm also super-excited to see the new Shrek Halloween special (which I taped last night) "Scared Shrekless"!

What do you love most about Halloween?

Time Traveler decides to make cameo in Chaplin film

I know what you're thinking, and I couldn't agree more. However, this story is top news on MSNBC. (I'm starting to think maybe they're not all that bright....)

So here's the deal: some Charlie Chaplin mega-fan was watching Chaplin's 1928 film "The Circus" one day when he caught a glimpse of something that made him do a double take. He rewound the film and watched the scene again. Then again. And again.

What did he see? Well, he saw someone walking through the shot talking on a cell phone. In 1928. I repeat: A CELL PHONE. In 1928. Yes indeedy. His conclusion: time traveler.

Of course! It's so obvious.

You can see the clip from the film below (Note: There is no sound, so don't freak out and think your speakers are broken.)

Now, what I want to know, is where are Doc and Marty?



Movie Delight Monday - Halloween Edition

Alas, only six more days remain until one of the most fun holidays ever - HALLOWEEN.

 

I was racking my brain trying to think of the best movie for today, but I didn't just want to go with the obvious, super-popular films.  Instead, I'm going to give y'all the horror/suspense films that are hilariously scary (ie:  freaky movies that contain great comic relief).  The Scream trilogy, for example, would be considered "hilariously scary" thanks to Matthew Lillard, Jamie Kennedy and Parker Posey. 



The following are movies that are freaky with some much-appreciated comic relief OR just ridiculously funny, with a bit of scary built in:

13 Ghosts

I first came to really appreciate Matthew Lillard in the first Scream. 

He's so funny I forgot to be scared - for a while, at least - during this movie. 

   

House on Haunted Hill

When it comes to remakes, obviously I'm partial to the originals.  Kris Kattan in this

version, however, is fabulous.  He plays paranoid better than anyone else I've ever seen.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Aside from the all of the other hilarity that goes on in this film, I have only two words: 

Paul Reubens.  The scene where he's slayed is HILARIOUS. 

American Psycho

You'd have to read the novel to fully understand how funny it is. 

 Bateman's thoughts, which cannot properly be portrayed on film, are so abnormal

 and funny that you almost feel sorry for him and can understand his need to kill people.

Tremors

Everyone knows this is one of the best nonsensical "horror" movies ever made,

but I still love it.  Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward's constant bickering cracks me up.

What are some of the movies you find hilariously scary?

Tim Burton Day

As I've been sitting on my comfy couch with my daughters watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas" for about the 97th time this month, my mind has been a'wandering (I know this isn't an actual word, but it was used on an episode of Friends I watched yesterday and it stuck, so hush).  I think Tim Burton is one of the best directors there has ever been - and not just because he casts Johnny Depp in nearly every film of his - and even though lately he seems to want to put his very odd wife in all of his films. 

Editor's Note:  Although I'm paying tribute to Tim, John Hughes will now and forever be my MOST favorite director.  Just wanted to put that out in the universe.

Since I've deemed today Tim Burton Day, I'm going to share with y'all the best of his films.  In my opinion, of course.   Which is a much better opinion than that stupid Ebert guy.  Seriously.  He should be fired.

Without further ado, here we go:

MARS ATTACKS!

 Even though this movie is utterly ridiculous, I love it! If you've never seen it, pick a day

 when you have absolutely nothing else productive to do and watch it.  You'll thank me, I promise. 

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Despite having seen it so many times now I know every word (thanks to my girls),  I still think it's awesome. 

BATMAN RETURNS

I still remember being very young and thinking how cool it would be to dress up like

a cat like Michelle Pfeiffer.  In my defense, I was way too young to realize she was crazy. 

 Also, De Vito played Penguin fabulously.

BEETLEJUICE

One of the best films ever made.  Michael Keaton was excellent, and the supporting cast was awesome, too.  

Seriously, who didn't love watching Catherine O'Hara and Jeffrey Jones dancing to the Banana Boat Song?

EDWARD SCISSORHANDS

The film that began an infatuation with Johnny Depp that

would last a very, very long time. In fact, it's still going strong...

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

I think Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter was a genius idea.  This film was brilliant. 

I've liked every film of Mr. Burton's that I've seen.  There are a few of his I've yet to watch, but I'm planning a Burton Movie Marathon Day in the near future!

What films of his do you love?

Movie Delight Monday

Halloween is only two weekends away, which means the next two Movie Delight Mondays will feature horror movies!

Last Monday I chose the Scream Trilogy, and the week before that was Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Today I'm going with a little-known but TERRIFYING film. My older cousins made me watch it once when I was in second or third grade, and it still scares me to this day.  So, it might not actually be all that terrifying, but I'm too chicken to watch it again and find out!

The film I'm referring to is:

Editor's Note:  Again, since this movie terrified me so badly, I have not watched it since that first time, nearly twenty years ago.  As such, this review is based on extremely vivid memories and the help of IMBD for names and a few details.

The film starts out with a family, consisting of a snobbish father, his hateful new wife and his daughter, Judy finding themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere as a storm is moving in.  Judy is a small girl who is quite timid and not too fond of her new stepmother. 

The family realizes they are near a large mansion, so they seek shelter there.  An elderly couple lives in the mansion, and soon another stranded motorist, Randy, arrives with two punk, Madonna-looking chicks he picked up along the way.  The couple invites them all to stay until the storm passes. 

It becomes evident nearly immediately that the old couple is extremely odd, and they reveal that they make dolls and puppets. 

As they all retire to bed for the evening, we learn more about the stranded people, and that all but Randy and Judy are evil, mean or theiving people.  Of course, all bad people must be punished....

The dolls begin coming to life and killing off the people who need punishing.  In grotesque, freaky and horrifying manners they all start to bite the dust, one by one.   We learn more about the old couple and why the dolls are killing everyone, but the information doesn't stop the murders. 

The movie ends with the suggestion of a sequel, as most horror movies do.

If you're brave (which I'm not), below you can watch the original trailer for the film.

Watch it if you dare!

John Hughes lied to me

Before the angry mob forms with pitchforks and torches, let me explain.

I love John Hughes.  I think he was awesomely talented, and his movies in the 80s taught me everything I needed to know about high school. 

However, that being said.....

He completely lied about romance.  By doing so, he set me up to be hugely disappointed throughout the majority of my teen years.  Why do I feel this way?  Well, let me break out the evidence:



Exhibit A:

Sixteen Candles

Thanks to this film, I believed the hottest, richest, most popular boy in school would break up with his hot blonde girlfriend to go out with me - the lowly, awkward sixteen-year-old.

LIE!

Exhibit B:

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Thanks to this film, I believed I there existed such a teenage boy who was so cool that he and his dorky best friend would skip school, steal friend's dad's car, break me out of school and take me to the city for the day on an adventure filled with museums, baseball, ritzy restaurants, musical numbers, swimming and serious conversation.....but surprisingly all done within school hours.

LIE!

Exhibit C:

Breakfast Club

Thanks to this film, I thought all it took for the social walls in school to be broken down was one day in detention, and it was okay for rich girls to date leather-clad, pierced punks and weird girls to date jocks. 

LIE!

Exhibit D:

Pretty in Pink

Thanks to this film, I believed the popular teenage guy would suddenly develop a conscience, stand up for what's right and not give in to peer pressure from his buds.

LIE!


I rest my case.